Do You Regret Not Talking To A Crush?

I am in one of these. I have only conversed with him one time, and HE IS GAY. he is open about it, and I am not out... Life sucks.

I got up the guts to put a sticky note in his locker, anonymously, that said, "I think you are cute."

I hope he read it...

He is in ninth grade, and we pass each other in the hallway during each break. That is it.

 

I'm a bit older than you, so simply where you say school I say job.

I had a huge crush on a guy. By far, immeasurably stronger than any crush I ever had. He was from another country and I only saw him a few times a year. I went crazy over him and it completely changed me and my life. He is the reason, the turning point at which I had to come out to myself.
Last year I was quitting my job, so there would be no further chances of seeing him any more. At that moment I could choose to speak to him or disappear in anonymity. I chose to speak. So, in the middle of this huge meeting, with all these people around, I came to him and asked for a private word. I told him that from the second I first saw him I was enchanted by him, that after seeing him that first time I couldn't lie to myself about being gay anymore. Then I said that I needed him to know that because I would regret it otherwise. I said I don't expect anything from him, that I understand it's an awkward thing to process. He said that he understood how much courage that took. Then he blew my mind by saying that he is gay as well. But he immediately added that he's in a stable, long term relationship with his boyfriend. He offered his help in dealing with my sexuality and he did help me. We talked a lot and it was great.

Had I not done it, I would regret it very, very much. I now don't see him anymore and I probably never will, but I still have a deep crush on him. He's just perfect

 

Yeeesss, so many times over. I'm afraid of seeming like a stalker, or of not being interesting enough to hold their attention.

If my crush were single, I would definitely make more of an effort to get to know her. As it is, I don't want to jeopardize her current relationship so I just mind my own business.

 

I'm afraid I won't be of much help in giving you advice on how to approach this situation, but I do have some personal anecdotes.

I definitely regretted talking to two such people in my high school years because I made a fool of myself with each of them (being extremely socially awkward as I was).

The first person was a girl who had just graduated from high school as the valedictorian of the class two years ahead of mine and who I admired for being highly intelligent, athletic, and skilled at playing the french horn. We were exchanging emails about college preparations when I got a little too curious about her personal life, so she subsequently stopped replying. I can't really blame her. I also wrote something idiotic in her yearbook prior to her graduation, and that mustn't have given her a very good impression of me.

The second person was my RA at Governor's School in the summer before junior year. It was her intelligence that appealed to me the most, but she also had this fierce attitude that I thought was very cool at the time (and still do). After the closing ceremony, I said "it was nice knowing you" as my farewell instead of "I'm glad to have met you" or something of a similar vein that's clearly more appropriate. I don't think she liked me very much after that.

I regret more than anything that I was so socially inept and screwed up even my attempts at friendship with them. I do wonder from time to time about what could have been had I not said or written what I did--whether they would've become friends with me, or even more than friends. Even now, I wonder whether I should contact them after all this time (10 to 11 years), but it strikes me as rather characteristic of stalking behavior, so I nipped that idea in the bud. Besides, they'd likely long since forgotten my name.

 

I'd say that closure can be great for these types of things — if you're prepared to be turned down. In that regard, is it still worth it? Possibly. It depends on the person, and the crush, in question.

If you have a stable, supportive group of friends, I would say there's nothing wrong with letting a crush know that you like him/her. It's likely you'll be turned down, unless you know that they're gay.

In my case, I had a very big crush on this guy for over a year. If I'd had more support from friends and peers my own age, I'd probably have told him about my crush on him, just for a sense of closure for myself. It's likely I may see him around, though, just out and about. It's happened a few times, completely by chance. And maybe one day I might tell him just to complete a chapter of my past.

Of course, with all this said, it can be thought of, or construed as, unfair for the person who's being told all this. They might not react favourably and all, and it could damage your relationship with each other (if you have anything tangible between each other, anyways). Still, though, I stick by my words.

 

There's a first time for everything, I guess, and that's the time when one makes mistakes. In the case of school boy (or girl) crushes, there may not ever be a second time, but that is sadly how life is. In my case, it wasn't that I was admitting my crush to them (I didn't even know I was crushing on them at the time), but that I couldn't even communicate with them without making a fool of myself.

 

Ugh! These posts just get me.
I kind of regret not talking to a dude. We worked in the same store and I'd see him a few times a week. I worked a register and sometimes crush would pay for his lunch with me. :love: I never said anything though. I can't speak to humans. And he was kind of quiet as well.
Thinking back I had plenty of opportunities to have a private word with him, but I never took them. :tears:
And I know I caught that hot fool looking at me several times and when I'd notice he'd quickly turn his beautiful head.
*el sigh*

It's been like 2 years now. I wonder if he still works there. Maybe I should stalk the store. :badgrin:

 

This happens all the time to me. There was this really cute senior at my school last year, but he graduated before I could strike up a conversation with him. One thing that kept me from talking to him is how he was completely out, and how I'm completely in. I really should have said something, because even though I live in a fairly large city, I've never had a conversation with or met anyone gay before.

 

I do. He was one of the few people who I felt compatable with and might have liked me back. He fell off the face of the earth the year I was going to talk to him about my feelings. :/

 

when I was 14 I had this crush with an older boy was in the next year at school he lived round the corner from me so we traveled to school together and hung around after school .
we played football for the school so I had seen him in the showers & changing didn't dare tell him he was defiantly straight and he would have killed me so am sort of glad I kept it to myself .

 

I don't regret saying nothing because 1. They're probably straight and 2. The likelihood that we would've stayed together forever is low. Better to remove myself from unnecessary drama.

 

In middle and high school, I became completely hung up on this guy Ryan. Call it superhero syndrome or whatever but here's how it happened:

I was not the most popular kid in school and was picked on. One day, I was on the verge of tears from these guys bulling me and in comes Ryan, popular and a jock, he told the guys picking on me to stop and put his sunglasses on me and said I "look cool." From that day on, I was infatuated and I think that might've been the moment I realized I might like boys.

Throughout high school, we remained acquaintances and I got over my crush on him...Or so I thought...

Flash forward to last year, I was talking to my best friend, she went to the same university as Ryan, and she told me that she walked in on him making out with a guy. Upon hearing this, the first thing I thought was, "Why couldn't that have been me?" LOL

But now, I know I'm definitely over Ryan cause I have a new crush whom I'm friends with but he has a boyfriend and I wish that I had acted sooner.

 

In the first story, I wish we had kept contact. In the second, I wish we hadn't met.

I met a girl once at an academic competition, and I was absolutely enraptured by her intellect. And also, I thought she was pretty cute.... Anyway, I gave her my phone number, but she never called me back. You can say that I was saddened.

A couple years ago, I had a crush on a girl who was a year older than me. I introduced myself to her, but we were never quite friends. We communicated through a string of letters (well, mostly I just wrote to her and she never replied). I delivered them to her in the hallways of our school. I got too attached, and things got pretty awkward. She moved to New York last year, and I haven't spoke with her since.

 

i have had this crush on this guy that i see in the library for just over a year now. He is fairly average but there's jsut something about him that i like.

Although i could still speak to him., i don't have the balls to. I wish i did though. If things go bad, so what, i dont have to speak to him again. But my out status does make things harder. This could perhaps be testing the water a little if you are not out. In some cases it may be easier to talk to a stranger about it.

i really like him but i just cant speak to him....in two moths time i will never see him again. I know i will regret it, but i am just too shy...

if you have any amount of courage, just go for it!

 

Dude thanks so much for posting this.. I recently came out like that and under those circumstances.. I wanted to describe it but I couldn't and you just did. Thanks so much, lol I thought I was the only one who went though that

not really on the other country and seeing a few times a year.. but everything else was dead-on lol.

 

I regret being friends with him, that's what I regret.