How old were you when...

Several years.

19.

20.

26.

26.

I've only come out to one person.

 

1. How long did the questioning phase last for you, if there was one.
Probably a couple of months, I can't recall the exact months, but I think it was around when I just turned 12.

2. How old were you when you first realized you might not be straight.
12 years old.

3. How old were you when you knew for sure you weren't straight (the moment you said to yourself: yeah, I'm not straight/I'm bi/I'm gay, ok."
12 years old, nearly 13.

4. How old were you when you actually accepted that.
Same as above, 12 nearly 13 years old.

5. How old were you when you came out to the first person.
13 years old

6. How old were you when you came out to several or most people.
Also 13 years old, I came out on facebook, because that was the only way everyone would be able to know at once.

 

I didn't have a questioning phase.

As long as I can remember. I would guess around 5 though.

I think when I first heard the word 'gay', which was when I was about 5 in school.

I accepted it straight away. (no pun intended)
My family is very liberal, and I was aware it didn't matter.

13 (Two close friends)

16 (Totally public and open - everyone)

Keep in mind I did keep my coming out on hold until my last year of school. I just thought it would be easier. Avoid the stress it could have caused. I decided to tell two of my closest friends earlier. Just to help me get through the years in the closet at school.

 

1. Years...
2. Maybe 20 or so? I was just rather unaware of sexuality and desires before that.
3. Oh, I fought that for a long time. 31
4. Ya know, I don't think I really have, yet. I keep waiting for that moment...but so far it's not working for me.
5. 32- it was my therapist at the time; I only did it in the interest of full disclosure. I did not want to.
6. 34- just within the last few months. I started the year with only 2 knowing, now, except for one person, all of the important people know...so about 10. Once I tell the last person, I think I'm going to stop coming out for a while. It's stressful...

It's been a life-altering, stressful last couple years...oh my.

 

1. How long did the questioning phase last for you, if there was one.

Still ongoing. :lol:

2. How old were you when you first realized you might not be straight.

16

3. How old were you when you knew for sure you weren't straight (the moment you said to yourself: yeah, I'm not straight/I'm bi/I'm gay, ok."

Between 18 and 20.

4. How old were you when you actually accepted that.

23.

5. How old were you when you came out to the first person.

Working on it!

6. How old were you when you came out to several or most people.

I haven't even decided when/if I will for alot of them.

 

There really wasn't one in the 'traditional' sense, I think. Never had any attraction to anybody until college and my first experience with a guy. I did take a break for about a year but that had more to do with the stress of the possibility of having any sort of sexual relationship with anybody, not with guys in particular.

19

21

21 - knowing for sure and accepting it happened all at the same time.

21

21

 

16 years but not constant the whole time. A lot of questioning and then ignoring. Pretty much constant questioning from approximately ages 15-18.

15 or 16. I don't remember what caused me to start questioning at that time though since I don't remember having a crush on a girl at that age.

31 years old though I'm still going back and forth on how sure I am.

I'll let you know when it happens.

31 years old.

Not yet.

 

1. How long did the questioning phase last for you, if there was one.

Didn't really have much active questioning - maybe part of a year when I had some thoughts. I noticed things, but didn't make the connection.

2. How old were you when you first realized you might not be straight.

19

3. How old were you when you knew for sure you weren't straight (the moment you said to yourself: yeah, I'm gay, ok."

20

4. How old were you when you actually accepted that.

Almost immediately, because it made sense and I was no longer confused.

5. How old were you when you came out to the first person.

20 - as soon as possible after I figured it out for myself

6. How old were you when you came out to several or most people.

20, probably. It was all done over a short time. There were very few people I told after the initial period of telling everyone possible. I never told my brother or relatives other than my parents and one uncle (because he was gay).

When I started dating men 8 years later, there didn't seem to be much point in telling other family members I was bi. I told my father I was still interested in women. I also made sure to tell friends and acquaintances because I didn't want anyone thinking I was straight.

 

I didn't question my bisexuality at all honestly. I've always just kind of known that I was bi. The one that's been hard for me is the trans* issue which I denied for over 5 or 6 six years when the problems started.

I was 13 when I knew I wasn't straight. I've always kind of known in the back of my head I was trans* though.

Again 13 when I knew I was bi, and 15 when I knew I was trans* (but couldn't accept it).

13 and 18

13 and 18

Uhm... if this site counts as several people then, yesterday. But nobody I really know personally.

 

1. How long did the questioning phase last for you, if there was one.

1-2 years

2. How old were you when you first realized you might not be straight.

hard to say...I first said I was gay when I was 8...then I thought about it briefly around 11/12, and again when I was 15,

I don't know how to really answer that question because it wasn't really something that took hold you know? I'd think I might be "gay", but then I'd kind of move on from it until it came back up...

3. How old were you when you knew for sure you weren't straight (the moment you said to yourself: yeah, I'm not straight/I'm bi/I'm gay, ok."
18

4. How old were you when you actually accepted that.
19

5. How old were you when you came out to the first person.
18

6. How old were you when you came out to several or most people.
hasn't happened

 

1. How long did the questioning phase last for you, if there was one.
It lasted about a year.

2. How old were you when you first realized you might not be straight.
When I first realized? I was 13 and a half. I think that I had certain subconscious suspicions before then, though...

3. How old were you when you knew for sure you weren't straight (the moment you said to yourself: yeah, I'm not straight/I'm bi/I'm gay, ok."
14 and a half. That was actually just in early November. Not that long ago.

4. How old were you when you actually accepted that.
About 14. I accepted being gay before I was sure that I was.

5. How old were you when you came out to the first person.
14 and a half. I came out to them about a month or two before knowing for sure.

6. How old were you when you came out to several or most people.
14 3/4. That was about 3 weeks ago.

 

How long did the questioning phase last for you, if there was one.—. I'd say mine lasted about a year.

How old were you when you first realized you might not be straight?—. About 11.

How old were you when knew for sure you weren't straight (the moment you said to yourself: yeah, I'm not straight/I'm bi/I'm gay, ok."— probably 12 or 13.

How old were you when you actually accepted that.— 14 (this year)

How old were you when you came out to the first person.— 14 (also this year)

How old were you when you came out to several or most people.— I haven't done so yet.

 

1 - Umm, not too long. I kind of just...put it all together. That's typical for me, though. It just kind of hit.
2. 6th grade, so about 11 years old. But it wasn't anything big - I just started looking at guys differently.
3. I was about 14. I know that's 3 years more than when it started, but I just didn't put much thought into it.
4. I was fine then. It kind of came back because a few years later, I started not being so ok with it. Now...eh, it's fine! I am me.
5. 14
6. 15, I think. Not quite sure.

 

1. How long did the questioning phase last for you, if there was one.
I never really questioned, it just came naturally and I went with it.

2. How old were you when you first realized you might not be straight.
Well...being that I'm in a female body I thought I was "straight" but then I realized that I'm not really a female, but a man, so I'm gay.

3. How old were you when you knew for sure you weren't straight (the moment you said to yourself: yeah, I'm not straight/I'm bi/I'm gay, ok."
Well I had my first crush on a guy in the 4th grade. So however old I was then.

4. How old were you when you actually accepted that.
Accepted being gay? Always. I love it. Being Tans* it wasn't till last year.

5. How old were you when you came out to the first person.
19

6. How old were you when you came out to several or most people.
20

 

1. How long did the questioning phase last for you, if there was one.
It actually hasn't occurred to me to question it. I operated on the idea that I liked "people" and fell for the societally defined "default" setting. But after evaluating "how I feel," and "what I want," it was sort of an epiphany...
2. How old were you when you first realized you might not be straight.
23
3. How old were you when you knew for sure you weren't straight (the moment you said to yourself: yeah, I'm not straight/I'm bi/I'm gay, ok."
24
4. How old were you when you actually accepted that.
24
5. How old were you when you came out to the first person.
24
6. How old were you when you came out to several or most people.
25

 

1. From about 12-17
2. Probably 13, wanted to go see Equus to see Daniel Radcliffe naked.
3. 17, had just started college
4. 18
5. 18, my mom didn't go well, went back in the closet. Came out to therapist 7 months later and then again to my mom 9 months after the first time.
6. 18, almost 19. Everyone at college knows and a handful of people back home do

For me most of the big stuff happened between 7/2011 and 10/2012.

 

2 years.

12 years old.

14 years old.

19~20 years old.

21 years old.

21~22 years old.

 

1. How long did the questioning phase last for you, if there was one.
From 11 until now..sort of.

2. How old were you when you first realized you might not be straight.
I was 11 years old.

3. How old were you when you knew for sure you weren't straight (the moment you said to yourself: yeah, I'm not straight/I'm bi/I'm gay, ok."
About 13 years old, I believe so? Though I became a tad locked on when I first found out that I might like women at 11 -- I just went with that idea and knew for sure I wasn't straight. But my feelings became more satisfying and intense at 13.

4. How old were you when you actually accepted that.
I accepted it by the time I knew something seemed fishy.

5. How old were you when you came out to the first person.
14 years old.

6. How old were you when you came out to several or most people.
14 years old.

 

For me:
1. I had some thoughts when I was a teenager, but didn't really focus on it. When I was in my late 20s, I was totally obsessed for a couple years.
2. I definitely had an inkling in high school, but then it got sort of squashed, and didn't emerge again until my late 20's (despite the fact that I never dated men).
3. When I knew I wasn't straight, or when I knew I was gay? I'm not sure I ever really thought I was straight, I just sort of didn't engage with the subject for a long time. On the rare occasion I was confronted about it, I gave sort of ambiguous answers. Then when I was in my late twenties I sort of became obsessed. I think it might be because I was approaching 30, and it seemed like I really needed to figure things out.
4&5. The moment I knew I was gay, the moment I accepted it, and the moment I came out for the first time all happened simultaneously. I came out to a friend as "queer" (because I had realized I wasn't straight but was still partly in denial of being gay) and when he answered with a supportive message, I instantly knew I was gay and accepted it. It was sort of surreal, actually. That was April 28, 2010, according to the record of our PMs on Facebook, which is how I did it. I was 30.
6. I came out over the next year or so. What I consider my last step in coming out was joining a lesbian choir where I live, and that was in February of 2011. Now, I often refer to my choir activities with grocery clerks and bank tellers, and when they ask, "Oh, what sort of choir is it?" which they always do, I tell them. Gay things are all over my Facebook, and I make no secret of it, ever. It's amazing how much things can change in just a short period of time.

People come out, to themselves and others, at all ages. Some much older than you at 26. So don't worry about it.