There's some social event for law students, doesn't matter which year you're in, and the person I've been trying to date (well at least we haven't found a convenient time yet which suits us both) is going. Should I ask him if he wants to hang out? I would really like to talk to him. I'm positive his friends will be there, and I can't talk about 'us' or anything relating to homosexuality since I'm in the closet... Ugh.. Thoughts? What would you do?
Take opportunities to get to know him. Seek him out as a friend so you get a sense of whether he's playing for your team or if the two of you are even compatible. Start with intentions of friendship as much as possible first. That way you won't feel so pressured to come out to him right away.
This is correct. Friends first until you are sure. The slower way is the best way. Never dive right in just assuming that someone might be gay. Delve and investigate by getting to know him in a different way. Hugs.
I just want to get a chance to talk with him, but it's not exactly as easy as one might think, and I'm afraid that all this messaging asking him if he is free on this day, that day et. might get to him and annoy him. I know for a fact that he has a somewhat way too social life, he's always out and about :/ ---------- Post added 13th Feb 2013 at 03:28 PM ---------- Oh he told me is gay. I already know. And he knows I'm a closeted gay who is giving very strong hints that he is very interested in him.
Find another time to get to know him there must be somewhere or time you can get some alone face time under any circumstances. You will think of something dear. Remember friends first and maybe something special later.
We were friends but we just haven't seen each other in some time. I keep messaging him and be like ''fuck, I'm a dork'' everytime he has something else to do. I wonder if he even wants to meet up in the first place.
You are the best judge of this. i would not bombard him with messages. he will grow tired of that fast. Let it go awhile. You will lose the whole thing otherwise.
When should I ask him out then? Ugh, I mean if he just told me he's not interested, it would be less plainful than all this dragging along the way. ---------- Post added 13th Feb 2013 at 04:15 PM ---------- I just think it's wishful thinking, I'm giving up on ever finding someone to love if a person who was on really good terms with me is just making me feel so depressed inadvertently, if this is the way I am feeling right now, maybe I'm not meant to be with someone. I feel so sad today, I heard my friends talking about all their plans for Valentine's Day... and it kind of tears me up inside because I really doubt I can ever be in their position.
Awww don't say that. (*hug*) I love you already and I haven't even met you! The perfect guy is looking for you too, and just remember that somewhere out there is your future partner who wants to cuddle you, but just doesn't know where you are yet.
Just wondering, why are you still in the closet? You're in your twenties already...not trying to sound like a dick, but this is your life now, you're presumably done with college, you're in the real world now. If you really want to meet guys and make things easier, you should probably just come out to some more people.
Yeah. It could actually be that because you`re not open, and he is, he might feel that you`re sort of in an early stage. I actually heard a friend of mine comment on that once, that often people who`s accepted their sexuality and come out, hesitate to date people who are a bit earlier in the process. Though I could be completely wrong, and this is possibly quite not the case for this guy, just a suggestion. How often do you see him on a regular basis? As in, do you see him at law school or something like that? I would ignore him for a while, if I were you. Freshen yourself up a bit, get a hair-cut, work out, do a few things that could make you feel more confident and secure, that`s sexy And whenever you come across him, smile, check him out in a subtle way (if he`s actually looking for someone to be with, he`ll notice), and then walk away. Then he`ll get the sense that you might be interested, but that he`s going to have to do some pursuing. It might help, considering you pursuing him doesn`t seem to be doing the trick. It`s worth a shot at least! And remember if you feel sexy, you`ll automatically be percieved as more sexy Good luck!
It's not law school, it's just a uni with different courses, and not much anymore, he repeated the year. Months since we last met. He just agreed to meet up after our exams and now... ehh, oh well, I was just being too naive.
You would like to hear the words one way or another. It provides closure. I would give him some distance for a week and then text. Say hey I was going to such and such you want to come. If he says no i would make that a no to the relationship and move on. Hugs and love and best wishes
Thanks. Right now in a bit of a fix because someone close to me has died. Not the dog by the way, he's still okay. My great uncle, who was quite an impressive man in many old-fashioned ways, died. So much for Valentine's. I'll message him next week and talk to him about opening up to other people about my sexuality, if he knows any of our mutual class friends who are supportive and so on... right now I'm just not kind of thinking about him. It will break the ice I hope.
