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Bothered

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by JustMe2602, Mar 31, 2013.

  1. JustMe2602

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    My mom knows about me being a lesbian.

    But when my mom talks about lesbians and gays. She uses the (in my opinion) offensive terms. I can't exactly tell you them cause I am Dutch and I don't know the exact translation. It bothers me greatly.

    Is this normal or am I just overreacting and making a drama out of nothing?

    (I already have tried to politely say that she shouldn't use these terms but she seems to ignore it.)
     
  2. BornInTexas

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    Maybe, since she lives outside of the US, only knows those types of terms? Next time you correct her, you could say, "Could you use <insert term here> instead?"
     
  3. Hexagon

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    Try being less polite next time.
     
  4. JustMe2602

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    I'm sure she knows other terms. But thanks for the tip!
     
  5. BornInTexas

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    Also, as Hexagon said, if it isn't getting through when you ask politely. Fire it up, and be less polite about it. It may seem awkward, or just downright mean, but hey, it might get through.

    Hope it helps.
     
  6. tommytwoways

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    if you've already tried asking her politely and she just ignores you; try reiterating your point even if you have to tell her quite firmly that you are being offended by these.


    you are not overreacting because everyone has there one views on things.
     
  7. Wolfie Charm

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    Definitely not overreacting. Have you approached her on the subject yet? Or has she said more if you are waiting until she brings it up?
     
  8. JustMe2602

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    I have said to her that she shouldn't use these offensive terms but she doesn't listen apparently.
     
  9. Wolfie Charm

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    Since asking on here and does she still do it?
     
  10. gordilocks

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    kill her & hit the road
     
  11. Boyfriend

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    Most people don't really think about the terms they use (often they use what they hear around them being used)and also, not everybody finds the same terms offensive, which makes it more difficult.

    I see the sme thing in colored people really. Some really make a big deal out of being called black and prefer African American, others call themselves black.

    My father is a Native American. People go out of their way trying to find the right term, and not calling him "an indian", while he has no problem with that at all. But some some do. It's very personal.

    Anyway, what I am trying to say is that even if you feel they are offensive and even if you have told her so, she might not MEAN to be offensive. And then it shouldn't really matter.

    If she would use "the right term" but with a disgusted look for instance, it would be worse, right?

    Try listen to what she communicates and not so much to the terms she uses to do so.

    Or just keep correcting her until it drives her mad. That's the only way, I think.

    But what if it's not your mom, but strangers using the terms? Do you feel the same, or is it like "she knows I am a lesbian, so she is insulting ME personally?"
     
    #11 Boyfriend, Apr 2, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2013