I have a question about the sexually active gay male community, is it considered socially acceptable to reveal whether one is a bottom or top in the relationship to people outside said relationship? Perfectly ok? Embarrassing and unfair to your partner? The cause of alien invasions? I realize this is an awkward question, but I was just kind of curious. And no I am not sexually active.
I would consider it personal and yes, unfair to your partner. I don't know if that is "what's done" but common sense and an archaic sense of decorum would seem to be the best guides in this regard.
I think this is something you have to agree on with your particular partner. In general, if you aren't sure your partner would be okay with you sharing, don't.
I personally would think it would be a bit weird to introduce yourself as "Hi, I'm SupremeEmperor and this is my boyfriend. I'm the top." But you'd have to talk to your partner and see how they feel about revealing that sort of thing - but I don't think it's really something that others need to know (and may not want to know), is it?
I didn't mean in an introduction. Just if it comes up (people talk about sex and I just thought in the gay community this may come up). Anyway I guess I agree with you.
As far as I'm concerned, it is no one's business what I do in the bedroom. There is no reason to mention such things.
Obviously, it depends on the context of the conversation and the type of relationship you have with the person (or people) you're discussing things with... Let's say you're in a group of close friends who you normally talk about sex stuff with - where everyone is comfortable when it comes to sharing stuff. Yeah, I think it's fine. Of course, what is "fine" also depends on your boyfriend. A lot of gay men have issues with being labeled a bottom, or having it known that they bottom. A lot of it seems to come from negative stereotypes from straights who consider a bottom in a "submissive feminine" role. Argh... this is a huge rant for me, and it's... so...very... hard... to... restrain... myself...
This. You should really talk about your partner about it and its something you both should agree on. When I get with good friends sometimes the topic of sex comes up, and all of us are totally open with each other. Specially with friends that are also gay, everyone is sort of curious for various reasons. Its also fun to learn what other couples do and how they handle the whole sex thing.
I think it very much depends on the person and the situation in which you tell. In some arena`s it can be just fine, but it might not be something the person is comfortable with sharing when you`re at a club or something. But my GF talk to her friends about sex and stuff, so I assume she talks about our roles as well, me being the sub, and it is completely fine with me. I don`t do it, because I personally am not to comfortable talking about sex (when it`s not through a screen) with my friends. So it would depend, and you would have to get the green light for it first, I think. It`s fair to ask the partner what is okay information to share with friends and what is not.
lol i find this funny.... just trying to imagine if people did introduce themselves like this... especially to the "rentz" lolzzz
I'm 100% bottom, but I'd rather keep that between me and my partner (and everyone on EC). I don't know why, but I feel like the bottom is the weaker/inferior of the two (But I wouldn't change places) and I'd rather not be seen as the weaker partner.
I’m new to this and still coming to terms with discovering I’m gay later in life. From what I have read so far it would seem that not all gay couples engage in anal sex, so asking a strangers preference for top or bottom may make them feel awkward. Sale Gay Guy
I don't kiss and tell. Not much, anyway. That being said, I'm versatile. Sort of a cock, paper, scissors thing.
Im not one to share details about my (basically non existant) sex life, so I dont know if id be in the posistion to be asked that anyway. I dont talk about sex to my friends really. I certainly wouldnt answer a stranger, even less likely to answer a straight stranger.
If the people in the relationship conform to single-sex roles, and someone asks, and they're comfortable with sharing, it's cool yo.
I consider that pretty personal. I share it with friends if we're really close and discussing sex...and 'd expect them to share some details about THEIR sex lives, too. Occasionally, someone will ask who I don't feel close enough to share tat information with. Since it's nearly always a male, I just respond "Well, come to the back room with me and let's find out, shall we?" Lex
