People asking about your orientation?

I tried and waited for someone to ask me, but I overcame my fear, and I came out to about four people within a two week period.

The thing is, when they are asking you, you NEVER know what kind of reaction they are bringing to the picnic. It could be 'aww' or 'EW WTF M4N U g4Y & I R STR8'.

^^ (JUST EXAMPLES!)

The advantage to coming out to someone is you can observe their actions, mannerisms, maybe get some insight on to what they think about gays, gay marriage, stuff like that. Maybe make sure they will be comfortable with you telling them.

Just some advice.

 

To me, it happened only once. I was at a party and a girl I did not even know saw me dancing to Call me Maybe. We became friends shortly after that

 

Actually, this is how I came out to (a small portion of) my family. We'd gone out for drinks, I was feeling a little tipsy, and I made some stupid comment about strippers and Mardi Gras which prompted my sister to ask, more than once, if there was something I needed to tell them. I just said, "Nothing you don't already know." Then she revealed that her wife thought I was gay the first time we met, and when said wife returned to the table she stage-whispered to her, "You were right."

People have asked me for years if I was a lesbian, and 90% of the time I'd just shrug it off or deny it. That was the first time I confessed that, yeah, I'm into women. Not that it wasn't obvious already -- everyone knows how unenthusiastic I am about guys, and I'm pretty sure I was the only fourteen-year-old girl in town with Faye Valentine posing sultrily on her wall. :lol:

Having people ask makes it easier, at least if you're ready to be honest with yourself. They can't blame you for springing it on them out of nowhere when they're the ones who ask. At the same time, most people aren't liable to ask a question like that unless you've given them a lead-in, like you've done or said something they might construe as gay. And some people are hesitant to ask even then, for fear of coming across as rude.

 

I wish people would ask me. When I come out to people, they still frequently respond with something like, "I never would have suspected." Which was comforting when I was in the process of coming out and didn't want everyone to know, but now it's starting to get annoying.

The only time anyone ever asked me was when I was talking with someone I'd met fairly recently, and we got on the subject of sexuality. I was standing in the doorway of my dorm room, which had an "Ally Space" sticker on the side with my name on it, while I was wearing a t-shrit that said, "I HEART CHUBBY BEARDED GUYS", and he asked me, "You're straight, right?" :dry:

 

I wish, but nobody ever asks "Are you pansexual?"

 

Nobody has asked me about my orientation in about a year. I don't mind them as long as they aren't being intrusive or rude.

 

I only want people to ask cause I want someone to talk about it with. But noone ever does and I doubt anyone ever will.

 

I had one of my roommates ask me about my orientation when I was in college. She asked me at work and in reaction to my going through something with a guy I was dating at the time. I told her 'yes' and we had a good talk and life moved on.

Todd

 

I've only been asked if I'm gay, which I'm not. I'm not even a guy, gosh. Meh, maybe in a few years.

 

The polite way to ask, in those circumstances where it is appropriate at all, is actually to phrase it as an open-ended question about sexual orientation. But most people are not aware enough to realize that (even queer people).

 

I think it would be way easier tell people if they just asked! I can never seem to build up the courage to tell them myself >.<
I think that if people don't ask, the next simplest thing would be to bring up (or direction the topic to) orientation in a conversation and casually pass a comment about your own orientation there.

 

havent been asked ... wouldnt know what to say if some did... especially if it was a really good mate of mine... id probably deny it... knowing my mates it wont go down to well...

 

I haven't been asked in years, and when I was, it was in a joking manor. I'm with you, I would love it if people asked. I would probably answer truthfully.

edit:
I've actually recently had a conversation about this with my roommate and his girlfriend. I believe he said "You can't just go up to someone and ask if their gay." I disagreed, for my own reason lol.

 

I had been asked twice by 2 different people if I were gay, both questions were about 6 months apart, I guess they were just wondering, I guess just normal conversation, both times I kind of didn't answer, and the subject matter moved on. I told one of those friends about 2 years later, and they hadn't remembered the conversation and were genuinely shocked when I told them I was gay. I think one of there replies, it was via text was, "we are who we are"

 

I used to be asked once in awhile. Most people don't because if we say we are queer they don't have a comeback. The last time I was asked the person said, "oh how nice." She smiled and had no clue what to do or say. She just became terribly uncomfortable like she was afraid, now that the truth was known I was going to want sex with her.

 

I've said that quite a few times around the forum but I have been asked if I want(ed?) to become a lesbian. XD I explained to my cousin that such a thing is not possible-you do't choose your sexuality-and then she asked me if I'd date a girl-to which I responded yes and that was my first coming out. Yes, I do like it when people ask after my orientation and I wish they would do it more often. But when someone not close to me asks (or someone who I know is homophobic), then I deny it. So that can go either way.

 

Oddly enough, it happened to me for the first time in an official capacity today. I rang up the Shelter housing advice line to find out how to get myself released from my mortgage and they ask you these, diversity questions, as they call them. One of them was, 'what is your sexual orientation?' I must admit, it did feel rather odd saying lesbian...I managed to say it though, just about.