Okay, I don't mean to offend anyone, but I am in a serious relationship (in love) with my lovely American boyfriend. Its kinda long distance since he is only over here on occasion, I am trying to save the money so I can go over to SC to spend some time with him over there since his sister and friends really want to meet me. Anyway when he was last over here, we were in a pub watching some footie when one of my friends said "I am going for a f*g" back in 10. My boyfriend got offended and I had to tell him he meant cigarette. Apparently it is deeply offensive across the pond, why is that, I don't understand how a word for sticks for burning meant something so derogatory.
Unfortunately, it's a slur, meaning something along the lines of "nancy boy" if that holds any relevance in Ireland, that has/is used too commonly in our neck of the woods but the good news is we're working on it.
This question has a complicated answer. The word “faggot” has a long history of violence and sexism, and it is important to realize that history and that pain is still alive in the word as we use it today. The word “faggot” comes from old French “fagot” which literally meant a bunch of sticks tied together. During the European inquisition in the 1300’s, people accused of heresy or witchcraft would be burned alive using faggots. Also, the people being burned were often forced to carry the “faggots” to the fires being built for them, which made the word take on a meaning of burden and something difficult to bear. This meaning was often applied to women as a sexist slur. The use of the word “faggot” as a gay slur came from the U.S., though may be linked to British all-male boarding schools in the 19th and 20th centuries. During this time younger students took on many tasks for the older students ranging from collecting bundles of sticks for their fireplaces to having sex (often unwanted). To be someone’s “faggot” meant that you were submissive to them. Eventually, the U.S. definition of “faggot” started to be used as a slur against feminine or flamboyant men. Now, it is also used all over North America as an insult to anyone, based on the homophobic belief that being considered gay is the ultimate humiliation to straight men. As for “gay”, it comes from the French “gai” which meant “happy” “bright and showy” or “carefree”. In the 16th and 17th centuries, it began to be used to describe people that “didn’t care” about the moral outcomes of their “indulgence in immoral activities”. This applied especially to men who had many female sexual partners, but also to homosexual men. In the 20th century, people began reclaiming the word “gay” by removing the negative associations from the past and using it as a way to positively tell themselves apart from straight people. “Gay” seemed a more natural fit than the word “homosexual”, which many people felt was too clinical, and “queer” which was still mostly used as a negative term. As always, before using a term to describe someone, you should ask them if it is ok. While some people have chosen to reclaim certain terms, like gay, queer, or dyke and make them positive, others may not feel comfortable with them based on their negative feelings about the way those words have historically been used to hurt them or others.
True. But I think it highlights the importance of understanding that even between English speaking countries cultural differences can result in misunderstandings evolving from what are, in essence, non-offensive things. Fags and faggots for me are cigarettes and lumps of offal. It's only through actively getting to know people outside of my bubble and then only through them describing things they find offensive that I realised I need to either be wary about the things I say. If they had not brought up the fact they found those terms offensive I would have not even considered needing to ask whether referring to cigarettes and lumps of offal would cause offense. Especially when I was not referring to them or attempting to describe them.