Hey So I've been going to this support place once a week to have one and one sessions with my support helper person (Don't know the right name) Now it's going well and next week he has scheduled my appointment for Monday when the place is a lot more busy. He also said there is a LGBT group thing that he does on the afternoon and he said that if I felt comfortable with going into social situations. However I have a slight problem and I don't know why. Maybe it got something to do with my social problems or not I don't know. The group is LGBT and I feel I would feel uncomfortable around transgender people... I don't know why. I mean no offense and I don't even know if uncomfortable is the right word maybe it's just cause social situations like that is unknown to me I don't know I'm a really accepting guy and I have no problem with however and whoever someone wants to be or is. So Can anyone shed any light on this? I am gonna talk with my support person next week about this to see if he can shed light on it and maybe identify why.
You're transphobic. Be around more trans people and you'll stop being afraid of them. Your fear is as irrational as being afraid of black people is.
^ basically that. A lot of fear stems from fear of the unknown, and trans* people are pretty unknown to you. You've seen quite a few on EC and I'm sure you can tell they're every bit the same as the rest of us, socially-speaking. If you come across a trans* person, treat them like you would anyone else, and be aware of what pronouns they like to be referred by. Otherwise, they're just people. No need to be uncomfortable.
the exposure will help. sometimes i forget that my friends are trans. some i've always known by their preferred gender, others started identifying otherwise after i knew them for some time. the longer you're around them, the more comfortable you'll be with them. they're just like us. normal people with more obstacles to get through than your average joe.
Might the discomfort come just from over-sensitivity? I know I feel slightly weird talking about it, only because I don't want to say something offensive, such as using the wrong pronoun or something and making a trans person feel bad. It's the same silly political correctness attitude that infiltrates the rest of society, but at the same time, we want to make real progress.
I've never met a trans person in real life, but being totally honest, I think it would be awkward for me too. I guess it's just not something we're used to.
Hmm... They are right up there ^ it's a phobia. Perhaps the way you were raised? I was raised in a pretty conservative catholic house, and I didn't even know there were gay people until 4 years ago, trans people shortly after. We don't bite, promise.
Thanks for being honest. I think that is helpful for you anyways, to be honest with yourself, especially. I agree with Clowstar's advice: Being uncomfortable around us is fine, but the more exposure you get to us you will hopefully not be uncomfortable around us. I think you should remain honest to yourself, though, otherwise, especially for us trans, you could develop some resentment by repressing yourself. Saying that, please be sensitive to the trans you meet, but don't beat yourself up about how you feel.
I think it might just be the nerves and a fear of the unknown. I think once you meet some trans people you'll be fine, it's like going to a group meeting for the first time, you don't know who will be there and how they are till you meet them.
I had never met a trans person till last week. When I was at the womens' group at college, a woman walked in and sat next to me and she was trans. I was a bit freaked out for about a minute, then I thought, 'ffs Vicki, you've just come to terms with the fact that you'r homosexual and you're uncomfortable about this?' I was absolutely fine after that and just treat her and think of her as I would any other woman. I'm a bit ashamed that I actually ever felt like that to be honest. Life is a learning curve and we're all learning, all of the time.
Why are you uncomfortable around Trans* people? We're not monsters Just act with us like you would anyone else One tip: If you accidentally misgender someone, don't make a big deal, just say sorry. Like if you accidentally misgendered a Cis person
Summed it up nicely. Er, yeah, "fear of the unknown"... trans* people aren't scary, or monsters who're going to murder you. What if I said that I'm uncomfortable around all gay people? That's illogical. We're all people. No exception. Don't treat trans* people like a subspecies, please...
Apologies for using "fear of the unknown", I didn't intend for it to come across negative or mean what you said.
Oh no, what you said was ok. I was using it in my statement, because it technically is "fear of the unknown" or fear of something you're not used to. Though it can imply trans* people are some "unknown subspecies" of people, and to be afraid of them is justified.
I'm definitely like this with some groups of people. I'm trying so hard not to in any way assume something or insult anybody that I wind up becoming very self-conscious and uncomfortable. I think it actually happens even more when it is a group I'm a part of. For instance, when I'm talking to another non-straight person in real life (especially lesbians), a very large part of me is strongly urging the rest of me not to bring up their sexuality. I have friends of all genders, sexualities, nationalities, races, religions, and none of those traits matter to me in the slightest. I consider myself well-educated on all of these, and would classify myself as extremely non-judgmental. I just have been so taught by society that those topics are so sensitive to discuss that I feel like they have to be avoided at all costs, unless the other person initiates the conversation (and even then, I have a hard time). You may or may not have the same issue, I don't know. But I agree with everybody else- you need to get to know some trans* people, work with your support person, and see if you can't find a way to rectify your issues.
