So I am very very in the closet, mostly because of my family and old friends but partly because I'm just trying to figure my shit out before I broadcast it to the world. I have a massive crush on this amazing guy that I see around and used to be sort of friends with. Word on the street is that he is gay, and even though he is hilariously out of my league I can't help but fall hard for him. I'm not really interested in a very sexual relationship, I'm still a virgin and don't really want to have sex unless it is with someone I love and have been with for a while. So I don't know what to do! I like this guy and he might be open to pursuing something but I'm not ready to come out of the closet just to take a shot at a hot guy who probably doesn't want a closeted prude. But he is so hot.
It will be difficult to have a relationship that is healthy is one person is still in the closet. It will be hard to show affections, go on dates, and do "couple" things if you have to hide behind doors for all of it. I would just slow down, start making strides to come out and see where this leads
Hi Trask, and welcome to EC (seeing that you've only joined for a few days, i presume) From the information that you've given us from your original post, here are a few key points: - You are not out yet, with at least part of the reason being you are still trying to sort out your issues with your sexuality. - You have gotten word that he is gay- but is there hard proof that he is? - You are not ready to come out of the closet. - Your primary reason for being attracted to him is because he is hot. Now, I'm not saying you should just give up, since it extremely hard to do especially when one is crushing so hard on another man, but at the same time I reckon it would be good to know more about this person. Are you still friends with him? If not, why not try to strike up a conversation and learn more about him, and him about you? It would also be a good way to test the waters and see if he truly is gay or not. As for having a relationship and being in a closet, i don't see a strong correlation between the two, and I have heard stories about how getting into a relationship can help a person sort out their doubts on sexuality and eventually have a courage to come out. However on the flip-side, I am sure no person on a healthy relationship, especially if one of the partners are already out, to want their relationship to always be muffed up and be kept in the shadows. It's not healthy for both participants within it, and eventually one may have to be confronted with the choice of either letting the relationship see the light of day, or end it. For now, I would say get to know him better first; then decide whether you want to continue pursuing a relationship with him. Sometimes life brings us surprises, is all that I can say . Good Luck
I kept a relationship going strong for around 5 years. She was out but I'm in the closet. We are no longer together but it had nothing to do with me being in the closet. Having a relationship in the closet is possible but I don't think many people accomplish it. I'm probably the exception to the rule
