1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

What's the most ignorant thing you've heard from another LGBT person?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by wonderingdave01, Feb 25, 2013.

  1. We've all experienced ignorance outside of the LGBT community, but what about inside?

    2 days ago, I was asked "what are doing inside an LGBT center?" by an old man who thought I was straight just because I dress masculine.

    I've heard some gays say that bisexuals don't exist and other biphobic things.

    So what are some of the ignorant things you've heard from another LGBT community?
     
  2. Argentwing

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2012
    Messages:
    6,696
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I've heard (from a fully gay guy) that bisexuals will never understand what gays and lesbians have to deal with. I can't say I was really offended, as I don't feel very disadvantaged in a straight relationship, but it was pretty stupid for him to say we don't suffer internal stress/ get outside grief for our orientation also. I mean, if we're too normal and just and want to be part of the club, then what is he doing by ostracizing us?
     
    #2 Argentwing, Feb 25, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2013
  3. Minx

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2013
    Messages:
    1,293
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado
    "How can you be gay if you don't like sleeping with guys?" - Random gay guy.

    *sigh* :lol:
     
  4. plasticcrows

    plasticcrows Guest

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2012
    Messages:
    427
    Likes Received:
    0
    When you say "ignorant" what exactly do you mean? The literal definition of the word is destitute of knowledge or education and that could describe lots of claims. Even an incorrect statement about a matter of fact such as the nature of gravity or the role of certain hormones in the human body would be ignorant. Is this what you mean? If it is, then the most ignorant thing I've heard from another LGBT person was from an MtF who said that males should be given testosterone inhibitors at birth to reduce the instance of rape and violence in society.
     
  5. Thatoneguy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2012
    Messages:
    435
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ottawa Ontario
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Not exactly ignorant, I feel that word gets thrown around a lot.

    But
    "How do you know your gay if you haven't slept with some one of the same sex?"

    I hate when I hear people say that.
     
  6. Argentwing

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2012
    Messages:
    6,696
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Pretty sure the OP means just that, which is somebody making a statement that shows they know so little about their chosen topic that just bringing it up makes people facepalm.

    To the above, "How do you know if you haven't done it?" question, that is ignorant too, because it assumes that you have to participate to know for sure. Goes without saying that that is a total invention.
     
  7. Ianthe

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2011
    Messages:
    2,760
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Oregon
    Lots and lots of things that basically say I'm too femme to be gay. At least, that's the most ignorant crap directed at me.

    Once or twice I've heard lesbians basically imply that bisexuality is the same thing as being straight. It makes my brain hurt. And members of the lesbian choir I'm in who are in relationships with men are almost always presumed to be straight--even though they are actually almost always bisexual. :rolle: Seriously, after the fourth or fifth one you would think people would start to catch on, but no. There is only one confirmed straight choir member I know of, and her mom is in a relationship with a woman. People do not just join for no reason.

    One of my best friends in the choir is a bisexual woman, in a relationship with a man. She and I bonded over how other choir members keep invalidating us as queer women. It's really irritating.
     
  8. KTWK

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2013
    Messages:
    173
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Iowa
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Such a dumb question. Ohhhh, I don't know, I'm sure that sleeping with one will change my opinion!
     
  9. mwaffles

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2013
    Messages:
    174
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brasil
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Once a girl asked an advice for a lesbian. And she asked "how can I tell my parents that I'm bi?"

    The girl's answer: you don't even know WHAT you are. Choose a boy or a girl, that's what your parents will tell you, and they will tell you to choose a guy. And that's possible, because you are "bi".

    And the same girl used to label herself bissexual. That's so stupid. OMG.
     
  10. Pret Allez

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    6,785
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Preach it! I was talking with a dear feminist friend of mine, she was was complaining bitterly about how she's always read as straight because she's feminine and pansexual.

    Before I launch into my stuff, I just want to voice a political disagreement I have with the use of the word "ignorant." I feel like that does excessive charity to all the people who, after getting called on their bigotry and getting told to educate themselves, display those attitudes anyway or get defensive and resistant. That's the point where you cease to deal with mere "ignorance," and start to deal with hatred instead. I feel like we need to start calling a spade a space.

    And now, in no particular order, brutally uncharitable paraphrasings of sentiments actually expressed by real people on Empty Closets:

    By a few gay men on here: it's easier for lesbians. (Penis owners know everything. :rolle:slight_smile:
    By a few gay men on here: if you're born with a penis you're a guy. If you're born with a vagina, you're a girl. There's a reason a user who recently said that is no longer posting here.
    By a few gay men on here: bisexuals enjoy straight privilege. (No, we get homophobia plus gay rejection.)
    By a few pansexuals on here: we're more open-minded bisexuals who date trans* people (I guess I never crushed on two FtM/genderqueers then.)
    By a few bisexuals on here: everyone's a little bit bisexual. (Wishful thinking much?)
    By a few gay men on here: I'm into straight-acting guys. (Please just say masculine.)
    By a few gay men on here: Femmes attract too much negative attention. (Part of the brilliant strategy of "just being normal" to bring us all forward "as a community," except of course for trans* and gender variant people. But they are in no way actually a part of the community.)

    Take your pick.
     
    #10 Pret Allez, Feb 25, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2013
  11. Very wishful thinking! Being in a school full of attractive straight guys, I'd be swimming in romantic bliss if that was the case.
     
  12. Cthulhu

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2013
    Messages:
    796
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    GTA, Ontario
    This.
     
  13. MerBear

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2012
    Messages:
    3,056
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    east coast
    well i was going to say when someone told me pan sexuality is the same thing as bisexuality but im sure some may agree with that and its controversial

    but personally , its not to me.

    besides that....thats it
     
  14. Pret Allez

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    6,785
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    That should have been on my list.
     
  15. Willjarvis

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2012
    Messages:
    112
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I don't know, but there's good chance I said it. In my defence, I'd like to say that sometimes ignorance is just ignorance. Until I found this forum, I honestly didn't know what transexual meant, but I assumed I did. It hadn't come up in conversation so far. And when I was 15, I thought that the various orientations were purely sexual in nature, because romantic attraction was unfathomable to me at the time.
    That said, in some cases, I should have stopped and thought, realised that I didn't know what I was about to talk about and then done a little homework before saying any more. On the hand, saying a load of bull and getting called on it can really speed up one's learning process. Still, silently watching that happen to someone else can reap the same benefits without making a fool of oneself.
     
  16. stuffiscool

    stuffiscool Guest

    Well, besides discrimination across orientations and genders, a bisexual who was harassing other bisexuals who claimed that biphobia existed, and plenty of pansexual-identified people accusing bisexual-identified people of being fixated on gender and only open to dating cis men and women. Newsflah: Your experiences with being queer =/= everyone else's, just bcuz you're queer doesn't mean you're informed enough to speak about queer issues, and you can't define someone's sexuality for them especially when you're doing it in a deliberately condescending way.
     
  17. BornInTexas

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2013
    Messages:
    1,543
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Louisiana
    This. Two million freaking times. I hate it as well.
     
  18. kiltrout

    kiltrout Guest

    THIS!


    Also the: Are you sure you're gay? You've only kissed a guy so idk...
     
  19. photoguy93

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2012
    Messages:
    1,893
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    St. Olaf
    I think that not only is this a hard thing to judge, it's also very hard to have it be "universal." We all have different opinions.

    The hard part is that we can all argue until the cows come home that our way is harder. "I'm gay - so that means I'm living a tough life." "No, I'm bisexual! It's harder!" "No, I'm the queen of Antarctica! It's really hard!"

    Seriously - it's all difficult. Coming from a person who had his own thoughts about it, it's difficult to change. I used to think bisexuals had it really easy. Now, I see it a bit differently. I still think straight privilege plays a part, but I do see the very difficult sides. My views have changed.

    This argument WILL NEVER END. NEVER. It's a gigantic pissing match between people. Why don't we just help each other on the really difficult parts?
     
  20. TwoMethod

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2012
    Messages:
    412
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I have a friend who things every member of the LGBT community, except gay people, are disgusting.

    So for instance, he comes out with zingers like this: "I hate lesbians", "lesbians are disgusting", etc. Every time I get really annoyed with him.