Is this normal or not? I've been putting some serious thought into it. I've always hated being around kids and I'm pretty sure I don't ever want to be a father. If I really wanted to have a child I'd probably adopt one instead of passing down my genes. I've always had this fear that if I had a girlfriend that my condom would break or her birth control won't work or something goes wrong and BOOM!, she's pregnant and I'm father of the year. I'd never push her to getting an abortion since I believe it's a choice she should make but I also feared I'd feel guilty if she got one. I'm really aiming to get a vasectomy. If I get into a relationship into the near future it'll probably be with a guy though it might work with a girl who'd be willing to do other stuff until the tubes tied. I feel weird posting but I needed to vent
Why can't you get a vasectomy now? A woman getting her tubes tied will be much more difficult. If you got the procedure done now, this fear might be at least a little alleviated?
I would not recommend getting a vasectomy. There are plenty of people that swear they'll never have children, but find themselves having "baby pangs" later on in life. Many of us are just not emotionally ready to have children, which is perfectly normal, but these feelings may change as we mature. You don't want to make any surgical alterations that you may regret later on. That being said, you don't want to put pressure on your partner to make surgical alterations, as she may change her mind later on. Just be responsible and safe. Wear a condom and ask your partner if she is on birth control. There are no absolutes, but there are steps we can take to avoid "accidents," like waiting to be in a committed relationship in which all possibilities and countermeasures are discussed. Hope this helps!
If you're 18, then it's too early to get a vasectomy. In my country, childless men cannot do it, according to the law itself. I also have a certain fear of children, though its much more related to the fear of being a terrible father for them.
I'm not afraid of kids, I just have no interest in having them now or in the near future. Same with marriage. Though, vasectomy at 18 seems a bit like jumping the gun, don't you think? With good judgment, birth control, and protection, it shouldn't really be an issue. You're overthinking this.
You're way too young. I'm pretty sure that places wouldn't do it, because they would probably say the same thing. Honest question - who are you sleeping with? If you're having random hookups, then you might want to rethink that instead of messing up your body. If you're talking about a relationship,then you have to have trust in the girl as well. Wear condoms - make sure she knows birth control is a big deal for you.
What's the point though? I'm so confused. Are you not having ANY sex now? Shouldn't you get over these fears and be smart about it? Then you won't need one, even then.
I hear you man, I seriously dread the thought of ever getting pregnant. I suppose I'd rather die than give birth. Scary shit. (*hug*)
I know what you mean! I have a horrible phobia of pregnancy (I would rather be dead than pregnant) and I don't want kids.
Damn my bisexuality. :lol: Shoo away boys! Possible trigger? Spoiler Also, I have a fear of being raped. Fuuuu-
I also don't care for small children for the most part (they mostly irritate me hugely) and had decided I had no interest in marriage or children some time in high school. I also considered the idea of a vasectomy to make absolutely certain that I could not produce children (not that I had any interest in sex with someone else at the time, but working from heteronormative expectations I assumed that at some point I would meet someone I would want to have sex with and they would be female and so pregnancy would be a possibility). Fortunately, I figured out I was gay in college and so would never have to worry about sex with women. So that was some thousands of dollars saved. Regarding the practicalities of the matter, it is quite possible (and not uncommon) for men getting vasectomies to have some of their sperm frozen and banked for possible future use, at least in the US. If you eventually decide to go through with the procedure you could do this as a backup in case you were to decide you wanted to father children at some later date. Todd
I wouldn't call it a "fear", but I never wanted children. Don't really like dealing with them, don't want to even consider it. When we played "house" as kids, I always played the role of the child. When I was a lesbian I was so glad it couldn't happen accidentally. As soon as I started dating men, I got my tubes tied. I had to talk the doctor into it, sign some forms, etc. since I had never had children and was young (under 30). I never regretted it.
