Hey EC I'm writing an article for a local newspaper about the GSA that I just started, and am looking for some feedback on things I could add/change/remove from the article. Thanks for your time. The Allies: A Gay-Straight Alliance I’m a student and facilitator of a new social activism group at North Island College: We’ve named our group The Allies: A Gay Straight Alliance. Myself, along with several other students and several faculty members are working to change the holistic perception and treatment of the lgbtq (that’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning) community Port Alberni. I want to see an increase in awareness, respect, and understanding of the more invisible struggles our diverse population may face in today’s society. I would like to see more of an inclusive community that wants to grow in a better direction. A few months ago, I couldn’t help but notice the lack of organisational and visible displays of support for youth and adults questioning their sexual and gender identity in Port Alberni. After discussing the idea with several people, I realized that I could step up to this plate and change things for future generations so they wouldn’t have to feel marginalized, alone, or to be subtly shoved to the side in a community that could do much more for the lgbtq population so no one would feel like they don’t have a voice or a place in this community – when, in fact, everyone has value and importance. That’s the message I want to convey by starting this group – that it is not acceptable to be or act in homophobic or transphobic ways. Our next meeting is on March 27th at 3 pm and it would be great to see members of the community who are supportive of this venture attend the meeting and share their voices and ideas to the group.
What immediately jumps out at me is where you say "Myself" early in the article. It should be "I". It may sound weird, but "myself" is only for reflexive verbs like "I spilled a drink on myself." Also "...community [in] Port Alberni." right after the parentheses about lgbtq. Otherwise, very nice. Well written, concise, and professional.
Looks pretty good. A few minor quibbles, though. I'd drop the colon after North Island College (in the first line). At the least, I'd go with a period. Or you could say "...North Island College, The Allies: A Gay Straight Alliance." Or you could go with "I'm a facilitator of The Allies: A Gay Straight Alliance, a new social activism group at North Island College." lgbtq should be LGBTQ (it's an acronym). There probably should be some paragraph breaks added. Newspapers seem to like short paragraphs, sometimes a short as one line.
I'll keep those suggestions in mind for the future, but I already sent the article to the newspaper editor for submission this afternoon so it's a bit late for additional changes.
