What if?

[Trumpetplyer23]

I was thinking, what if the entire coming out scenario was switched around?

Follow me here, instead of all of us LGBT people having to come out to everyone, what if all of the 'straight' people had to come out to a LGBT world? So, instead of gay supposedly being bad, what if straight was bad?

Here's how I think it would work (starring Dude #1 and Dude #2)
Dude #1: Whats up, Dude #2?
Dude #2: I have, I have, something to tell you *looks down at floor*
Dude #1: Well, I'm your best friend, you can tell me anything.
Dude #2: Okay, I have to tell you the biggest secret of my life. Just swear you won't tell anyone, please.
Dude #1: I'll keep your secret, I won't even tell my bf and I tell him everything.
Dude #2: Okay, well, what I have to say, is that I'm straight.
Dude #1: Wow, okay. Do your parents know?
Dude #2: No, my dads are total heterophobes.
Dude #1: Man, I'm so sorry for you. I know this straight girl, I should introduce you two.
Dude #2: That would be so awesome. Thank you for being so supportive.

[Pepsi]

"Dude #2: No, my dads are total heterophobes."


OHH dear that cracks me up

[Psychedelic Bookmarks]

lol. heterophobic dads.

[Grof142007]

that 2 funny

[Trumpetplyer23]

I truly didn't realize how funny it was until everyone pointed it out. I spent two minutes laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

Back on topic, what do you guys think about the 'alternate reality' I have suggested?

[Pepsi]

It would be intresting, but then I'd feel bad for the straight people

[Trumpetplyer23]

Yeah, I would to. Perhaps rainbows would then be a symbol of straight pride instead of gay pride.

[Fiorino]

ROFL

I think I'd be less likely to be so liberal if being heterosexual was frowned upon by lots of people. Not just my open mindedness on homosexuality, but how it developed my other political views. I don't like conservative politics. Not that I'd be peer pressured into disliking the heterosexual people - I just think I'd have a lower probability of being so open minded if it weren't for being in a minority.

[Trumpetplyer23]

Good point.

Here's another question. Back in the time of Hitler, he was all "Homosexuals don'd deserve to live", do you think he would have been that way to heterosexuals if the world was flipped like I've stated before?

I don't think so, because everyone would have been historically homosexual - it would be viewed as "natural", "normal" and probably religiously correct. Still, if Hitler really did have some kind of aversion to homosexuals he probably would feel the same way about heterosexuals in this scenario because it's viewed by most as unnatural now. And anyway, homophobia is idiotic so it's probably very fluid if we change homosexuals with heterosexuals.

[Trumpetplyer23]

Homophobia is idiotic, very true indeed.

Another thing, if the world was like this then everyone who is LGBT would get to live a so-called 'normal' life with very few prejudicial hitches, whereas someone who is straight would get straight-bashed. Roles would be switched. If we flip everything degrading homosexuality to degrade heterosexuality, then Fred Phelps would be against heterosexuality. Its like opposite day, only more extreme.

[sexyalex]

Originally Posted by Trumpetplyer23

Its like opposite day, only more extreme.

wow.....my eyes are burning...comedy!

so anyways. connor u said homosexuality would be seen natural and religously correct right?..then the bible would be re-written?

[Nitro]

Okay class, today we are going to study the history of heterosexual rights:

Homosexuality is, has always, and will always be the natural sexuality of humans. Let's face it logically: wouldn't a man be better able to pleasure another man than a woman, seeing how anatomically similar they are? Why even The Great Book of Truth mentions this plainly obvious fact that same-sex is the only correct and more importantly moral sex: (True 23:11-45) "Man must lie with man and woman with woman, lowering oneself is to be cursed in the eyes of Our Deity". Yet society has been plagued with the problem of producing offspring. In ancient times slaves were captured from less civilised areas to serve as breeding stock for the next generation. In fact this practice was continued in most parts of the western world until the mid 19th century when the practice of forced breeding was found to be unconstitutional by the supreme court. Free people, often called "breeder boys/girls" were hired for this degrading work, however with declining populations the world began to panic. As you may all remember from our previous unit on WW II, Adolf Hitler started the war in an attempt to gain more breeders to support the drastically falling population of his Reich. Thankfully for all of our sakes he was defeated and no long after the breeeding vat was invented with the cooperation of the whole internation community. The project was called the Baby Boom, and was a huge success and has been used ever since.

Unfortunately certain individuals deviate from the naturally established norm and feel a compulsive desire to engage in the degrading act that the Baby Boom Project (and its successors Project X, Echo Boom, etc.) sought to eliminate. The technical term for these people is "heterosexual" - that is having sex with a gender other than your own. Why I am sure that some of your classmates may be heterosexual. If you are feeling any such urges please, please, seek help. This kind of curiousity in other beings other than ones sex has lead to a moral decay of our society and increases in other sexual deviancies such as bestiality. No society that has totally imbraced heterosexuality has survived more than a few decades because we all know that nothing is as strong as an army of lovers (not to mention the moral decay!). But back to my point class, and really, even if you forget everything else from this lecture, remember this: if you are feeling this "curiousity" there is help available. You are not alone, you do not need to be embarased because heterosexuality is entirely reversible. With advances in pharmacology and pharma-psycology curing heterosexuality is even easier than in your guardians' time (when we used to use electroshock therapy). Remember, there is help, all you have to do is ask. Your guardians love you and will do anything for you because they know that love always wins out.

....

Originally Posted by sexyalex

wow.....my eyes are burning...comedy!

so anyways. connor u said homosexuality would be seen natural and religously correct right?..then the bible would be re-written?

A person's sexual orientation will usually supersede a random book telling them "Lord" hates homosexuality. In this new world I think Christianity would become a very unpopular religion.

[pirateninja]

Originally Posted by Nitro

Okay class, today we are going to study the history of heterosexual rights:

Homosexuality is, has always, and will always be the natural sexuality of humans. Let's face it logically: wouldn't a man be better able to pleasure another man than a woman, seeing how anatomically similar they are? Why even The Great Book of Truth mentions this plainly obvious fact that same-sex is the only correct and more importantly moral sex: (True 23:11-45) "Man must lie with man and woman with woman, lowering oneself is to be cursed in the eyes of Our Deity". Yet society has been plagued with the problem of producing offspring. In ancient times slaves were captured from less civilised areas to serve as breeding stock for the next generation. In fact this practice was continued in most parts of the western world until the mid 19th century when the practice of forced breeding was found to be unconstitutional by the supreme court. Free people, often called "breeder boys/girls" were hired for this degrading work, however with declining populations the world began to panic. As you may all remember from our previous unit on WW II, Adolf Hitler started the war in an attempt to gain more breeders to support the drastically falling population of his Reich. Thankfully for all of our sakes he was defeated and no long after the breeeding vat was invented with the cooperation of the whole internation community. The project was called the Baby Boom, and was a huge success and has been used ever since.

Unfortunately certain individuals deviate from the naturally established norm and feel a compulsive desire to engage in the degrading act that the Baby Boom Project (and its successors Project X, Echo Boom, etc.) sought to eliminate. The technical term for these people is "heterosexual" - that is having sex with a gender other than your own. Why I am sure that some of your classmates may be heterosexual. If you are feeling any such urges please, please, seek help. This kind of curiousity in other beings other than ones sex has lead to a moral decay of our society and increases in other sexual deviancies such as bestiality. No society that has totally imbraced heterosexuality has survived more than a few decades because we all know that nothing is as strong as an army of lovers (not to mention the moral decay!). But back to my point class, and really, even if you forget everything else from this lecture, remember this: if you are feeling this "curiousity" there is help available. You are not alone, you do not need to be embarased because heterosexuality is entirely reversible. With advances in pharmacology and pharma-psycology curing heterosexuality is even easier than in your guardians' time (when we used to use electroshock therapy). Remember, there is help, all you have to do is ask. Your guardians love you and will do anything for you because they know that love always wins out.

....

BEST. THING. I. HAVE. READ. EVER. EVER.

I'm so copying this to word and saving it.

[Sam]

OMG that is the funniest thing I have read! the guy talking about his dad being a heterophobe!

And Nitro's post was also very funny.

Thanks to both of you for the laugh.

[Thatsit]

Haha that would be great
this thread was funnier than I thought it was going to be

[crichton47]

Awesome read Nitro, great. Really inspired. You should be a writer (if you're not already!)

[Trumpetplyer23]

Nitro, you get a cookie for such a great post! That was hilarious!

We've established that the Bible would have been rewritten. So that means every anti-gay church/Christian group would be against heterosexuality.