Self-Harm Scars?

I don't think they are a deal-breaker. But I would probably talk to them and persuade them to try not to do it anymore.

 

Today is actually national self-harm awareness day! I have a bunch of self-harm scars, but I haven't harmed in a year and a half. My ex girlfriend had several self-harm scars as well, so that kind of brought us together. I don't think it's a deal breaker for most people. However, many don't understand what it is like to self-harm or to have done so in the past. If the person really likes you, then they should be able to look past your scars!

 

I sure hope not. Though I haven't harmed in eight months now and they've faded a bit.
I actually spoke with a girl who thought that they were intriguing...
And my girlfriend asked about them, but it wasn't a problem.

I wouldn't have a problem with anyone who has them, either.

 

I would be concerned, more than anything if they were recent and I saw them on someone. I would still be piqued if I saw older/healing scars on someone since I don't like to ignore something that would have driven someone to that. Everyone's got their demons, visible or not.

It wouldn't drive me off of someone that I was attracted to, if that's what you mean (Within moderation, if your on meth/crack/nasty stuff, etc and you refuse to stop or get help even with support that can get pretty bad and I won't want to be there when it goes bad).

I've even got a few nasty scars around from injuries, they're not real visible but I don't like talking about it so I understand that there can be some hesitation.

 

I might as well come clean...I posted the same thread in anonymous a few hours ago. I'm still cutting, so I have new wounds and healing wounds and scarred wounds. My question was essentially the same, but I added what if the person you were attracted to was still self-harming...deal breaker then???

 

Of course not, it just shows how much the person sunned someone who will understand them... And right now I'm seriously considering making some new scars.... :/

 

It's not a deal breaker to me either. I still have some scars from when I self-harmed. I still battle with it every now and then, but I haven't harmed for a while.

It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me if the person still self harmed as well. I would be willing to help the person in any way that I could.

 

I have a couple on my arms, and I always were short sleeves and nobody notices

 

I dont think theyd be a deal breaker if they were old scars. However if they were still cutting id question dating them

 

They aren't a deal breaker. I might ask them about it as long as I try not to trigger them and do what I can to help them stay clean.

 

It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me, as long as they aren't still doing it.
I've got scars myself but they weren't from self harm

 

the scars themselves? no. but if still actively self-harming, then yes, that's a dealbreaker for me.

 

I guess I'm not shocked; I can see why actively self-harming could be a problem. I am glad healed scars won't put anyone off. That givese hope that when I get a grip on this I will be able to find someone.

 

Not a deal breaker, my ex had some scars. Also because it would be hypocritical as I have scars and frequently end up self harming :/.

 

It would not be a deal breaker at all. I have self-harmed countless times and I know how they must be feeling or felt.

 

It would be a deal breaker for me if the person still harmed herself, because of a friend of mine who did it frequently for a year while we lived together. It was a very difficult situation, where every attempt I made at helping her, simply made things worse, until I could not handle the situation anymore and moved out. She stopped at some point afterwards, and we are still good friends. Old scars, not a problem! All scars all over your arms, not a problem either. I wouldn`t find it unattractive or have problems with it, I have a few myself. But actively harming, it would have been a deal breaker because I am not strong enough mentally to watch someone I love hurt themselves when I can`t do anything about it. It hurt to see it back then, and it would hurt as hell now.

*Big hug*

Don`t get me wrong, I don`t judge anyone for doing it, I did it myself. I just wouldn`t be strong enough to support a GF struggling with it.

 

This for me as well.

 

For me, definite deal breaker. I only really get on with people that are really easy going and 'down to earth'. Scars imply some sort of emotional instability. I won't enter a relationship if there will be a chance that I'll have to do emotions and romance and all of that.

 

if yr gonna turn down someone only b/c they self harm or have done so in the past yr a horrible person