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I'm done.....

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Alexander69, Mar 27, 2013.

  1. Alexander69

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    My mother and I agree yet again over nothing and I'm not going to waste my time explaining. I'm just so done with her I told her I want nothing to do with her anymore I am not going to Bahamas with them this week I want nothing to do with her I told her I fucking hate you with out father you are nothing at all I'm so done with her bull shit from this moment on I am not talking to my mother again I told her I don't want to talk to her I want nothing to do with her stay away from me this is my life my choices you have no say anymore I said when I leave I am not coming back to see her she won't have a second son anymore. In so sick of her I HATE HER SO MUCH SHE IS SUCH A BITCH
     
  2. I'm sorry. I'm not going to pretend I know what's going on or give advice about something I know f*** all about, I just wanted to say that whatever the situation.... I'm sorry.
     
  3. sexyalex

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    Okay....but why? where is all this emotion coming from? What has she done to make you angry?
     
  4. Alexander69

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    She's disrespectful! And I'm so done with it. She told me not to eat anymore so bitch DEAL if I die its on her not ME
     
  5. sexyalex

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    She told you not to eat??
    Is that her way to telling you to go on a diet?

    Look, mothers can be crass at times and they do things out of impulse all the time. As a caribbean child, I can testify to a black mother (not African american) beating her child and telling him to go f*** his mother when SHE is his mother. It happens all the time, here.
    My mother even once told me, in a heated argument that she hates me and I did take it to heart 6 years ago. But as I grew, i realised that no other adult could speak to me in that manner (especially infront of her). It's just a mother thing. They believe they brought you into this world, so they control you however they like. But make no mistake, you're still the most precious thing to them. Even if they don't make you know it.

    My 2-sense is to avoid your mother for a few weeks. Ignore her, channel her out, stay over a friend's house if you can. Don't exchange more than social mannerisms to her (good morning, good evening, etc.) and give her time to figure out what kind of parent she wants to be. But a useless feud between your mother will not make you happy.
    It's only going to leave a bigger hole in you.

    cool?
     
  6. starfish

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    I tell ya Alexander one day we'll have together and trade mom stories over a couple of beers.

    I'm thinking some time apart would be good.

    I'm the better part of a decade on the other side of this so it is easy for me to say this. Try not to get emotional, it just won't help. In her mind she is right and whatever you say she'll just dismiss as you being upset and irrational.
     
  7. Chip

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    Alexander,

    The challenge here is, no matter how much we can consciously say we hate our parents, most of us, deep down, will continue to seek their approval, even when it is never forthcoming. Your mother, from everything you've said, is a shallow, self-centered piece of shit. Of course she's that way because of her own insecurities and shame. But that's her cross to bear, not yours.

    So I think just staying out of her way, avoiding her in every way you can, and minimizing contact with her is the best route. Once you move out of the house and are living on your own, she'll be able to decide if she wants to try to have any sort of relationship with you, and you are then in the position of dictating the terms of the relationship, and she can either honor them, or choose not to engage with you.

    In the meantime, the less you interact with her, the happier you'll be, I think.
     
  8. Alexander69

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    I guess that's her way, I way 130 POUNDS I don't think I need to lose anymore. Yet she calls me fat still? I HAVE NO FAT ON ME! So I haven't eaten today :/

    ---------- Post added 27th Mar 2013 at 08:18 PM ----------

    I haven't talked to her since that today she tried to talk to me so I fell asleep so I could ignore her. She acts like she didnt do anything wrong and thus what upsets me the most. But like idk I really wanted to go on vacation. I dot see how this will be comfortable but Idk my father was upset that I said I wast going he asked me to "reconsider and to act like an adult not a child by threatening to leave and seperate myself from the family." I said I wasn't trying to threaten I'm so done with mother acting so bitchy and rude to me.
     
  9. Chip

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    It will take some time for *both* of your parents to realize that "acting like an adult" does NOT mean just doing what they say, or taking what they tell you as gospel, and that's what they seem to think.

    I think you can simply tell your father that you're just not interested in going on a vacation with the family at the moment, particularly given the friction with your mother.

    One other thing you can try -- though I won't promise great results -- is having a frank conversation and saying that respect is something earned, not given, and when your mother berates you, talks down to you, invalidates everything you say, and questions your every decision, she's not being respectful to you, and you don't feel like respecting her. Point out that respect is a two-way street, and if she wants you to respect her, she has to show you respect as well, as that's how adults communicate.

    She may not "get it" but if you stay home and she goes to the Bahamas by herself... perhaps it will give her time to think.
     
  10. Alexander69

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    Ok so my mom apologized which shocked the shit out of me. Anyways my father went and booked my trip to Italy....... I had mentioned it a month an some ago that I wanted to go..... So yet agin he has bought or tried to buy my happiness yet again...... Like I mean I'm sort of happy because I wanted to go to Italy but not like this I didn't want him to try to make me happy by doing this. I mean I am happy because I want to go but I wish he didn't do it by booking it to make me not mad at my mother. You know?
     
  11. Capichino

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    I would get the worlds hardiest b*tch slap by my mom and my brother would ...
     
  12. DannyBoi66

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    Wow. I'm really sorry aboout all this... :frowning2:

    But I hope you can get through this time, and :goodluck:
     
  13. Alexander69

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    Awe thank you ❤
     
  14. Chip

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    And that's where you have to sit and think really hard about what's most important to you. Going to Italy would be cool, it's something you want to do, and your dad knows that so he's manipulating you by buying you what you want to buy your happiness. So I get it would be a very hard thing to turn down.

    The question to ask yourself is, how would you feel accepting the trip? How is accepting the trip different from accepting the car? What are you willing to take, and what are you not willing to take?

    I don't have any clear answer for you... it's something you need to decide for yourself, and I think there are sound arguments on both sides.
     
  15. tulman

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    Been there, done that. When I was 18 my parents were a big pain in the ass too.
    Mark Twain said, "When I was 18 my Dad was the dumbest guy on earth. When I turned 21 I was amazed at how much he learned in the last 3 years."
    'Ol Mark Twain was smarter than I was. It took me until about 30 or so to wise up. Then I spent the rest of their lives giving them the honor, love and respect they deserved.
    Listen, Kids: All parents begin the job as amateurs. It's a learn-as-you-go process. They're gonna make mistakes. I did and so will you. And we don't come out of the womb with a stamp on our ass, "100% satisfaction guaranteed". Life's not always fair and that doesn't make you an automatic victim. Wipe the tears away and deal with it.
    So your mother told you not to eat so much? Well, you showed her! You won't go to the Bahamas with them. You'd rather stay home by yourself. Way to go!
    Our Mothers actually had something in common. Mine told me not to eat so much too. She was right!

    ---------- Post added 28th Mar 2013 at 08:00 AM ----------

    You nailed it, Alex! A hearty handshake and hug for you.
     
  16. Rae

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    How tall are you ? You weight less than me (I'm 140 pounds), and my weight is at what it's supposed to be ... for a woman.

    I'm sorry about all of this, sometimes parents are huge jerks :/.
     
  17. Alexander69

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    I think 5' 11" or taller
     
  18. Chip

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    Tulman and Sexyalex: You totally don't get the history behind Alexander's story. This is not a typical "I don't get along with my parents" thing that most late teens experience.

    Alexander's mom, if you read his posting history, is a shallow, narcissistic, pretentious bitch with virtually no redeeming qualities. Alexander's decision not to go to the bahamas has little to do with a specific conversation about his eating habits, and everything to do with her constant, near 100% of the time disapproval of who he is and how he chooses to live his life, and her attempts to control him.

    Please be careful of the advice you offer if you don't understand the context. It can be really easy to fracture someone's just-developing sense of independence and self esteem.
     
  19. remainnameless

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    Why throw a fit? If you want to prove to them your NOT a child, that your NOT immature, then be THE BIGGER PERSON. Don't respond like a 10 year old, that's what my 18 year old brother does. She may be the lowest woman on earth, or you may just be acting out of context. Either way, don't act like it's the end of the world. It sounds to me like your dad threw in the trip to Italy to compromise so you don't freak out anymore.

    Sorry, but everyone seems to be beating around the bush, I'm going to tell you why I think is the truth.

    ---------- Post added 28th Mar 2013 at 02:46 PM ----------

    Cutting her out of your life doesn't fix anything.
     
  20. starfish

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    While generally true, some times you have to do it. I've had to do it before, and it is not easy, but there comes a time where you have to take care of your self. I don't know if Alexander is to that point yet, only he can make that decision.

    As Chip said there is quite a bit of backstory here.