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Straight ≠ Heterosexual , Gay ≠ Homosexual , Bi ≠ Bisexual

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Reptillian, Feb 17, 2013.

  1. Reptillian

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    I see that there is some misconception regarding what it meant to be straight, gay, or even bi. It's appears that Straight = Heterosexual is a valid concept at first, but it also appears that straight can also be applicable to an heteroromantic asexual, an aromantic asexual who have a preference to watch the opposite sex,a heteroromantic homosexual can be considered bi and so on. Since straight, gay, and bi seems to be defined by the preference or inclination qualifier and Xsexual is defined by the sexual attraction qualifier, we must assert that being straight is not always heterosexual. I can consider myself to be straight when factoring into pornography activities, but also I can be considered an aromantic asexual when factoring into my overt emotions and behaviors by the inclination qualifier.

    It is important to take in note that inclination qualifier, preference qualifier, and sexual attraction qualifier are not the same though can be connected.

    Inclination- Who you'd be more inclined to be attached to at some level even if you don't feel sexual attraction.

    Preference- Your preferred sex though not necessarily sexually attracted or romantically attracted to the preferred sex.

    I know you might not agree with me on this issue, I have no problem with seeing other disagreeing with me. What I'm saying, while it is a strong indication that straight means one's heterosexual, I'm saying it's not always the case.
     
    #1 Reptillian, Feb 17, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2013
  2. Harve

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    I had to read that twice to understand it.

    Misconception on whose part? Straight is synonymous with heterosexual by mine and almost everyone else's book. I'm not sure how you're claiming a misconception, it's almost as if you're trying to redefine a label.
     
  3. Reptillian

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    As someone who comes from the AVEN community, I'd say that straight can also be applicable to heteroromantic asexual because you can't tell them from heterosexual partners when out in public. Straight can also be applicable to heteroplatonic asexual and so on. So no, it's not always the case. That's all I'm saying.
     
    #3 Reptillian, Feb 17, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2013
  4. Pain

    Pain Guest

    'Straight' is used as a multinational colloquialism for opposite-sex attraction, romantic or sexual. 'Gay' is used similarly, but meaning same-sex attraction, romantic or sexual. Bisexual means attracted to both, et cetera.

    Methinks you're putting too much analysis into labels and trying to use big words to sound smart. Relax a bit-- this is a familiar place.
     
  5. Harve

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    I agree that it's good for sexualities for them to be understood, but it's for precisely this reason why I dislike the use of all these labels: sexuality can be complicated and coming up with all these terms does NOT simplify matters for people who are only aware of straight/gay/bi (most people where I'm from).

    I'm not saying these 'heteroromantic asexuals' aren't important, but heterosexuals (or straights, if you will) completely outnumber them so it's inevitable that straight and heterosexual are and will remain synonymous. Even using your definitions, if someone is straight, they would almost always also identify as heterosexual.

    If you start seeing someone, I don't think it's a good idea to say 'bear in mind that I'm panromantic asexual', rather 'I'm not particularly into sex and I do like both genders'. And sorry if anyone is offended by the enforcement of the gender binary but it's just semantics. Seriously.
     
    #5 Harve, Feb 17, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2013
  6. FemCasanova

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    Wow. Yeah, that strained my head a bit.

    I honestly don`t see the attraction to the labels. Maybe it is because I prefer to keep things simple. I could call myself a label too, I suppose, because I`ve figured out that the bi-romantic lesbian thing is pretty fitting on me. But not sure how correct it is, or what is the correct label, but I don`t have the interest or energy to figure it out. I`m fine with lesbian, it`s the most fitting simple label for me.

    :slight_smile:
     
  7. Ianthe

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    "Straight" and "gay" are cultural social identities. Heterosexual and homosexual are clinical psychological terms. (Bisexual is, somewhat ironically, used both ways, although the shortened "bi" is used exclusively for the cultural identity.)

    Cultural identities have broader, less precise definitions than psychological jargon, but are richer in cultural association, history, and resonance. And they connect you to a community.

    My feeling is that the analytical psychological jargon (and more psychological-esque terms) are useful in an early stage in the self-acceptance process. Some people find them helpful in sorting out their feelings. This is for when people are answering, often in great detail, questions about Who am I and how do I feel about things?

    But these kinds of terms are not very useful for questions that come later--What does this mean about my role in society, where do I belong, and how do I relate to others? For those questions, the cultural identities are much more helpful.
     
  8. curlycats

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    .....so what if you/the collective "we" just left it at

    hetero* = "straight"
    homo* = "gay"
    bi*/pan*/poly* = (insert label preferred by said individual here)

    and called it a day?

    bringing aromanticism and inclinations/preferences which may never be acted upon into the equation is simply always going to be problematic.
     
  9. Dalmatian

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    Labels are used for generalization, simply as a means to sort things into groups which share typical characteristics. If you simply accept that, you don't have any problems. Arguing about labels not taking into account possible individual differences is pointless: they are not meant to anyway.
     
  10. Just Jess

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    I think as long as it's friendly, and never abusive, people should be okay using those three terms to mean those three things and expecting them to mean those things. The only exception I can think of is when, for example, one transgendered woman oriented towards women self identifies as lesbian, and another transgendered woman oriented toward men self identifies as a gay man. Because transgendered is one of those umbrella terms, both of those could be valid, and that means that it's unclear what "straight" or "gay" mean here. Otherwise I think the terms map pretty much one to one.

    I think attraction, preference, and inclination are way way more granular than what most people are trying to say when they use any of those terms. I think there's probably better ways to let people know that you can't make any deep romantic connection with the gender you're physically attracted to, or with the one you'd be openly seeking out, than using words like "straight", "gay", and "bi". I think that's also way more than I'd want to share with people.

    I'm getting more comfortable with the idea of just letting people label me however they darn well please. I'm starting to try to think of labels as a filter. If I'm ever bold enough to go out dressed and a cute girl starts asking questions instead of assuming, then I'll know she's worth answering and explaining myself to.
     
  11. prism

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    [​IMG]

    I'll probably get a lot of shit for this, but I think labels like this are more confusing and destructive than they are helpful in identifying a person's preferences.
     
  12. Willjarvis

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    In most cases, I'd say that precise labels are a good thing, but it can be so difficult working out whether or not those qualifiers apply to oneself that the terms can't be used accurately. It's like recording the mass of an object to four decimal places when your scales are only accurate to two. One does feel romantic and/or sexual inclinations and/or preferences before one can say "I'm bi" or whatever, but identifying them is another matter.
    I assume a lot of people who just have the sexuality they were raised to expect haven't considered all this, in which case do you really want to explain it to them all?
     
  13. Oddish

    Oddish Guest

    Agreed.

    I'm still confused, though. About this thread.
    Can we just.. keep... things simple. When we start adding more terms to labels and really trying to define our sexuality to a T, it becomes somewhat.. difficult.
     
  14. AaronG

    AaronG Guest

    I like boys, i'm gay. Can't it just be that simple. All these darn labels are making my head hurt.:confused:
     
  15. Minx

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    Offline, I just call people... people.

    They're human, they bleed, they make mistakes. That's all I really need to know. :lol:

    They're rather bland if you ask me. :dry: :slight_smile:
     
  16. cm81990

    cm81990 Guest

    I don't have problems with labels and in many circumstances they are helpful. While I'm not out and identify as "straight" to my friends/family/etc, internally I label myself Gay or androsexual (lust for guys). To me, gay and straight are very rigid and black & white orientations. And in my case, my sexuality is pretty black & white. The label works out best for me. I also base it on what my sexual feelings have been in the past, present, and the likelihood of what they will be in the future. Do I account for sexual fluidity? A little bit. I firmly believe there's no more than a 10% chance of me experiencing sexual fluidity in the future. It's safe to say my orientation will remain gay, rigid, and unchanging.

    For those that have experienced constant confusion and sexual fluidity over the course of their lives, a label would probably be pointless and possibly damaging. If you've spent the past 5+ years with a stable, rigid, unchanging sexual orientation, then a label works out pretty well. I haven't experience true authentic opposite sex attraction since puberty, so the gay label for me is a safe bet.
     
  17. Hot Pink

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    I dunno... While I am panromantic homosexual, I don't think that makes me bi. I still consider myself a lesbian.
     
  18. Lexington

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    I know one guy who is exclusively attracted to guys, but insists that since he's only attracted to effeminate guys, and only wants to "top" them, he's actually straight. And you know what? He's welcome to use that definition. I don't think he'll find a lot of people who agree with that definition, but he's welcome to use it.

    "When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less." - Lewis Carroll

    Lex
     
  19. Deaf Not Blind

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    hahahahaha! KISSFIST!

    Transgender is umbrella term.
    In some ways so is Gay.
    And so is Straight.

    Some peeps make things really really specific...and it don't feel good to my brain.
    Others make things so grey scale...fluid this and pan that .....and my brain goes bye bye again.

    I say, if it aint broke, don't fix it...

    ---------- Post added 18th Feb 2013 at 05:28 PM ----------

    Please note: In ASL BI is how we sign bisexual, so it is not exclusively for cultural identity in the Deaf Community. :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 18th Feb 2013 at 05:34 PM ----------

    Says the " homoromantic demisexual"? :roflmao:
    do you now say lesbian?
     
  20. thegaymer

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    that just fucked my mind