Love whatever that means

Love is the most wonderful and awful feeling in the world.

 

I have loved 2 men so far in 22 years. 1st died in 1996 and I still cry over him so if it is true love it never fades. Durring our 2 1/2 years as a couple it grew stronger by the day. My 2nd is my current husband. The effect is like this; I cry tears of joy over just the thought of him sometimes. My emotions hit real high, almost like a drug high and rolercoaster around. That part can be a nightmare. I find doing even the littlest chore I do for him a joy rather than a burden. Every day he looks more handsome to me in some way I had not noticed before. The air has electricity in it when we are around eachother. He pointed that out to me just this morning, but I was thinking the same thought just earlier. I am in tune with the one I love. Like the other day he was at work and wanted tacos for lunch, but the crew went to Subway. (I almost never fix tacos) Around 1:00 that day I suddenly thought of tacos and immediatly went shopping to get what was needed and fixed them for dinner. When he got home and saw them he was yet amazed again. Because he says I read his mind all the time, as I have a instinct when he needs or wants something and it works both ways. We can't seem to have a secret from the other for long. With my 1st love the connection was nowhere near this strong even after 2+ years of being a couple. Also sex has this extra high when you love the person too. Well I hope you find it some day! June

 

I think it means different things for different people.

I've only been in love once(god do I miss it). I do remember the typical notions: Alittle giddy, When they touched me, my skin warmed up like I was under the best blanket ever, I couldn't wait to see and talk to them, etc.

Now the unique thing about it was I became Extremely Protective(not over-bearing). Usually i'm hesitant to speak my mind due to always having been one to over-think just about any and every situation. But when it came to him, I was different. For example: My love and a teacher got into an "exchange" of words and my teacher referenced a situation where my love's father had embarassed him at school. I saw this hurt expression on his face and intervened. I think I even went as far to tell the teacher she went too far by referencing such a situation. Of course, I got in trouble for it but when I saw him later that day and he asked me why I did what I did, I told him I had no clue honestly. I just chucked it up to part of me not having liked to see him embarassed and degraded like that. Of course he then smiled that amazing smile of his at me and I turned into a giddy little nine year old. :lol:

Overall, my experience with love made me feel like I was alive. Even though I had him, nothing else changed. My situation was still bleak, I was still beating back my father's mistake and I was still coming to terms with myself. But when he was there, it wasn't that the other stuff didn't matter. It was more so "If I have to deal with all of this constantly coming at me 24/7 yet I only get to be with him and experience this "euphoric" peace for a couple of hours during the day. I'll take it." But I won't lie, when it's over, that shit hurts something unimaginable. Never did I think I would know paintears like that especially at such a young age(14-15).

So i'll co-sign with Cupid Boy, Love is the most Wonderful and Awful feeling in the World.

 

Extracts from: What Is Love? What's love?

Erich Fromm and others have written some very profound things about love.

Here's what it isn't:

This is how many people approach a relationship. Consciously or unconsciously, they believe love is a sensation (based on physical and emotional attraction) that magically, spontaneously generates when Mr. or Ms. Right appears. And just as easily, it can spontaneously degenerate when the magic "just isn't there" anymore. You fall in love, and you can fall out of it.

The key word is passivity. Erich Fromm, in his famous treatise "The Art of Loving," noted the sad consequence of this misconception: "There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love." (That was back in 1956 ― chances are he'd be even more pessimistic today.)

So what is love ― real, lasting love?

Love is the attachment that results from deeply appreciating another's goodness.

The word "goodness" may surprise you. After all, most love stories don't feature a couple enraptured with each other's ethics. ("I'm captivated by your values!" he told her passionately. "And I've never met a man with such morals!" she cooed.) But in her study of real-life successful marriages (The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts), Judith Wallerstein reports that "the value these couples placed on the partner's moral qualities was an unexpected finding."

What we value most in ourselves, we value most in others. We see ourselves as good (hence our need to either rationalize or regret our wrongdoings). So, too, we seek goodness in others. Nice looks, an engaging personality, intelligence, and talent (all of which count for something) may attract you, but goodness is what moves you to love.

Love is a Choice

If love comes from appreciating goodness, it needn't just happen ― you can make it happen. Love is active. You can create it. Just focus on the good in another person (and everyone has some). If you can do this easily, you'll love easily.

But creating love is just the beginning, the hard work of deepening love, actively, is in the art of giving:

True giving, as Erich Fromm points out, is other-oriented, and requires four elements. The first is care, demonstrating active concern for the recipient's life and growth. The second is responsibility, responding to his or her expressed and unexpressed needs (particularly, in an adult relationship, emotional needs). The third is respect, "the ability to see a person as he [or she] is, to be aware of his [or her] unique individuality," and, consequently, wanting that person to "grow and unfold as he [or she] is."

These three components all depend upon the fourth, knowledge. You can care for, respond to, and respect another only as deeply as you know him or her.

Opening Yourself to Others

The effect of genuine, other-oriented giving is profound. It allows you into another person's world and opens you up to perceiving his or her goodness. At the same time, it means investing part of yourself in the other, enabling you to love this person as you love yourself.

Because deep, intimate love emanates from knowledge and giving, it comes not overnight but over time ― which nearly always means after making a commitment such as marriage or other long-term relationship. The intensity many couples feel before marrying is usually great affection boosted by commonality, chemistry, and anticipation. These may be the seeds of love, but they have yet to sprout. On the wedding day, emotions run high, but true love should be at its lowest, because it will hopefully always be growing, as committed partners give more and more to each other.

....Complicated and full of traps, love is, but the key point here is that it is NOT something that happens to you, it is something you must create and CHOOSE, actively rather than passively.

 

Love is a feeling. Its butterflies when you think of him/her. Its wanting to be together...more than you are. Its someone who opens themselves up to you and you to them. Its someone who makes you smile when you think of them. And you get v e r y excited at the thought of holding, kissing, having sex with them. Its confidence in each other, trusting in each other, being honest with each other.

But in order to be alive and stay alive -- its way more than that. It means you're considerate, thoughtful, respectful. You send them texts to say ILU or you're sexy and hot. You make a heart in bathroom mirror when its fogged up so they see it when they get out of the shower. You bring flowers. You get flowers. You know how to tickle them -- just enough. You make their favorite dinner. You go see a movie you don't want to, but s/he does. More than anything -- you believe in him/her, you build them up. When the day sucks -- you're especially kind.

Love is nothing wthout the actions to back it up. And its f**king awesome beyond belief.

 

it means different things to different people I suppose .to me Its someone who makes you happy someone you feel comfortable being with . I have been in love with two guys not at once BTW one was a crush with a guy at 17 he was my first real sex but he admitted its just a bit of fun for him sort of killed it there and then . last year I had a 6 month relationship learned allot with him also did allot allot of shaging . but he told a few lies that sort of got bigger & bigger so I ended it .

 

Buttersafe » Have You Ever

for me, love is an intense closeness that is beyond friendship. I wouldn't necessarily say it is romantic. I love my two best friends, one of whom is my ex. Both in very similar, but very different ways. Ambiguous I know but what can I say, you can't really explain love. (read the comic)

 

Love is something you can lose yourself in. Love isn't always kind. You'll know it when you see it. I have to add, love is fearless.