Has anyone here lost a parent?

Yes, my mother died about five years ago. It was very tough for me to handle, and I don't really have much advice on how to do so, I'm afraid.

 

I haven't personally lost a parent, but my husband lost his dad just a couple years ago, and the pain I could hear in his voice when he called me crying made it difficult for me to not start bawling, too. I can't directly relate, but listening to him made me think how tough it would be if my mom or dad died. Not the same, but there it is.

 

Hey bud,

sorry to hear about your loss...

(i dont normally speak about it but coz were strangers and im not saying it face to face
you dont have to see me trying to type this)

my old man passed away last year in September... he was like my best friend. being an only child my dad always had my back.. sometimes we'd gang up on my mom. My mom and i never got along. so therefore my Dad would always be the person i go to for advise and then my best mate etc...

Since then my mom and i never celebrated any holidays.. thanksgiving, christmas and my birthday...its really hard man, i always think about him and even now i call his mobile just to listen to his voicemail so i can hear his voice... (lol this is really hard.. if you knew me, you'd know im not the soft type but tears are falling just typing this....)

now its just me and mom i find it really hard, coz now she looks at me for everything..ive taken on dads role and its so hard coz id always rely on them for everything..finance, shelter, everything!!! and now i feel lost..im just thankful to God for my best mate... he's been there for everything and thats why he's the only one who know about me being gay and all...

now when im stuck on something or need to plan something i always sit there and thinkg what would my dad do... and then i'd call his mobile just to hear his voice so it can reassure me that everything would be ok...

his 1yr is coming up and well...

sorry i cant finish my post... as hard as it is i wanted to let you and other people out there that somewhere in the world there's someone who is going through what your going through ... be strong bro and take care

 

My Dad died of Lung Cancer he was only 46, it hit me really bad at the time, but time is a great healer, it does get better, you never forget & you never stop loving them or talking about them (*hug*)

 

This is one of my biggest regrets - that we didn't get to know each other more as people. Most of the people on this site are probably too young to appreciate this, but it's something to keep in mind. I learned some things about him after he died and wished we could have talked about them. I don't get along with my mother and I will never discuss those things with her. I already know that how she felt about many of those things. I'm very much like him and love having him be a part of me. It's been a little over 10 years for me - my father was relatively young when we lost him.

 

Yeah, I was 2 when my mom died of Ovarian Cancer. I have no memory of her, but I do have a tape she recorded for me right before she died.

 

I lost my mother 8 years ago to ovarian cancer. My husband also lost his father when he was 16. I still cry when something reminds me of her.

 

have you ever read Maus and Maus II by Art Spiegelman? it's very relevant to your pain, and i think sharing spiegelman's experience with may help.

if not, well, they're still pretty awesome graphic novels.

 

My dad died of lung cancer, I think 4 years ago?? ( I know I should remember )

To be honest, it didn't really affect me too much, we were ok with each other, but nothing special.

I didn't feel one bit of sadness, or even shed one tear.. until I held his hand on his last night.. I fucking cried, because it was really the FIRST time I held his hand ever in my life, and the last.

I cried a few times after the years, just randomly thinking about him, but the one I remember the most is when I went to visit his grave for the first time by myself and I couldn't find him, I felt like a lost child.

 

My father died about 13years ago so I really didn't get to know him I have one memory of him, and I'm not even sure if it's real or an old dream haha. But my mother does that too and sometimes I'll ask questions about him but most of the time when I do it's really emotional. It really sucks and it's completely not fair but I feel like you will never lose the connection with your father, people usually write things down when they think of something that they want to remember, why not write down things you admired about your father, things you missed, what you would tell him if he were here etc. that way you won't forget anything and you still have that certain thing you do that revolves around him and you'll still have that "connection" (*hug*)(does that make sense I have no idea, I hope it did)

 

No, fortunately.. but I have come close to losing my mum twice (all due to cancer).

When she was diagnosed with breast cancer the first time, I remember sitting at her bedside, holding her hand and repetitively muttered, "It'll all get better. I promise. Everything on my own grave that you're going to get better." I hoped like Hell that I would never have to say those words ever again, and that she would never have to go through it again. Alas, about a week ago it came back.. no less.. but she's fine. But I had to repeat it again, and I was sicken with nerves that something was going to happen.

I'm really sorry to hear of everyone's loses here. My condolences.

 

Yes. My dad passed away 10 years ago in... 16 days. ._.

I honestly feel horrible at times because I can't remember what he sounded like, and I can't remember what he looked like unless I look at a picture.

All I can remember is the type of person he was and that it was good.

There's always going to be a "I want to see my dad again." in me, but you can't let it control you. Otherwise it just sends you down a bad path.

 

I haven't personally lost a parent, but my older half-sister lost her mother a few years ago to cancer. I never met her mother, but I imagine it was pretty difficult for her to get over that, since she grew up with her and not our dad.

I don't even think I know anyone else in my family that has lost a parent at a young age. I'd say that is a fortunate thing.

 

My heart goes out to all of you who have lost parents, especially those of you who were close and had strong bonds. There is nothing that beats the security, love and nurturing that comes from strong family ties. I was fortunate to grow up in that type of family also. Both my parents died many years ago. I still miss them and think of them often. They were together over fifty years and were part of one of the toughest generations this country ever had. Their generation lived through the Great Depression, two World Wars, the Korean War and then watched their children die in Viet Nam.

 

I lost my dad to alcoholism almost 7 years ago (7 years on March 31st). He had Bipolar type I and was very sick. He refused treatment and ignored my pleas for him to stop drinking. It was very painful for me because we were very close. He was my hero. I started thinking about him a lot recently. I can't say that it gets easier because for me, it hasn't.

 

I lost my father 1.5 years ago while I was living in Thailand. We were very close. I hadn't seen him in 4 years so he came to visit me, and had a heart attack in my guest house while I was at work. I got to him before he passed but the ambulance we were in didn't make it to the hospital in time. He died while the EMTs were giving him CPR on the side of the road. After that I ended up quitting my job and moving to South America for no apparent reason.

My life has been very strange without him. He was the kindest, most caring, sincere and gentle person. His passing was even harder for me because many people who relied on his wisdom and judgement lost him so suddenly too. He was a clinical social worker and my heart broke for all of the young boys he was rehabilitating and the students he mentored more than anything. I also have a foster sister (and best friend) who had been seriously abused as a child before we took her in and I just can't imagine the shock she must have felt when she heard the news from my mother. He was the only man she had ever trusted; I think his death was a greater loss to her than I.

This is probably the most I've talked about him since he died. I didn't speak at his funeral in Thailand or fly back to Canada to attend it there. The whole experience rendered me very speechless.