What do you think about pedophiles?

I honestly feel sorry for them. If it really is a sexual orientation just like being gay is, then it's a bloody awful, awful condition for them to be in.

While therapy is the only way really, just think about the uproar that "gay-conversion" therapies get when people suggest them. I know people aren't trying to convert pedophiles to "not-pedophiles", but trying to reduce their urges. But it's one and the same for them.

Where did you read that most child molesters aren't pedophiles? I'd like to read that.

 

My recollection is that most child molesters are not pedophiles, but pedophiles are much more likely to re-offend.

 

I think that I'm in the minority because I genuinely believe there's nothing wrong with having those feelings unless you act on them. To me, "acting on them" meaning molesting a child, exposing yourself to them, or watching child pornography (wherein real children are exploited). Anything like that.

Lolicon/shotacon is fine. That's just fiction, and seems like it would be a healthy outlet for those desires, one which doesn't involve real children being hurt.

 

A part of me does feel sorry for them, but the other side of me see's that innocent child that has no idea what is happening to them.

Is it an orientation? Or is it just an addiction to sex? Maybe they target children because they know that they are more vulnerable, not because they're attracted to children.

I do understand that they cannot control their urges, but I unfortunately agree that they need to be locked away in order to protect children. It's probably impossible for them to have those feelings and not act on them throughout their whole lives.

 

As long as they don't hurt a child then I feel bad for them; but as soon as they do I'd want them to hang.

 

I feel sorry for them. It must be so hard especially for those who realize their attraction isn't healthy and they can never act upon it. I don't think it is an orientation, though. From my understanding it's a disorder. One that's (mostly?) uncurable.

 

My opinion is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a pedophile. Having attraction to whoever/whatever is not something anyone chooses. They cannot be looked at any differently for it. In order to protect children, these people need to be helped. They should have counselling, therapies if needed, support groups and so on. They should be allowed some form of satisfaction through maybe computer-generated images or something (I don't know if that's helpful at all, but it shouldn't be frowned upon a priori).

I agree with the comment on psychopaths. Actually, that's how I would sum it up: child molesters are psychopaths; whether they are also pedophiles is a whole different question.

So, what would you do with the "Kinsey 3"s of the pedophile-notpedophile spectrum?

I'm somewhat disappointed by this type of reasoning. It is the xenophobic, wrong, old-school, horrible type of "solution" to lock people away, to castrate them, to remove them or what they are from the "normal" society. I have to believe that as a society we've come to the point where being civilized means at least "ask before shoot".

Your post looks as if you consider being a pedophile and being a child molester the same thing. That's just wrong.

 

I agree. I also feel it is a shame that those who have those attractions and do not act upon them dare never share their burden with others due to how they'd react.

Genuine paedophilia is an attraction and it really cannot be helped. However acting out upon those attractions is a choice; those who blame their attractions for their actions are, in my humble and uneducated opinion, as bad as those who blame women wearing revealing clothing for why they raped them. I am not entirely sure locking people up does anything to advance our understanding of how to best help people who are genuinely attracted to children.

I mean, you have men (and women...) who are heterosexual who will, without hesitation, molest and rape other men (and, of course, women). This is not down to their attraction to the same-sex, but the actions themselves. There are those who sexually abuse children not because of an attraction to children, but because of the actions, and I think that is something we really need to differentiate if we are to make genuine progress in this area.

People will not seek help because they do not want people to assume they are child abusers, and that is a terrible thing. From my personal perspective at least. People who have an attraction to children do need a support system and unfortunately many do not receive this.


I'm getting onto a soapbox, so I'll stop.

 

I really don't think its a sexual orientation. It seems more of a paraphilia. A few weeks ago, I remember reading an article on that Quinsey fellow who claimed psychologist are claiming its an orientation. Seems more like a gimmick to "normalize" pedophilia and usually they liken it to the gay marriage movement.

 

I really feel bad for people with fatal attractions because I can relate to them! (Not the children aspect but knowing how frustrating it is to be attracted to "the wrong people")

Please just don't hurt the children.

 

Yeah, I liken it more to a paraphillia than an orientation, but I can't say I know anything for sure. I feel really bad that they have to go through that, and there's no "cure."
Funnily enough, I saw quite a few of these people on a Christian forum I lurk at. I am not relating this in any way to Christianity, but I think they genuinely don't want to feel this way. Many people with it at least. So I try to keep pedophillia separate from child molesters/rapists. You know, people who act on it. I heard officially "pedophile" actually means someone who has acted on it, is that correct or no? If that's the case, I can see how someone with these feelings could freak out a therapist if they say that word going in.

 

Pedophiles are great. I love pedophiles.

 

As others have said, it is the act of molesting the child, not having the attractions in the first place, which is morally wrong. I have no business condemning someone for something that isn't their fault, and doesn't hurt anyone.

 

Agreed as well. I honestly think it's okay, as long as it's not acted upon and no children are hurt.

 

I was an abused child. It was violence and not sexual, but it still destroys any genuine goodwill I might otherwise have had. I realize it's irrational to hate an entire group of people like that. I'm a little disgusted with myself even. I hate hate. But the hate is there and pretending it's not isn't doing me any favors. The bias you can't admit is the bias that defeats you is my philosophy.

But what I hate even more is the way the law handles the issue. They are, first of all, used just like terrorists with propaganda. If you want a law passed, just say it targets pedophiles. Nevermind that it screws a lot of innocent people. Nevermind that it even violates constitutional amendments. People will support it, because that's what hate does. It turns your brain off.

Also, I don't agree with the scarlet letter approach to sex crimes. I believe one of the whole reasons we have a criminal justice system is reformation. And this approach makes it impossible for a criminal to change their behavior, because there is no reward. I think the way we do things just promotes recidivism.

Also I think the law is a little ridiculous in some regards, and very inconsistent. I will always hate hearing about someone past their thirties in a relationship with someone who hasn't reached adulthood. But a senior dating a freshman is not a pedophile in my view. And someone who was tricked into sleeping with someone they thought was older than they were, isn't someone that was willing to hurt someone else to satisfy their own needs, and shouldn't be treated as though they were by the law.

So yes, I have to say, I do hate pedophiles. But I hate the inhuman way they are treated even more. And I hate the way they're used as an okay to hate group, and people's tendency to act on their hate with pitchforks and torches, even more than that.

 

I agree with this^

This is also one of the reason why I was so conflicted over my views regarding incest. Like pedophilia, having feelings for one's family members is considered "gross" and "wrong", but this leads me to think- doesn't these same labels apply to us homosexuals a mere 40 years ago?

Ultimately though, I think the only thing that keeps these two things illegal are social conventions (i.e. Policy). Having these desires, in my opinion are OK. It's just important not to act on them.

---------- Post added 24th Mar 2013 at 10:57 PM ----------

why?