Has anyone found that when they came out they gradually lost touch with their straight friends even if they were perfectly accepting? I have no gay friends but i do have good friends. I already spend much of my time touring on my bike and none of my friends have an interest in this. The older i get the more i do this and because we all work during the week i do notice i spend less time with them now than when we were younger. OK, i know when you get older it's natural that friends who remain close still don't spend as much time together, but surely the more in common you have there is better chances of that friendship lasting.
Are you sure that you have gradually lost touch with your straight friends, because you came out to them? The key word here is that you gradually lost touch. If your straight friends had immediately started to drift away from you after you came out, it would be plausible for you to ponder whether or not coming out was the cause of their behavior. Since that was not the case, it may be possible that something else is to blame. In any case, what I noticed when I came out to my straight friends is that they wanted to make gay jokes significantly more frequently. Louis C.K. did a sketch on his show "Louie" about a gay man telling his straight friends that he talks about gay sex with them more often than with his gay friends. I think it's kind of amusing. I'm sorry to hear that your friendships have drifted apart, however. That is unfortunate.
yes, i seen them say they wanted to know more abt me being trans, assumed it meant i only like girls and am lesbian, and after time went on they lost the acceptance tolerance love all thing and started calling me a woman and saying not to push my beliefs on them as they think I'm immoral. I am not doing anything! I just exist! other friends said they support me we remain brother in Christ...but I have not had a reply in months to my last hello. I know they are busy being a priest but really? Not even Christmas hi? Another was my 15 yr best friend. She married wealth and moved away, and a baby made her maternal. She kept insisting i date her bro in law and said i hate babies. So I came out and she said I claim this, but it is devil behind it, asked if i like girls, eventually calmed. But...she rarely writes now and usually asks if here at uni "have u found a church yet?" i should tell her a gay church. others who assumed i was a man but a person disliked me for being Christian told them I'm intersexed and have a dick and pussy, they one by one dropped me off FB, the others stopped offering to do study groups and not reply to hi. i didn't do anything wrong. they just want to go away.
I think you loose some commonalities with your straight friends after you have come out so it can be easy to let those friendships "die on the vine" so to say. Thats not to say that you cant keep them, or make new relationships with straight people, I have tons of straight and gay friends, but yes, I have also lost a lot. Its part of what makes being gay a little harder i suppose. :/
Yes, this is why l never fully did. l had a small group of friends l came out to when l was around 20 and l didn't intend on going back in the closet. Eventually they all started dating and l wasn't because there are like 12 lesbians here and 6 of them l would never touch. But that's a different story. Anyway, they moved on wiht their lives like straight people do and l still hung out with them. Would go to the same parties, have them over when we had time, all of that. Eventually l felt lonely and hated being the third wheel. A guy l had been close with knew about my sexuality but we were like...basically the same person so l thought it might work. Long story short it didn't, l try the same thing with a few other guys, l end up 25 years old with no gay friends whatsoever and failed hetero relationships. And that was the last penis l had lol. The moral of the story is, don't sell your identity short to try and keep up with the people around you. l know it's tempting. l wasn't just trying to fit in, l LIKED these people. But you see how it will (probably) end.
Can't say my sexuality has changed anything for me. All my friends are straight, and I still like the same things since coming out, so our friendship hasn't changed. We still hang out and do the same things we have always done.
Just to note i haven't come out but this is a worry that has crossed my mind. I know they won't reject me or avoid me but i do feel over time we will drift apart.
I really don't see why this would be the case and I don't think it's worth worrying about. Obviously I couldn't talk about long term because I've only come out to (some of) my friends in the last 6 months or so but there's no evidence so far that we're 'drifitng apart' and if anything I'm closer to the friends I've told than before.
I don't think being gay or coming out would necessarily change the relationship, but I have found that since coming out I like to find other people who are similar to me as well. I have a couple friends who are lesbians and it's nice to talk to them about certain things that talking to my straight friends, they wouldn't really understand my feelings. For example, sometimes people will ask me what's it's like to be a lesbian, to love another woman, and I'll say it's the same way you feel about a man but it's just with a woman, some people have trouble understanding that.
Depends what kind of friendships you have. Some people just have a group of all girls or all guys and it wouldn't really affect that. My friends were all mixed in and mostly dating each other, and when they all hung out it was mostly couples. So far awhile l was the awkward single person at these things. l made a few friends who were also single and male...pretty much lead to my hooking up with them eventually. Stupid(and selfish) but on some level l did it because other women wanted to date them and l didn't want to let them go. if l'd had a group of just female friends none of this would have happened but l've had more male friends my entire adult life. Seems like it's common for gay men or women to have a gaggle of opposite sex friends, l also had gay male friends lol.
I lost touch with a few friends one didn't believe me thought it was a phase and a few of them got a bit nasty with me i ended up in fights . I see a couple of them around still .
