I am a Dominican who considers herself Dominican-American, but who others consider African-Dominican-American. Growing up in New York from the time I ten, I see many different things; some wild, some psychotic, some nerve-recking, but mostly I see diversity, division, and expectation. Growing up as a hispanic (Dominican), people already had this sort of idea of me. I was supposed to have some kind of an accent, I HAD to be a little wild, a little reserved, a little domesticated. I HAD to know how to dance, and since I didn't I was weird. Growing up as part of Catholic family I had to be smart, thoughtful, conservative. I had to belive what the church believed, listen to my parents, never go against their will. I had to read the bible (which I never did, and never plan on doing) I was going to be the tattle-tale, the goody too-shoes. But I never was any of those things. What I always was but they never saw was the exception to the rule. So now that I'm Gay, I see in my future a ridiculous mixture of expectations, and I don't deal well with expectations, especially not with stranger's expectations. :eusa_doh:
I've always found that making it clear to people up front that the only expectations about myself that I really care about are my own tends to cut through this sort of thing in short order and save ever so much time
