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Asexual/Sexual relationships?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Count Duckula, Feb 17, 2013.

  1. I saw a post in the Anonymous section which has made me extremely curious about what people think. What do asexual people think about dating sexual people, and vice versa?Would any asexual people be willing to have sex to please a sexual partner, or are you completely adverse to having sex? And to the sexual people, how important is sex to you in a relationship? Would you be able to be satisfied with someone who has no interest in sex?

    Me personally, I think I could happily date an asexual. I'm more interested in having a loving, romantic relationship than a sexual one. It's true that I have sexual desires, but they aren't the most important thing to me. Plus, I can always masturbate if I need to. She would need to be willing to cuddle and kiss me though. I don't think I could live without that.

    I look forward to seeing what other people's views are.
     
  2. Cthulhu

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    I think I would really have to love the person to have a relationship with an asexual. It would have to be a love that can outweigh any frustration that would result from a lack of sexual intercourse/intimacy. While I don't think sex is the be all, end all to a relationship, I think it serves a purpose of maintaining a relationship especially later on in a relationship (this, of course, differs among people).
     
    #2 Cthulhu, Feb 17, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2013
  3. FollowtheFreeman

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    I think it would be nice dating an asexual. The less time we spend having sex the more time we can spend fantasizing over Freddie Mercury.
     
  4. Minx

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    I don't mind dating sexual people, but I've tried to please partners and it only leaves me uncomfortable, even if I adore the person.

    I just can't compromise that anymore, so it would be a relationship with someone who accepts that and me for me. :slight_smile:

    Which is a rare person to find. :lol:
     
  5. timo

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    I don't have any experience, but after dating for a while I'd be willing to try sex to please them. But only on some terms I shall not discuss here :grin:
     
  6. OMGWTFBBQ

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    l don't think so.

    l would feel like l was molesting them by asking for sex and l honestly need it ;_;

    Plus l know it's not how asexuality works but l would always feel they just didn't find me attractive.

    l can't look at it from their viewpoint, the more attractive l think someone is, the more sex is the only thing that would satisfy me.
     
    #6 OMGWTFBBQ, Feb 17, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2013
  7. I get this. I kind of feel like having sex with someone who doesn't want it is a fancy form of masturbation.
     
  8. OMGWTFBBQ

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    Yep. But less of a turn because l can't be turned on knowing someone else isn't into it. That's what turns me on.

    Even if they pretended to be into it, l would feel like a dirty molester lol.
     
  9. Oddish

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    I would much rather date an asexual person because I know I can go without sex, but if I happen to fall in love with a sexual person, then what happens, happens. I'd still be willing to have sex if they wanted to, if that's what made them happy. And as a demisexual, I might end up having sexual attraction to my partner and therefore enjoy sex. But I'm not of expertise yet. :grin:
     
  10. I agree, which is why I wouldn't ask for it. If I really loved them, I think that would trump my desire for sex and I could satisfy myself when I get the urge. It also helps that I don't have a super strong sex drive, although it still exists.
     
  11. BornInTexas

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    I could date an asexual person. But my fantasies involve me being in love with a very sexual person... I'm not sure how it would work. Asexuality just seems odd. Maybe we could just sit in bed and talk. I enjoy doing that too. :grin:
     
  12. OMGWTFBBQ

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    Hehe. l keep trying to picture myself this way and think it shouldn't matter if l love the person but l know in reality it will just end in me taking care of business at 2 Am crying :icon_redf

    l would be their bestie friend in the whole wide world though lol.
     
  13. Zontar

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    This would be a solid no for me; sex is very important to my personality and interests. It would be comparable to me dating someone who was hardline religious, it would be an utter disconnect in terms of emotional compatibility and I don't think we'd survive past the initial stages of courtship. This is simply a class of people I could never connect with, much like I also need someone who is smart, adventurous, and youthful. An open relationship would not solve this problem, much like dating someone I couldn't have intellectual discussions with wouldn't be assuaged simply by talking with intellectual friends.

    If I was dating someone and they came to realize they were asexual, I think that would be comparable to if someone I was dating realized they were straight, and I would handle the scenario similarly.

    One thing I certainly don't appreciate is being chastised for thinking this way, and am puzzled why the same people who would do so don't think similarly when you have any other kind of mixed orientation relationship.
     
    #13 Zontar, Feb 17, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2013
  14. Minx

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    I see what you're saying. :slight_smile:

    I'm not sure it equates to someone gay finding out their partner is straight though. :lol:
     
  15. Cthulhu

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    I view such a relationship similarly, but I might make some wiggle room for someone if I fall deeply for the person.
     
  16. KTWK

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    Think I'd have to go with the majority on this one. Generally, I don't think I could do it and wouldn't prefer it.

    But I'll never say never.
     
  17. curlycats

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    being demisexual, whether in a relationship with a sexual or an asexual person, it's likely that i would have to compromise in some way or another.... and that sucks. that said, with several years of experience in mixed orientation relationships and the fact that i am far more asexual in nature than sexual, i can honestly say that while i am willing to compromise on sex with a sexual partner, i think it would be less of a compromise for me with an asexual partner. that is to say, i would happily and easily forgo sex all together, but i am also open to having a sexual partner, although i feel that much more caution and explanation would be needed in that instance.

    mixed orientation relationships are hard. REALLY hard. but to me it seems like such relationships are the only real option as entering into a relationship with another demisexual is very unlikely, sadly.
     
  18. Yes, I would date someone that is asexual. Of course, I'm only 13. Low sex drive. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: But at the moment, that would be an astounding YES!
     
  19. castle walls

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    I can't date an asexual person. No offense. I'm sure that there are some great asexual people out there but a relationship just wouldn't work out between me and an asexual person
     
  20. myheartincheck

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    I would happily date an asexual person, but a life long partnership is another thing....

    I don't have a high sex drive... I'm really more of a demisexual so I tend to focus on the emotional/mental/spiritual compatibility aspect of relationships. That being said I still have sexual urges and I'd imagine a lifelong relationship with an asexual to be one of friendship, not of romantic intent.

    Sex brings people closer in alot of ways, and helps bond them and as OMGWTFBBQ said, I'd feel like I was always molesting them and feel like a dirty monster for wanting an asexual sexually since there would be no benefit for them...
    :confused: