I don't now about everyone but myself and some others have told.me about their experiences with this like at a young age I was taught that what was normal to me wasn't normal. My mom once told me not to walk a certain way because supposedly boys walked like that.well that's only one example and so some may say maybe u were just a tomboy well u tell me but I got comments like that endlessly and even now I sometimes become conscious of The way I walk...I know I'LL ever be the girliest girl but now these things are drilled into my head to the point where its like I have to do them.sorry for rambling but i needed to talk about it...:icon_sad:
I got that a lot when I was young too (and actually still from my family), and I understand how it can make you confused later when the "correction" pops into your head as you're just being you. I got called on my walk too, and my clothing choices. I've only recently decided to just completely 100% be myself and ignore any of the gender conditioning. I cut my hair, bought myself some boxers, and am walking exactly like myself even if it doesn't make me look like a lady. As I've done this more and more the conditioning voice in my head hasn't popped up so much, and when it does it doesn't make me feel guilt or shame for the way I'm acting. I just had to push through the first bit, and make that first decision to be me. I assure you that whatever way you walk is completely fine. It's you. And you are fine without any changes.
Oh yeah, lots of that crap and I fought it with tooth and nail till the end, still do. Probably where I got my fighting spirit, maybe I should actually thank my screwed up abusive parents for that one? Nah, not gonna happen. But I was always forced to wear a dress until one day I just snapped at everyone and flat out refused. (I don't feel comfortable in skirts or dresses, I am not butch or boi, I have my own personal reasons that I will not go into here). I always got comments from folks and classmates on the way I walk actually, everyone kept saying I walked like a soldier. Even my grandmother asked me once if I could walk more feminine and tried teaching me to move my shoulders I little, it was awkward, funny and sad. Fact and the matter was, I couldn't walk any other way but the way I walked and the way that came natural to me. Now if someone else through it was the way a soldier walked they could kiss my ass. That includes my aunt with whom I don't have a good relationship anymore because she has always, ALWAYS tried to make me into something I am not, even bought stuff for me that she KNEW i wouldn't wear and I ended up never wearing actually, but she would still do the same thing, still does, which is why we no longer have much contact, my conscious choice by the way. I guess what I am trying to say is, if someone cannot accept you the way you are even if you have given them thousands of chances, in the end the only way out it to cut them out of your life completely. You don't need that stress in your life and you deserve better and above all, you are YOU and you should love yourself for what and who you are not what and who others THINK you should be or WANT you to be. Show people like that a BIG middle finger and let them kiss your ass coz they deserve it, so far as I'm concerned, what they do can be considered abuse and bullying and that is NEVER right and deserves a finger, honestly!
