I'm almost sure my mum knows i'm a lesbian (it's pretty obvious although i've never told her straight out) but every time the issue of homosexuality comes up on tv, in discussion or just in general she becomes very awkward and tries to change the subject. Whether she avoids the issue all together or uncomfortably skirts around it, it's really difficult. I guess this is part of the reason i haven't been able to talk to her about my situation because I fear what may result if I do. I love my mum unconditionally but I don't know, I guess I just wish she was someone I could talk to and not feel uncomfortable around.
Hey, welcome to EC. My Mum can be a bit like this too. Not on homosexuality as such, but on certain sexual issues. I know that feeling of discomfort and awkwardness. I don't know how you can dispel it, because such things are usually deep rooted in a person and are difficult to overturn. On the other hand, you don't know hwo she will respond if you tell her. She may recognise that she needs to deal with it for your sake, and you might be able to have a conversation. Or even if it doesn't work out the first time, over a while, she might begin to be less nervous about it. Then you can start to communicate with each other better. I'm not really sure how to help, but I'm sure that if you hang around here you'll get some good advice Good luck!
If your ready for her to know, i think you should write her a letter. That way you get to explain everything, without feeling uncomfortable, and She can read the letter and have time for it to sink in. Then speak with her after.
Your mother may very well know and is in denial. Go read the Parent/Family Stages of Grief. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=930
