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Bf/Gf..... Partner?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by MixedNutz, Mar 6, 2013.

  1. MixedNutz

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    This was a discussion we were having...

    Me and the bf started using the term "partner" off and On.

    Which made me ask EC...

    At what point does a bf/gf become a partner?

    Is there a time period?

    Is it living together?

    Or does it have to mean joint bank accts?

    My thinking was it comes down to the maturity of the relationship, and when both parties feels comfortable enough.
     
  2. AKTodd

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    Personally, I would tend to think of "partner' as kicking in when the relationship has been going on long enough as to feel that it's moved beyond the 'dating' stage to something more permanent. So probably living together and sharing finances (although I don't personally recommend joint accounts across the board - we have one mainly so we can rapidly transfer funds to each other from our personal accounts - otherwise we keep our finances separate).

    I suppose it might be considered the mental equivalent of 'common law marriage' given that we don't have the option of any other in most places (and no options at all in Virginia).

    My partner also tends to refer to or introduce me as 'his other half'.

    I wouldn't say that there's any hard and fast rule, just whenever the two of you feel that you're comfortable with it. Assuming you feel any need to change terminology from BF/GF or whatever you're using in the first place:slight_smile:
     
  3. My girlfriend and I are serious. Eventually we hope to get married. We've talked about this. I'm going to be with her for life. But technically we're not engaged or married.

    So, when I'm in conversations where I want to tell people that my relationship is serious and committed I use partner, because using 'girlfriend' in those situations makes it sound juvenile and transient.

    So, I'd say whenever you're both serious about your commitment to one another.

    Otherwise, use whatever word you feel most comfortable with. In the end, it gets the point across either way.
     
  4. therunawaybff

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    I say boyfriend, I think partner.

    I'm not used to saying either one. I've never even said them out loud.

    I don't know which one I'll use in person. We're both closeted, so it's not like I've ever had to make introductions.
     
  5. I think it has to do with the amount of trust you hold for each other and how far you are willing to compromise for the other. A partner is someone who would stand with you for your sake and they share a deep connection with you after being around you for sometime: they understand you.
     
  6. Winfield

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    bf/gf is just a childish way of saying it...

    Partner is more mature and professional... all my straight mates introduce their gf's as partners and vice versa..
     
  7. Minx

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    *ponders* I think it's a mix of all 3, years together, living together, managing finances together - constitutes something beyond a relaxed relationship.

    To me, anyways. :grin:
     
  8. redstormrising

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    I think you've got a pretty good feel for it. I don't think there's any hard and fast timeline, or a checklist of criteria you have to meet - I think it just implies that you've reached a point where you both expect some permanence to the relationship. I really disliked the term "partner" initially, as I thought it sounded too businesslike. But there came a point where referring to my other half as my girlfriend started feeling like it did not adequately convey her significance in my life, or the fact that this isn't just some fleeting thing.
     
  9. greatwhale

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    According to Webster's (which bills itself as the "closest we can get, in America, to the voice of Authority") a partner is "one that shares in the possession or enjoyment of something with another" - we can call this closer to the heart...

    Further down a partner is "one held to resemble such a partner in having with others joint rights and responsibilities (as in an enterprise)" - we can call this closer to the head...

    Partners, it seems to me, have crossed a bridge into joint territory, with both their hearts and their heads...
     
  10. MixedNutz

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    I totally agree with everyone.

    The reason it was up for discussion is because a friend had been dating a guy for 4 months and said he was in love, called him his partner/husband, and month number 5 they broke up. I guess everyone has their own definitions but that was ridiculous to me.
     
  11. greatwhale

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    I agree, a classic case of seeking a "relationship" over and above wanting to just be with that one person, it's too much pressure and the whole thing collapses.
     
  12. cassexy

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    well i have both bf and gf, but not steady ones
     
  13. FemCasanova

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    Yeah, I wouldn`t be comfortable calling my GF by the term "partner", until enough time and effort has been spent in the relationship to the point where it feels definitely long-term. I mean, 4-5 months, that seems a bit short to me. Also, I have the weird notion that partner, that`s for someone you live with, or engaged to. If I move in with my GF, which won`t happen until we`ve at least been together for a year, then in my head I would start classifying her as my partner. Because then I feel the relationship has reached that level of maturity and commitment. It is still committed, monogamous and serious even at this stage, but partner signals something else altogether for me. If I began calling her a partner after 4 months, it would feel awkward. Feeling a bit anxious thinking about it. Sigh. Partner. It sounds a little scary. Almost as scary as wife, lol!
     
  14. MapleCross

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    For me partner means some level of real commitment. This obviously takes time and each couple will make their own choice about this, but I think it has to reach the level where you are not just dating or going out with each other, but intend at some point to set up home together and share the journey of life together.

    This will be different for each couple.
     
  15. June Cleaver

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    Well we use "Husband" and "Wife", and he calls me "Babe" and I call him "Hunny". Boyfriend sounds to me like casual dating, and partner
    *page-breaking character string removed by admin*
     
    #15 June Cleaver, Mar 7, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 7, 2013
  16. Rogue

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    June Baby.... you're so right xD


    jkn lol ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥