"Gay Agenda"?

hold on, I am missing my red, green, and purple power..

 

I know, right? I haven't even flaunted my gay lifestyle in order to ruin anyone's wholesome family activities.

 

Abort mission!


Just joking. My gayness isn't even apparent.

 

no, I AM missing those colors. I am sure others have those colors

 

*raises hand* I'm missing orange.

 

How can one even be missing a colour?! That's not even physically — Oh wait. I'm missing blue and yellow. They have a little name tag with a heart on them, if anyone finds them.

 

*Darth Vader makes his appearance*

Breathing from behind his mask echoes throughout the room. He slowly steps to the Admiral of the Gay Agenda and says, "I find your lack of colors disturbing."

The Admiral of the Gay Agenda is lifted from the ground in a force choke. Vader releases his corpse to the ground and speeds from the room.

That's how it went down for me.

 

I think you get the handbook and agenda outline when you earn your first toaster oven.

 

toaster oven?

 

I want a grill, not a toaster oven.

Where do we get the grills?!

 

Yeah - when you come out as non-straight you get a signing bonus and a toaster oven. If you are not completely satisfied with your new orientation you can return them for a full refund within the first 90 days. However, the complementary mug and T-shirt are yours to keep

Also, if you can convert a straight into one of us, you can earn bonus rewards. And then when they start converting people, you get a percentage of their rewards. It's sort of like gay Amway...

Really, if y'all haven't been getting the newsletters on this, *someone* in the PR department is going to get a serious talking to.

Todd

 

Someone who has their entire rainbow can take all of our pieces, and we can build a rainbow bridge across the Atlantic for all those who live in the western hemisphere.

 

I came out during the recession. All I got was a handful of glitter!

 

It's been a while since I checked the bylaws, but I think you have to break up a straight marriage by same-sex seducing one of the people in it to get a grill. Although there was talk of opening it up to people who destroy straight marriages by getting same-sex married themselves (because apparently when two of us tie the knot, some random straight couple is required to get divorced whether they want to or not. I've heard it's run by the same people who handle Selective Service notifications (or was it Jury Duty? One of those anyway).

Maybe that's coming up for a vote at the next convention. It's so hard to keep track of everything dontcha know?

Todd

 

I dropped the ball, sorry everyone.