We all know at least one of THOSE people

A lot of the kids in my orchestra are really conservative homophobes. I chose not to tell them about my sexuality because it would raise conflict, which I try to avoid. If they ask me about it, I'll tell them, but I don't feel the need to justify myself for no particular reason.

 

I don't come out to those people.

Except one because I didn't think she would react so strongly. One of my friends has had a seriously hard time accepting it. I won't go into what she said...

 

My mom so far is the only person I've told that freaked out on me. She said she's going to force me to be alone my whole life and gives me looks when I talk about my future. It's dumb since she thinks it's a phase, but right now I'm fine with whatever she makes herself believe.

I didn't deal with her freak out, my aunt did. Luckily she was there to calm her down or else I don't know how it would've turned out. :/

 

I told my family about my gayness and despite a few sniggers, a bit of awkwardness, they seem ok. A bit freaked out, but then, I have been married for ten years and have a son. When I have to tell my other half, when I do get a proper girl friend, that's gonna be somewhat uncomfortable. Also my Nan....lol, I can't even imagine her reaction. She already thinks I'm retarded because I've got bad eyesight. To be honest though, I don't much care what she thinks of me. I'm already a freak to her anyway, and that's fine by me. If she plays up as and when I have to tell her, I'll just tell her to fuck off. Excuse the swearing.

 

I know some of my older relatives are going to freak when I tell them. Luckily they've all immigrated overseas and I see them like once a year, so i don't plan to actually come out to them.

I also think a really close friend would freak out if I come out to him, but probably not to the extent where our friendship would be damaged. I predict there'll be general awkwardness for a few days, then we'll be fine again.

 

My mom. lt's not going to happen lol.

she's the type who will try to hash over my childhood with me and essentially think that she caused ir, or just pretend to think so she can have a fake nervous breakdown that l'm expected to help her work through.

Doesn't do much to negate the lesbian mother-daughter bond gone wrong theory but there you have it lol.

 

When I told my mother, she told me, "I don't want a gay son." I cried, hoping that she would get over it after a couple more hours of thinking. After my father returned from work, she went into detail about how I was a 'fag' and a 'homosexual who will burn in hell'. Apparently, my father didn't like that. He tried to beat it out of me with his belt, but I told my mother it was a joke after that night.

She said never to joke like that again, but when I am able to live on my own, she will know who I truly am. I will never tell my father. My mom may tell him when I tell her.

So far, I am out to half of my friends who have been overwhelmingly supportive. All I have to do is tell my cousin, and my friendship circle will know everything!

 

All of my grandparents. My dad forced me to come out to his mother and she told me that she doesn't love me anymore.oh well.
And my grandpa is a huge homophobe, he even hates it when I wear pink, I'm not technically out to him but if the conversion comes up I won't deny it.
My mother's mother would probably disown me if she weren't in denial.

 

Well one of my friends freaked out! she would not believe me when i told her i was gay, I texted it to her and she asked if it was really me, then she asked if i was trolling her, and then after like 10 minutes of texting "I AM GAY" to her she still wouldn't believe me so I told her to go on EC and look for my coming out story titled "regretful coming out" and at the end of the thread it said "Hi Katie (her name)"

 

Actually I thought I'd have somebody like that, which I wanna tell, but theres not.

 

That person was one of my not-so-close friend Josh. My best friend, Josh, and I just got done watching a movie at our crappy local theater and I was driving us all home. Josh was sitting in the front seat while my best friend sat in the back. While Josh was texting on his phone my best friend and I were discussing the plot of the movie. I ended up hitting a big pot hole in construction by mistake causing Josh to drop his phone; which then conveniently fell to the side near his car door and under his seat. While digging around looking for his phone he ended up finding my make-up bag. At first he said "dude, you let your Mom keep make-up in your car?". Before I could compose my thoughts on how to handle the situation he dug around under the seat more and found my purse. I then figured the jig was up and started to explain how I was trans. I knew it was not going to go over well as he is one of those "macho he-man" type of guys.

I barely got 3 sentences in before he started to freak out, saying stuff like: "oh shit! I'm in the car with a drag queen! You just took me out on a date didn't you?! Hell no I'm not sleeping with you!". My best friend (who I confined in earlier in the week) told him to calm down which didn't work. I ended up dropping Josh off at a nearby Wendys so that his girlfriend could pick him up and take him the rest of the way home. It took him a couple of weeks of avoiding me before he called to finally hear me out. I figured the freak out would happen; but I didn't know he would cause himself to damn near have a stroke over it.

 

A guy I worked with in the university library. He was nice enough for the most part, but tended to make some pretty homophobic comments at times. At this point I was pretty much coming out to all and sundry so decided 'what the hell' and came out to him while we were working a shift together.

His reactions in order (This across several days/weeks since we worked short and varied shifts being students):

"No you're not! You're just trying to mess with my head. You like messing with people's heads and this is just you messing with my head."

<I calmly explained that while I do indeed enjoy messing with people's heads, in this case I was telling the truth. That it was messing with his head was just a bonus>

"But you can't be gay! You don't fit my stereotype!"

<Told him I had better uses for my time then fitting stereotypes>

"But, those girls were hitting on you! You could just have em! How can you not want that?!"

<Extended discussion explaining (again) how this gay thing works>

"You have to come to a titty bar with me! We can fix you and get you back on the right path!"

<Told him I would only go if he came to a gay bar with me. If I was going to have to waste an evening, so was he.>

Nonononononono! (His response to my condition for going to a bar with him - at this point I had never actually been to a gay bar and wasn't even sure how to find one, but I certainly wasn't going to tell him that )

<Later he raised the same idea in front of his girlfriend. I responded with the same counter-offer. She thought this was perfectly reasonable>

Ack! Nonononononono! (His response to his girlfriend thinking this was perfectly reasonable).

I got moved over to another branch of the library at this point (U of Az has a bunch of library buildings on campus) so this never really got resolved, but it was great fun while it lasted

Interestingly enough, as much as he might sound like something of a nit, he was actually pretty smart (we did talk about other things besides this) and complex. He came from Indiana and had been raised Catholic and converted to Islam while I worked with him. His girlfriend was still Catholic IIRC and was Asian. Once he knew I was gay, the nasty comments stopped immediately and he never actually got nasty about anything we discussed about it, although we had some spirited debates. All up, I enjoyed his company, although he did freak out a bit at first.

Todd

 

My mom
When she saw i was talking to another guy, she flipped out saying stuff like "do I have to bring you to a doctor to fix you" like theres something wrong with me. She has since treated me differently by talking trash about gays whenever possible. I partially convinced her that it was a phase but she doesn't trust me for anything. It was a complete disaster and it will be again in the future.

 

My mom is the same way. Don't worry. They'll have to get over it; we're still their children, and they have to love us regardless.

 

I wish she treated me like I was her kid. Its like she knows I'm gay but still in denial. She said that she will kick me out of the house if she finds out I'm gay which is kinda good in a way.

 

Wow I'm in the EXACT situation except i tried to convince her I just haven't found any girls yet.

 

We are all connected somehow. hmmmmm.

 

mom was fine with it...go see the DAUGHTER Valentine she sent, oh confused woman she!

But I had issues with my long time best buddy of 13+ years, to be expected. She is Pentacostal, not as religious as her church was, but even with mom who was into wicca, and dad in prison, etc...she still said God couldn't be using this for good it is from the devil. She got very defensive as if I was messing up her plans for me...you would need to know situation...she seemed to assume cuz we both never dated that means we would marry similarly and have closer to parallel lives...things like she is tomboy too. I asked her IF SHE is a girl...yes of course i am! well, wonderful! I am happy for you that you are makes it so much easier...cuz i am not, and you haven't a clue.

oh yes id, i am not naive as you think is 1st time? no, i happen to have several friends who CLAIM ti be homos, lesbians and trans...have you found a new church home yet? so, do you like women?



How i handled it...she got off FB, i waited 3 hours until very early in morning talking sadly to SolarCat abt it, she came back calmer. I said i will only marry whoever God created for me nobody else...good i agree she said. we spoke a bit more.

since then she only talks small talk, hows your mom, and have you found a church yet. She don't even get it! My church is back home, i have not found one here it aint so simple! However, not often speaking, and not as deep, esp religion i seen, and when i turned the tables yesterday asking abt why she and her hubby had not done yet what she had told me was God's plan for her and would help end oppression there for poor...remmy she was poor...she made excuses abt her hubby not wanting to now and he is in charge. yeeeaaah.

so i would say we are now loosely friends, more than acquaintances, and she don't like it when i show her the hypocrisy.

FYI to those who dislike me standing against those who hate on men or Christians, I do opposite and stand against peeps in those groups if they get bigoted too...so don't be so judging me!

 

My dad. What a dick.
When my mum told him about me coming out to her, he just flipped. He came over the house, we got into a huge argument, and he goes, "You're lying to me. Why the fuck would you want to be gay? Get your mind straight, you really need some professional help." lol.

This past weekend when I stayed over at his house (he invited me, I guess he was trying to be nice) we talked and I brought it up again, and he apologized. Actually cried a bit too, and this is a guy who I've only seen cry maybe 2 or 3 times in my entire life. He felt a whole lot of remorse for what he said, and between all of the harassing phone calls and threats he made to me over the past 2-3 months. I didn't know how to feel about it, I'm just glad that he's learning to accept it now though.

Eugh only him, though. We've always been on the fence about everything. Our relationship is like a seesaw. Hate the shit he says/does yet I still love him for his advice and the fact that he's my dad. Blahhhh.