Do looks matter?

Well, ugly is a subjective term. Fat is as well, though less so.

I could fall in love with someone who is less than classically attractive. I've noticed in my past crushes that the strongest ones are the ones I've gotten to know well. The people I like usually have shining personalities, so that's what's important to me.

And besides, just because someone is ugly to me doesn't mean they're ugly to everyone else (and vice-versa).

 

Just because someone is fat doenst mean they are ugly. I think that looks matter at first but once you know the person it shouldn't matter as Much

 

Looks does matter, but looks doesn`t have to be physical. Attraction is about a lot more than simply physical features for most of us. I mean, how often do you fall in love with a perfect nose?

Attraction can be a complicated thing, and some people might go for the hot stuff for sex when it`s only about the sex, but for relationship material they wouldn`t be bought if it`s lousy material in a nice packaging.

A person who feels good, looks better than a person who has zero self-confidence or a bad attitude, unless you`re the type to fall for bad attitudes, there`s someone for everyone. Most of the time it`s about charisma, personality, confidence and humor that together makes someone attractive. I mean, a women/man could look great physically, but if he/she`s an ass, with no humor, a negative attitude, who looks down on everyone around him/her, most people would find that unattractive.

If you put me between an overweight chick with a pretty smile and an interesting hobby, and an hourglass shaped model with gorgeous features, but zero interests other than looks, fashion & make up, and a lacking humor to boot, I would be more attracted to the girl with the smile, the extra weight wouldn`t factor in, unless it`s extreme overweight. In which case I wouldn`t choose either of them, but rather find someone else, because gorgeous really isn`t enough to be interesting or catch my eye. So between a girl with a gorgeous outside, but a plain inside, and a girl with a plain outside, but a gorgeous inside, I would choose the latter any day.

Cleopatra was supposed to have an eagle nose, and be quite physically plain, and yet she was the woman to conquer in Egypt, the one all the men wanted. Obviously, she had the key to creating attraction, and didn`t let her looks stop her. Sexy and attractive is relative, because most of us have a unique taste. We don`t all follow the same recipe and we don`t all want the same thing.

So, it`s not a lie that personality counts more than looks, but perhaps it would be better phrased as personality adds more to what is attractive than the purely physical often does. There are exceptions, because there are people who aren`t really interested in a meaningful relationship, and would rather just have sex with someone with a hot body. Which is great for them if they are honest about it. But there are plenty out there who wants something more than just having sex with some hot person, and then personality and humor will count, because then you`re supposed to be able to be with this person, and enjoy spending time with him/her, and a perfect nose don`t automatically grant that.

 

I'm sure you (along with everyone else on this miserable planet) have been beat over the head with the "It's what's on the inside that counts" message, however the reality is looks do matter. Almost everyone has a set standard of what they find attractive or can live with. What you want appearance-wise from someone is your call.

 

Hollywood and the entertainment industry in general is over populated with so called beautiful people but most of them are nothing but a sorry bunch of self centered neurotic freaky whack jobs who I wouldn't give the time of day to. As others have said here and in other similar threads what a person is made of inside is far more important than physical, often plastic, appearance. Being "pretty" is OK but a ways down on my check list.

 

You got it! Especially in the gay world which is full of shallow, superficial people. At least around here in Florida you can forget even geting a word in at gay place to a guy. That is unless you look like a gym rat, or belong to a click of "in" people. June

 

If someone is ugly fat or anything like that, I'd still date them because of their personality.

 

Some of the most beautiful people I've known have had some of the shittiest personalities, so no. Looks don't matter to me. If you're good-looking I may fantasize about you in some superficial, purely sexual way, but if you're a good person I will actually admire you.

 

Yes, they do. Not as much as personality but they do. What I count as looks isn't just one's physical appearance but aspects of you that you project: posture, clothing, smiles, frowns, body language and such.

 

I've fallen in love with women before, so I know that physical attraction isn't a prerequisite for me to fall in love with someone. However, I wouldn't have dated any of those women because I wasn't physically attracted to them and thus wouldn't have enjoyed "getting physical" with them. And for me, a fulfilling relationship requires emotional connection and sexual connection. So I don't know how willing I'd be to date someone I wasn't physically attracted to "because they have a great personality." I might as well date a woman in that case; there are certainly plenty more women out there who date men than men who date men, so my odds would be better. Of course, I'm not willing to date a good-looking asshole, so looks aren't the end-all, be-all of it.

The metaphor I always use is this: being good-looking will get you in the door, but bad personality will get you kicked out and emotional connection will let you stay longer. Physical attraction happens instantly, but emotion attraction takes time, and since I'd ideally like to have both, I might as well go by the one I can decide instantly.

Although it's important to note that preferences in appearance vary wildly from person to person. Just as we all have vastly different tastes in music or ice cream or hobbies, we all have vastly different tastes in people. I've ogled quite a few guys that my friends gave me weird looks for finding attractive.

 

You're so right! Thanks for standing up for the truth!

Looks do matter. Now, there's no universal look - so it is subjective. BUT, looks do matter. Is that great? Hell no. It sucks.

 

Well, from a Trans* perspective I try really hard not to gauge someone on their looks alone. The problem is that it is hard-wired in me to naturally find some women more attractive than others. I have to sort through the "am I loving her looks or am I really lusting to be her?" question a lot though. But I have found through dating that personalities go a long way with me. I had one girl that I dated who was a 10/10 to me with a chip on her shoulder and the personality of a brick. She couldn't hold a deep conversation for the life of her. Soon that "OMG she's awesome looking! I'm so lucky!" spark died down and I saw her in the same light as a lovely painting. I could admire how beautiful she was; but I knew that under her surface looks was a blank slate with no substance. With average looking girls they usually do not have that "society owes me because I'm gorgeous!" mentality that seems more prevalent in great looking women. So I guess I'll go with average looks and great personality as my final answer. :lol:

 

=______= Calling someone ugly is NEVER okay. Maybe your personal preference does not lie with that person, but to say that everyone ever needs to think of X person as ugly/beautiful is absurd. Amd NOTHING good comes from calling people ugly except making them hate themselves, perhaps kill themselves.

 

Looks matter, at least in terms of attraction. Looks don't factor into who I can be friends with, but for a romantic relationship I do need the element of physical attraction.

However, my relationships aren't defined exclusively by physical attraction, I need an emotional connection for any real chemistry to form. Furthermore, I don't require that someone be a god of beauty for me to find them attractive, it's more that I just require that they be at least "decent" looking (i.e they have neutral looks, plain). When I first met my last (and first real) crush, I actually wasn't that into his looks. He didn't look bad or anything, but he wasn't exactly my type. However, as I got to know him, I started to feel an emotional bond, which in turn changed how I perceived his looks. He went from appearing decent to me, to being beautiful.

I wish I could completely separate my romantic feelings from physical attraction, as I can consciously understand that real beauty lies within, not without, but I find myself unable to change that part of my psyche. It's just the way we work, we instinctively search for mates who are fit and healthy, with good genetics (reflected by various physical traits).

 

This happened to me as well... Fell hard for a buddy of mine who wasn't my physical type, but once that emotional bond grew, he became the sexiest man I've ever seen. Funny how that works...

 

Yes, looks matter to me. I'm not saying that my girlfriend has to look like Miss Universe (well, it would be nice :lol but I want that she takes care of herself just like I do. I mean, I don't want to have a relationship with someone who does not have personal hygiene and stuff. On the other hand, I would not mind to have a relationship with someone who is transgender. I do not have a 'type' that I like so it really depends from person to person. And alot of times I fell in love with someone because who they are and not how they look.

 

I'm on the lower range of attractiveness, so I can't really be picky. And even if I were attractive, I still wouldn't be. I think with being asexual, looks don't matter as much to me as they do to sexual people, but I still want an attractive/healthy partner. To be honest, my girlfriend is absolutely gorgeous and I feel insecure around her, but she thinks I'm very cute, which just means that attractiveness is subjective. What might be considered unattractive to one person, might be the most beautiful person to another.

With that said, I tend to always find one thing attractive about every person. Personality means more to me, since I need an emotional connection with someone, and I tend to find people who don't fall into the standard or out of the "classically beautiful" range, to be extremely attractive. Such as Bjork, for example. I can't really find a person to be ugly. Unattractive? yes, but ugly? no. And it sucks being called ugly; Trust me, I'd know.

Anyway, yes, looks to me are somewhat important. But personality means more. If I got along with them, and they made me laugh and I enjoyed their company, that's all that means to me.

 

It's all about sexual attraction. If there's no sexual attraction, then a relationship just wouldn't work out for me. If they had other redeeming qualities such as a decent intelligence or share my academic interests and/or political/philosophical ideals and were passionate then yes, I could. I would likely end up fetishizing certain aspects of their appearance or personality. If they're just ugly and nothing else then probably not.

And chances are if you think you're ugly, you're not. The self is the harshest critic. Also fat =/= unattractive.

 

I'm not gonna lie, if I'm not physically attracted to someone, I could never be in a relationship with them.

My "standards" (god, I sound shallow) for girls, is much lower than my "standards" for guys. I don't know why, but I REALLY don't care what a girl looks like, as long as she is beautiful on the inside. ^^ But with guys... I'm kinda really shallow.

I don't know why, but I totally dig chubby girls. >///< It's just a matter of preference, I guess.