LGBT/gay related jokes?

How do you fit four gay men on one barstool? Flip it over.

 

What do gay horses eat? hhaaeeyyyy~

 

Did you hear about the two gay guys that had an argument in the bar?
They went outside to exchange blows...

 

I was going to make a gay joke, butt **** it. Cum on guys, gay jokes aren't funny!

How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your d**k off on his curtains.

 

I see we all just googled gay jokes and choose the first result so I guess ill add one.

Did you hear about the homosexual electron?
He went around blowing fuses. :roflmao:

 

Did you hear about the gay bank robber?

He tied up the safe and blew the guard.

---------- Post added 19th Mar 2013 at 08:24 AM ----------

Four gay guys walk into a bar and start arguing over who's penis is longer.

Well the bar tender finally got sick of hearing them arguing so told them he had a way to solve this problem.

He told them to stick their penis' on the bar and he'd tell them who's was bigger.

Well just as they put them up there, another gay guy walks in and yells "I'll have the buffet!"

 

They say one in every four men is gay, so there must be one in my group of friends.

I hope it's Bob - he's super cute.

 

Q. What toy do you get a gay boy for Christmas?
A. An Erection set.


(Note for those who don't know: there is an American construction set toy named "Erector.")

 

What a drag it is getting old...

When I went to the bar tonight, I noticed this old boy about 75-80 years sitting all alone in the corner and he was crying over his cocktail.

I stopped and asked him what was wrong.

He said: "I have a 22 year old lover at home. I met him a month or so ago, right here in this very bar!" He continued; "He makes love to me every morning and then he makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground, brewed coffee."

I said: "Well, then why are you crying?"

He said: "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then he makes love to me half the afternoon."

I said: "Well, so why are you crying?"

He said: "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then he makes love to me until 2:00 am."

I said: "Well, for goodness sakes! Why in the world would you be CRYING!"

And he said: "I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE I LIVE!"

 

You want to hear a lgbt related joke?

How about my love life?

[YOUTUBE]bcYppAs6ZdI[/YOUTUBE]

 

I'm really sorry I laughed a little too hard at that. :roflmao:

 

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

Megasaurass.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lickalotapuss.

 

A lesbian couple I know can't afford the double headed dildo they want. They're really struggling to make ends meet.


A woman goes to the gynecologist, and upon examination, the doctor says, "Why, it's immaculate in here! What do you do to keep yourself so hygenic?" The woman responds, "I have a woman in twice a week."

 

Did you hear who won the race between the gays and the lesbians?

The lesbians won, they got out of there lickety split while the gays were still packing their shit.

 

:roflmao:

I especially liked the buffet one too.

 

I found the one I like lots!! So glad I remember a bunch of it.


Heather invited her mother over for dinner. During the meal, her mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Heather's roommate was.

She had long been suspicious of Heather's sexuality and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two women interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Heather and the roommate than met the eye.

Reading her mom's thoughts, Heather volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Suzy and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Suzy came to Heather and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Heather said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So she sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, Heather received a letter from her mother which read:
"Dear Daughter, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Suzy, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Suzy. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now."
"Love - Mum"

 

What do you call a gay sailor? A seaman.

/hears chorus of boos

 

Guys are skinny-dipping in a hot spring. A used condom floats up and someone cries out "Alright, who farted?"
(got this one from a perverted guy friend)

 

/is the only one in the audience who laughed really hard.