Ok so I was watching this: [YOUTUBE]pAbBPiYEzS0[/YOUTUBE] And I was wondering, after seeing two comments about it, How do you guys and gals feel about inter-racial and inter-generational relationships? How would you feel about it? Would you be worried about the other person perceiving you as a "fetish?" especially with all the "tropes" i.e (White(Power/Better Overall), Black(Anatomy, Heartbreaker, Primitive), Latin(Passion/Anatomy), Asian M./W.(Small Anatomy, "Freaky") etc.(Keep in mind these are the ones I heard from my own experiences and slight research so if you know more, just add it). Now before we get going let me lay out some rules: 1. I do want your honest opinion that's why i'm asking. No short "Love is Love"(which is always true but remember every relationship isn't love :icon_wink), go into some details. 2. Lets not turn this into an arguement. 3. Lets keep the language appropriate. Because, in all honesty, it's never been that serious. ---------- Post added 23rd Mar 2013 at 07:51 PM ---------- Yay!!! the vid posted. :eusa_danc Woot woot woot!, woot woot woot!! (!)
I don't have a baseline issue with interracial or intergenerational relationships Some keys to successful relationships include things like compatibility and similarity on a whole slew of different topics. As has been mentioned over the site a lot, intergenerational relationships have this issue in that both parties may not be in the same stage of their lives. For example, a college-age student dating a 50 year old is not necessarily doomed to fail, but will not likely work out, as both parties have their own lives (that are VERY different from one another) to deal with. I think with interracial and intergenerational relationships there are many more pitfalls before hitting a successful relationship. It isn't impossible to make it work, but arguably much more difficult to. This probably applies less to interracial relationships in a lot of places in the world where diversity is more present, as individual cultural values may be less strictly held.
Interracial I mean, I'm white and I find latinas/blacks/natives/ect/ect pretty hot. There's hot and interesting people in every race or country, so... i'm on board. Intergenerational couples.. that's harder. I think it depends on several things. First, the maturity of the people involved and second how large the gap is. I do think it's doable, but some extra problems may arise. Personally, I wouldn't object to dating an older person, as long as I was attracted to said person. :eusa_danc
You guys have no idea how obsessed I am with darker skin. I really think they are beautiful and they have a glow that makes me fall for them. And intergenerational, I don't really care about other people dating someone who the age gap is huge. I mean, if they are happy, that's all that matters. But I don't know if that's for me. If the age gap is like 5 years, I'd go for it, because there are some similarities in our lives, but if it's more than that I think it might get complicated. BUT, there are always exceptions, so, anything could happen. But as everyone has said, it all matters if everyone is in the same stage of life, and that's not what happens everytime, right?! But I mean, as long as the people involved are happy, I guess that's what all that matters, but sometimes it can work.
No short "Love is Love"(which is always true but remember every relationship isn't love :icon_wink), go into some details. Boo When someone has made frequent comments about how pale my skin is/how young I look I have stopped and wondered whether a large part of their attraction to me is based on anything but my personality. Especially when they've only ever commented on my skin colour/appearance. If someone is frequently telling me I look like a teenager/have soft skin/that they love how pale I am I start to feel a bit uneasy. Partially because I'm uneasy about people commenting on my appearance anyway, so that probably colours my entire opinion on the whole inter-generation/racial thing. As it stands inter-racial is less of an issue for me than inter-generational, but the moment someone starts making frequent comments on my skin/appearance I get uneasy. It's only happened twice, and both times I've felt like the major thrust behind the relationship was novelty. I do not like feeling like their entire attraction to me is based off of the novelty factor. With inter-generational relationships... again sometimes I have felt like the main reason they're with me is that I'm younger than them, and they either want to prove they can still hook someone who looks like a teenager* or try to reclaim their youth. That and I have found the gaps in our life stages too great. Sure I'm a boring old fart who likes the sofa, movie marathons and walking the dog, but I'm a young(ish) boring old fart who likes those things. As a young(ish) boring old fart the stage of life I'm in is generally far different from the stage of life of the older individual who is interested in me. As much as others can get over these differences, I find it very difficult. As for other people ... I really do not care. Two consenting adults are two consenting adults and they can do what they like, with who they like, however they like. *One or two have commented that they love the I look 16, and that makes me uneasy.
Interracial relationships are normal. I'm not sure why people make a big deal out of it. As said above, there are beautiful people all over the world and from all walks of life. Intergenerational relationships. What I define as intergenerational relationships is one person is seven years or older than the other person. There is nothing wrong with that. However, as stated above, it will be complicated, or difficult, to try and make it work. It depends on the maturity of both parties, and how dedicated they are to the relationship, chemistry, a bunch of other stuff. I don't have a problem with it, but it just IS harder.
It took a couple of interracial relationships for me to be born. I dont remember much about my grandparents, but my parents seemed to have a good relationship despite cultural and racial differences. Im not sure how I could not have an interracial relationship haha. I don't have much of an opinion on inter generational relationships. Its definitely not as common for me to see as interracial relationships, but i think that theyre just as likely to have true love, or passion, or whatever as relationships between people who are around the same age. Ive had crushes on guys my age as well as older, I don't know if I'd enter into a long term relationship with a much older man right now in my life, but Im not sure id turn it away if suddenly a wonderful older man that i fell in love with entered my life. I know one of the rules was no love is love stuff, but that is my honest opinion, which was another rule too. Some people might be into making either type of relationship into a fetish thing, and if they find each other to do that with, then good. For me personally if I got the feeling that the person I was with was with me strictly because of my age or because im mixed I would feel weird about that. Same as if I felt someone was with me purely because of the shape of my body. Whether its for physique, race, or age, I want to be valued by a boyfriend for whats inside over whats outside. But thats not how everyone feels.
Geez, race is still an issue? I really don't understand why interracial relationships *have* to be tough...I mean, both my parents are black, but on my mother's side of the family, the family line actually started off with white, Scottish immigrants, so if it weren't for generations and generations of interracial relationships, I literally wouldn't be here. xD I understand that there'll be cultural differences, but I've personally seen a shit ton interracial relationships, and they've all (yes, ALL) been successful, even the really older couples. I'm in an interracial relationship right now, and there haven't been any cultural problems at all. And if there ever are cultural differences in interracial relationships, it's important for each person to remember that the other person comes from a different background and have some understanding with regards to that. As for inter-generational relationships, I've only seen a couple of successful ones... I think there's a big risk for an imbalance of power (the older taking care of the younger and, after some time has passed, vice versa). But I say go for it if you want. People just need to understand the risk of that imbalance of power, being at different places in their respective lives, and having things in common.
I agree with this but sometimes I feel like people uses "not being alike" as an excuse to keep themselves from having to question their own perceptions. And I know we can't make anyone do anything but you gotta admit, if people were less hesistant to draw such defining lines, bigots would be nearly extinct and more people would be truly informed. (*hug*) I had to push you. How else were you to grow in mind?... I can relate to that but not in the same instance. For some reason, when some people meet me they expect me to be this "bad-ass" that doesn't believe in the law or something like that when intruth i'm only a rebel when the law/rules have failed me. :lol: Basically, they expect this wild person who doesn't care about anything and when alot of them see that isn't me, they haul butt the otherway and it confuses me everytime. And if not the people who want me to be that, it's the people who judge the hell out of me beforehand....Sometimes I feel like i'm going to be so alone but Lesbians are my saviors. I tend to hit it off with Lesbians and straight girls asap. That's definitely a pet peeve of mine. I hate the idea of being used in any aspect. Thats how I feel. I think there is way too much "good" in this world, and others, for us to solely focus on the "bad" or wild. I am a open person who would love to get to know people whose life, home, friends, skills, etc are different from my own. The idea that people have this "you, here. Them, there" attitude is annoying. I know me and everyone on the planet aren't going to be bffs but I would still like to know a little bit of your story. Atleast so I can have been exposed to it. :lol:
It's just an issue of compatibility. A black guy who grew up in Europe is far more likely to be interesting to me than a white guy who grew up in, say, Laos. Now, seeing that all around me are just white guys, I might say I'm attracted to white guys, but that would be incorrect. I'm just attracted to guys who I understand and who can understand me. These tend to be white around here. Also, they tend to be approximately my age. Of course, I'm talking about long-term attraction forecast. Short term is a spur of the moment thing anyway.
Oh definitely - if people were open to more things, there'd theoretically be less discrimination all around. In terms of relationships though, the adage "opposites attract" doesn't really hold true. It can help with initial attraction, but as a relationship progresses, the differences between two individuals may be too large to overcome.
First of all I would like to say what sort of relationship I feel is the most significant when talking about this topic. A genuine relationship between people would be with somene you have known for a long time, someone you trust and are willing to go out of your way for. Someone who would do the same for you because they want to. I'm used to inter-racial relationships as it is all around me and I say that it is a good thing as they can work out. I must admit inter-generational relationships made me cringe when I was 10 because there was always the idea that the younger one may be using the older or that the older one will die sooner. However now that I am more mature and now that I am able to look at it from a different perspective, love comes in different forms. Loving and maintaing a relationship with someone who loves you back is something I'm finding hard to see ( too many bad examples for me ). If both are consenting partners in a relationship it is fine. And it is not a fetish to like someone because if you do have a long relationship it means they have stayed because they feel the same way you do with them: the relationship you have is worth it. It being many things which are significant to them. At least, that's what I feel wbout this.
I'm one quarter black (we think - My Mom has described my Father as a black man with bright blue eyes, so at the time she assumed he was half black (I've seen a couple photos but don't remember what he looked like). If she was wrong in that, then I'm half) with the other three quarters being mostly German and a dash of Cree Indian. I use the boxes on the EEOC forms to make pretty patterns To hear my Mom tell it, when I was conceived she told my Father he had served his purpose and could go now. One of these days I should probably find out whether she's kidding when she says that... Here in VA, inter-racial relationships are pretty common these days. There was a 20yr age difference between my Mom and my dad (NOT my Father, thank you). Their marriage was pretty much a complete disaster of epic proportions, but none of its failures had anything to do with their age difference that I ever saw. That was never really an issue. There is a 13yr age difference between my partner and myself (I'm the younger one). We get along just great (and have for 16yrs now) and age has never been an issue. Given his family genetics (his grandmother lived to be 103), we consider it entirely possible that he will outlive me. Todd
I'm half Asian and half Caucasian, so I'm cool with interracial relationships. ;P I look more Asian than I do White, so I worry about dating someone with an Asian fetish. When I was dating men, there was a guy who had a purely Asian dating record, which I didn't find creepy until after we broke up. Intergenerational is a bit trickier for me. I'm right in the middle of the range for Generation Y, so I would not be comfortable dating a member of Generation X (1965-1979). That's just way too old for me; we would have nothing in common. Dating someone from Generation Z (2001-Present) would be illegal, and those orange jump suits just wouldn't be a good look for me.
I'm biracial so it would be pretty hypocritical of me to be against interracial relationships. As for inter-generational, I think that if two people love each other or believe that they could love each other than there is nothing wrong with it. I feel that any relationship between consenting adults who are of a stable mind is fine because it doesn't affect me what others do in their private lives.
I fell in love with a girl whose biracial... I didn't really think of her as any race for a long time because I'm pretty colorblind (I never really hang out with other white folk really besides family...). My mom teased me because she said "Imagine how your uncle would react if you two had gone out and he found out you were in an interracial lesbian relationship!" I LoL'd so hard. He'd have a field day! As for intergenerational... my mom is ten years older than my dad... anything over that is kinda weird for me personally but hey if someone's into that kinda thing I could care less... it's not my life!
i am mixed-race (asian/hispanic) and my partner is white. my parents (esp my mom) took some flak from their parents for their interracial marriage, but that was a long time ago. my partner doesn't see me as a race, she sees me as the person she loves, and vice versa. it's just a relationship, like any other.
