...who is (was?) in the same group with me in school. We're preparing for a national chemistry competition along with a few more people. He's really cute and funny and he appears to be the stereotypical gay male...and gives me this funny vibe every time I see him. The qualifications for the competition were yesterday so he was there as well as the rest of the group. The only free seat in the room (that was next to a person I know) was next to him :icon_redf . To avoid cheating, they scrambled us and he was in the other room. After the test we had a break for the teachers to check the tests so they can announce the results as soon as they can. When we came back I sat on the seat I was last time. Then he entered the room, one of his (girl)friends asked him to sit next to her, and he responded with "nah, I'll sit over there",pointing to the seat next to me. Sadly he couldn't qualify (unlike me (!)). Now I'm not even sure if he's gay, not to mention him being interested in me. All I know is that we share a few common interests, he's going to Scotland this year, and I'll probably never see him again. Now I'd like an advice. Should I even bother approaching him? If you think it's a good idea...how to do that? Aparantly, girls are easier to approach than guys... :eusa_doh:
I would. Okay, you only have a few months, but take it from my own experience, you don't want to wait too late and regret not asking then. If you think he is gay (mainly because of all his "girlfriends". He might like you, he might not. But he is unlikely to be a complete arse if you ask him out and he isnt interested. Chances are, nothing will happen if he isn't, you both will just mvoe on...
As someone who's convinced he lost a decade of his life on playing it safe, I might not be the best source of advice, but.. it seems that you are in as safe a situation as you can hope for (other than him jumping on you). I'm guessing that if you thought at all that he might be a problematic person to talk to, you would have said it in your post. So you just need a second opinion on your already affirmative view? And yeah, girls are so much easier to talk to. But that's only because there's no thrill in it
@ Dalmation, Haha, that's easy to say if you're not into them! Fuzzy, do you talk to him a lot? If you two know each other pretty well, then go for it, by all means! Creating a mental table of the negative and positives of the possible two outcomes really helps- you'll see that the 'negatives' side is smaller than the positives! Keep relaxed, make eye contact, and know what you're going to say. Good luck, though you shouldn't need it!
I barely know him, and we almost never talk. I kind of get anxious around him and my tongue ties up. My problem is that I tend to get crushes on people too easily.
Talk more, ask him about chemistry, and offer to help him out if he expresses an interest in continuing. That nervousness is hard to handle, though.. stay casual for maybe two weeks in this manner. If you haven't graduated, talk about what colleges you two are going to- those conversations can last forever, with their subcategories of clubs, sports, roommates, etc. If you get crushes too easily, are you worried about the crush suddenly going away? Easing into conversation will help you find out how you feel. After those two weeks, if you've talked at least a bit, then ask him.
Hi Fuzzywuzzy, I'm a trained chemist, we like to cook, as him if he likes that then after some time, where you laugh at his jokes, and you've established eye contact, and you've offered him sympathy for not passing the exam... ask him if he dates guys. Then see what happens (and what really is the worst that can happen?)
How much do you see him anyway? Is he from your school? Now that he's not passed to the next round, are you two going to meet "officially" again? In any case, since this competition is basically your only common interest, the longer you wait the greater the gap between you will be and it will be harder to talk to him. Two days ago you were sitting together and it was normal, in a month you will be strangers and saying hi will be the thing of fading politeness. At this moment you have an entry point. You can ask him for a coffee or a study session or just to talk about the competition. You have chemistry in common, so maybe a talk about college opportunities can be a safe, easy starter. But, it will get harder and harder. For example, saying "lets get coffee" at the competition would have been trivial. Now it takes some planning and in a month you might lose your resolve completely.
I'm graduating in less than two months, and since he failed to qualify, I doubt I'll see him again in the group. He's from my school but he's always with his friends. I do have an idea about meeting him in another group that he (I think) attends (and I should as well but I don't and that's another matter). Other than embarassing myself I don't see what else could go wrong. Thanks for the support guys. I'll give you an update if something happens or I run away like a coward. Love you! (&&&)
So I promised an update. Here it is. I'm not a social network user and I'll never become one. Looks can be deceiving as this was the case. After checking his said profile I was just repulsed. Five pictures of himself, with the same sunglasses at the same place, from a differnet angle, posted at the same time. His best friend is aparantly a girl that has only caused me trouble in the past. Most of his posts are in that broken language, most of us see on statuses, made up by girls in their early teens. Aaaaand... obviously he doesn't date guys. At least as of now. Only girls. XX. Good thing I didn't realise that the hard way. That would've made things even tougher, and the realisation even more painful.
It's crazy how fast it's possible to lose interest for someone, right? Well, that's ok. Now you can move on. Good thing you checked him out in advance. Btw, I don't know why people use that sort of writing. Smart people, literate people. Weird. But it bothers me as well.
Thank you for the update! Lucky that you did your scouting. Perhaps he wanted to get to know you originally because this friend of his that caused trouble for you told him about you, and he wanted to make his own opinions. He might not be all bad, but the pictures and text-chat are turn-offs. I'm sorry that it turned out so But I'm happy that you didn't get involved before you got a clearer picture of what he was like.
