Isolation

1)Well the first time i ever felt isolated that i remember was when i was in kindergarten i was dyslexic and left handed and i went to a christian school which was not a good mix. However i have been isolated so many times for many different things lol

2)Yes i do that alot. All the time actually or i just pretend to have a fake smiles around people.

3) well the reson i have alwaysbeen isolated by people. I guess because i am socially awkward and different. Also i guess because im a little unpredictable.So my mood swings scare people off alot

 

I first felt isolated when I was a sophomore in high school. I isolated myself from basically everyone even though I did really notice it at first. It was because I was suffering from some serious depression and was when I first started to question my sexuality. It lasted for over a year and a half when one day my mom came in to my room where I isolated myself and started to talk to me about getting help. Thats when I realized that I had been isolating myself. Im happy to say I rarely do that anymore but there are some days when I feel like Im going through it all over again.

 

The first time I felt isolated was 1st grade in Grade School. I was the only Native American in my school. Our school mascot at the time was this horrid 1960's style caricature of a Native American. My Mom was apart of a local Native American group at the time; when she took one look at the mascot she said "this thing has got to go.". So my Mom and others protested at the school. When the other kids saw that my Mom was trying "to take away their schools heritage" I became the scape goat for their anger. All throughout Grade School and Jr High I was mostly ostracized and treated sub-human by my peers. No one wanted to ever sit next to "the injun" in class or at lunch. The hatred for me got so bad that I got permission to eat alone in the staff cafeteria. I began to hate my heritage and pleaded for my Mom to let me turn Caucasian and be like everyone else. It seemed that no matter what I did I was seen as that "filthy injun" kid to others. I honestly lost count of how many times I was beaten up for just being me. If it was not for us getting the internet in Jr High so I could chat online I would have lost my mind in the loneliness of it all.

In High School I isolated myself on purpose for multiple reasons. The first was that I was deathly afraid of my peers or of anyone new finding out that I was Native American. The second was that my wrong puberty started to happen and my gender dysphoria hit full time. I learned to not trust anyone, so instead I kept to myself silently loathing my existence. It wasn't until I hit College that I started to open up to others and be who I am today.

The reason for my isolation was being beaten most of my life by racism mixed with confusion about being a Transsexual. Not only did I have no one my age to understand my struggles as a Native, but I had this massive confusion that what I was being told about my gender did not make sense. I felt like a girl, yet everyone treated me like a guy. It's honestly a wonder that I'm as open to others as I am now. 10 years ago I wouldn't have the courage to make any friends or try to get close to people. I had this constant fear that anyone who became my friend was just using it as an opportunity to find out about my weaknesses and hurt me deeper.

 

Let's see.

1) When I was in seventh grade, I was really questioning whether I really WAS gay. I had a crush on a boy, and everyone around me was talking about girls. I couldn't talk about boys with them, they'd call me gay and no one would be my friend. I basically left that social circle and found a couple new friends, who were all girls. These girls would talk about boys, and I would just sit there and imagine myself talking about boys with them. One girl even came out as a lesbian in that new social group, but being the dumb little seventh grader I was, I left that social group because I was being picked on for hanging out with the girls. I felt emmasculated and hurt. Basically, throughout eigth and ninth grade, I sat by myself in my room all day. No one sat with me at lunch, people would snicker at me for being 'gay.' Of course I was, but I would just sit there and take it like a fool. I didn't want anyone to be my friend, not even my own twin brother. Before I came out to him, he was making fun of gay people in my school. It really pissed me off, and I didn't speak with him much in that time. I felt like I was the only one going through this, and it didn't help at all that I barely had friends.

2) As I stated above, yes. I did it to protect myself, which didn't go as planned. I also do it in my room a lot to escape the hateful world around us.

3) Read above.

However, now, most of my friends are very happy with me being able to come out to them, same with my brother. Even though he doesn't speak about it with me, he talks to me like I am his brother again. I no longer feel like I am going through this alone, and thanks to EC, I am much happier.

 

I've been isolated since 4th grade. I don't leave my room, I have no physical friends, I have a poor relationship with family, I can't talk to people.

I win, where's my prize?

 

All the time. But I'm frequently reminded that lots of people sort of suck, and being in a class of my own isn't so bad.

 

When was the first time you felt isolated?
— I think I've always felt somewhat isolated throughout my life. I always knew I was gay since elementary school and that it wasn't the "norm" among my classmates and friends. I could never talk about my feelings or thoughts or share my problems with anyone because no one knew I'm gay. Therefore, I always had to keep things to myself and couldn't be open even when hanging out with friends. So, it's that kind of thing where you're surrounded by people but still feel isolated.

Did you ever isolate yourself on purpose?
— Yes, I've pretty much isolated myself for the past two years. I'm nearing the end of my junior year of college, and I've been isolating myself since the beginning of sophomore year. And this time, it's the literal type of isolation where I'm always by myself.

What may have been the reason for this isolation?
— I got my heart broken really badly by an unrequited love for my best friend. Above all, she was my closest friend, and when she cut me off for no reason, I fell into a bad depression that I still haven't gotten over. Long story short, the depression turned into isolation when I had to deal with everything on my own. The isolation made my shyness develop into social anxiety, which made me retreat even more. Since that incident with my friend, I've only let myself get close to two other people, both of whom have disappointed me and left/let me down. Now, I just avoid engaging in relationships with anyone for fear of getting attached and getting hurt. I'd rather spare my heart the pain that people cause and get by on my own.

 

I'm no psychologist but I can emphasise with what a lot of people feel here. Reading on others' experiences and my own friends', I reckon here's some traits that mean you probably won't find yourself isolated:

- Independence. You're able to move around if you ever find yourself in a bad situation.
- Confidence. I'm not saying you have to be super extroverted or completely comfortable with yourself, but if you're not happy with the group of friends you currently have, then you need to be open towards mingling amongst others.
- Open-mindedness. Don't push new people away for fear of being judged or treated how you have been previously. Give the world some trust.
- Not wanting to be isolated. Self-explanatory.

My flatmate-to-be feels seems pretty isolated at the moment and I get the impression he blames it on the behaviour of others. No-one's trying to change him, but if he hates the situation he's in then he should take it onto his own shoulders to do something about it.

(I feel like a complete dick writing these posts)