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What if I never find anyone?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by orangeyskies, Feb 28, 2013.

  1. orangeyskies

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    I'm lesbian, and it seems like there are no other lesbians where I live. There's this girl I have a big crush on and she's everything I could ever hope for but also straight :eusa_doh: Working on running as far as I can from that situation.

    I'm just worried I'll never meet anyone ever who's right for me. And gay. I wish I could believe in "soul mates," but I don't. I believe in love though :slight_smile:
     
  2. photoguy93

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    It's definitely tough. I feel the exact same way. Most every guy I'm attracted to turns out straight - I feel forever stuck to being single. It's really distressing. However, I still have a small sliver of hope that I will find someone. If not, I have my own plans. I'm going to have a great job and have no problem having a child on my own if that seems to be how it's going to work out.

    I really don't want to say "ohhhh, you'll totally find someone soon!" because I've been told that SO many times. Just work on yourself and enjoy life!
     
  3. OMGWTFBBQ

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    This is my major concern. l feel like more settling happens than people talk about, especially with women. There aren't as many lesbians, you can move to NYC and it still isn't easy.

    Then, if l did settle, it'd be about the same as settling for a man with an awesome personality except after wasting much more time doing so and living in single desperation for years on end.
     
  4. BornInTexas

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    Orangey. (*hug*) Where did you get that mindset, you won't find someone who loves you like you love them? Also, straight crushes suck. I, as well as more than half of this forum or all, can tell you first-hand. I'm sure that you can too...

    Maybe you just need to find a new area? Maybe you just need to keep your eyes open and keep looking? I'm sure you'll find a lover, girlfriend, partner, wife, what-have-you in the future or near now. I believe in you! :grin:
     
  5. 4ever Hearth

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    I understand not believing in soulmates and I find it refreshing not flipping out over the thought "Did I leave her?, is she right infront of my face?, Did I just walk pass her?....Nah too -insert issue here-" Now unfortunately I can't tell you that those feelings don't hold weight because it's true, you might not find anyone. Especially if you don't put yourself out there, at your own pace, and hope for the best. To cope with the thoughts I would suggest you do what I did as a kid. I just put all my hopes in dreams "in" the moon, so whenever I look at it I remember why I am still fighting this battle of mine. I hope I helped some. :icon_bigg
     
  6. Oddish

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    In time. All in time.
    If I hadn't have gone to pride, I wouldn't have a girlfriend right now. Nobody in my school is openly gay, and I don't really care for anyone there anyway (in those ways).

    It'll come soon... perhaps when you're in college. Or when you go to LGBT groups, as you keep meeting new people and getting involved with the community and what have you. Don't give up yet, I highly doubt you'll never find anyone. Because I felt like that too and things did happen. Just focus on living life, not always looking for a relationship.

    Also, straight crushes are horrible. Hopefully you can overcome that one soon enough. :frowning2:
     
  7. greatwhale

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    I generally tend to find things when I stop looking, life is strange that way...
     
  8. prism

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    We all have/have had the same fear. Believing in love already puts you at an advantage. If you stay open to new experiences and opportunities, you'll find someone. :slight_smile:

    Plus, you may think you have an idea of who is "right" for you, but you'll be surprised who you fall in love with. I fell in love with a girl who was the complete opposite of what I had envisioned my perfect match to be.
     
  9. Maddy

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    There are so many posts I've made on EC talking about how I never thought anyone would ever be interested in me. I'm now in an awesome relationship. I think everyone gets scared they'll end up alone, and generally, it doesn't happen.
     
  10. 4ever Hearth

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    Screw my earlier post, I would like to back this one 100%. (!)
     
  11. myheartincheck

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    True true true! I'm so glad you found somebody special. (*hug*)
     
  12. FemCasanova

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    There are other lesbians out there, try changing arena/location. Are you looking in the right places? Where are the right places in your area, do a little research. Are most of the lesbians online? Do they venture the local queer bar? Are there any organizations, clubs or meet ups in your area? Sometimes it may be hard, but keep your chin up, they do exist. Chances are not very high you are the only lesbian in Virginia :wink:

    Wear a LGBT symbol, or something like it, so that you are visible in the crowds, maybe some cute lesbian will hit on you? It may take time, but I can almost promise you that unless you are hidden in a tower for 100 years, you will find someone!
    *hugs!*
     
  13. Winfield

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    i agree with everyone ....

    you know how when your looking for something you can never find it? and then when you dont it just appears out of nowhere? its kinda like that... dont go searching for it...when its time you will find the right girl for you...just focus on yourself, career/studies and the right girl will just turn up..
    Good Luck
     
  14. samelove

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    I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I'm currently going through a straight crush right now too, and it can be so, so tough. I also wonder where all of the lesbians are hiding in my area, and it can sometimes feel like I'm the only one around here. I do believe someone great is out there for us. I just try to keep hopeful and keep participating in events and activities I enjoy with the positive expectation that today could be the day that I meet miss right.
     
  15. therunawaybff

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    This is the way I am too. I wasn't even remotely interested in looking for a relationship when I met my boyfriend seven years ago. It was a chance introduction.

    And don't worry OP, maybe your perfect girl is just hiding in the closet, waiting to meet eyes with YOU at a chance encounter and then you'll be like, "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn girl." :grin:

    Just keep putting yourself out there. Eventually she'll get brave enough.
     
  16. jp16

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    Preach:thumbsup:...Love comes when you least expect it and smack you right in the face, but still don't stop looking:lol:
     
  17. Indeed. It seems looking is a part of the human compulsion though. Shame.
     
  18. poopie

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    I know that feeling. But I'm sure you will find someone great all you need to search s little harder . Try dating sites
     
  19. Love comes and goes. It's highly improbable that you'll never find anyone,
    it may not be now but one day you'll find someone who will love you as you would love them.

    You can wait for them to come to you or you could put yourself out there and see what that could lead to. Either way it will just take some bravery and some patience for it to happen.

    Don't worry about it too much and focus more on taking care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. :kiss:
     
  20. Bolin

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    That's basically how I got a boyfriend. :lol: I really hated the phrase "good things comes to those who wait", but it actually came true when I stopped stressing over not having anyone and just decided that it'd happen when it'd happen.