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Dealbreakers

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Januarydreaming, Mar 31, 2013.

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  1. Januarydreaming

    Januarydreaming Guest

    I was thinking about this for a while and seeing as there is no current topic about this, I thought it would be interesting to see what other people think.

    What would be the dealbeaker for you in a relationship?

    It could be anything trivial or serious, just post what you think would make you want to get out of a relationship.

    Mine would probably be if they cheated on me (especially if it was because they were bored of me).
     
    #1 Januarydreaming, Mar 31, 2013
  2. FeministFemme97

    FeministFemme97 Guest

    Bigotry (racism, sexism etc), being cheated on or if they were a fan of Justin Bieber :slight_smile:
     
    #2 FeministFemme97, Mar 31, 2013
  3. nikom87

    nikom87
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    Bigotry and violence/any type of abuse
     
    #3 nikom87, Mar 31, 2013
  4. Chip

    Chip
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    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Violence
    Cheating or any lack of integrity/authenticity
    Drug use
    Intolerance
     
    #4 Chip, Mar 31, 2013
  5. thebrightficus

    thebrightficus Guest

    ^^^All of the above, and includes...

    Judgmental attitude,
    Arrogant/Pretentious/Holier-than-thou/High horse attitude, etc.
    Ethnocentrism/racism/sexism/etc.,
    Obnoxious attitudes,
    Loudmouth (unless he's angry, which is usually a natural reaction)
    Rudeness

    And uhh there's more but I can't think of them all
     
    #5 thebrightficus, Mar 31, 2013
  6. Zannan

    Zannan
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    Location:
    WV
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Judgemental
    Cheated (especially since I'm open to pulomory so behined my back is just idiodic and rude.)
    Drug use
    Lies
    Silent treatment
    Pressures me
    Insults
    Abuse
    Bullies people
    And more but this is off the top of my head.
     
    #6 Zannan, Mar 31, 2013
  7. FruitFly

    FruitFly
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    Their view of religion. I could not be in a relationship with someone who felt the need to sneer and mock those who believe, religion as a whole, anything like that. Disagreement is one thing, as is not believing. Openly mocking people for believing, making it a point to sneer and be rather hateful towards everything falling under the umbrella of religion is another.

    Obsessive insect/spider/etc. killer. What I mean is someone who feels the need to kill every single creepy crawly in the house, the type who get all "KILL IT DEAD" when a spider runs across the floor. I do not kill creepy crawlies and I cannot live with anyone who has so little respect for life, however small and disgusting they may perceive it to be.

    I probably have some more, but they tend to change depending on the individual and where my head is at with the relationship.
     
    #7 FruitFly, Mar 31, 2013
  8. AKTodd

    AKTodd
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    I've ended a (troubled) relationship as a result of violence (not directed at me exactly but I could see that being the next step). When it happened, this voice in my head just said 'that's it, I'm done' and the next day I began taking steps to leave.

    When my partner and I moved past the dating stage, I told him I would not tolerate drug use in the relationship (drugs aren't uncommon in theater circles). He agreed and has kept that promise ever since.

    I can't say I've encountered any of the other issues that folks have raised here in my experience.

    Todd
     
    #8 AKTodd, Mar 31, 2013
  9. ForgottenRose

    ForgottenRose Guest

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    Location:
    Louisiana
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Mine are:
    Drug use
    Gauged ears, yucky
    Bellybutton Piercings
    Arrogance
    Piercings anywhere BUT the ears.
    Lying and Cheating
    Alcoholic
     
    #9 ForgottenRose, Mar 31, 2013
  10. Niko

    Niko
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    Drugs/Alcoholic
    Violence/Abusing
    Judgmental
    Cheating
    Intolerant
    Bigoted
    Bullies others.
    Rudeness
    ...that's all I know off the top of my head; but I'm sure there's more.
     
    #10 Niko, Mar 31, 2013
  11. June Cleaver

    June Cleaver
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    ^^^All of the above with the addition of;
    HE MUST PUT ME FIRST! Except his children and close family being the exception.
    Feels the need to have sex with women too!!!!
    lazyness
    being a con artist
    criminal behavior (the kind that gets prison time) Not speeding or jay walking
    be within 10 years of my age unless he is the exception
    and a big one for me is good hygene!!! and teeth that are clean if we are going to kiss...
    June
     
    #11 June Cleaver, Mar 31, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2013
  12. Oddish

    Oddish Guest

    I can't deal with a compulsive/pathological liar, a chronic smoker or drinker, or a person who gets off on tormenting other people. Or those special kinds of people who believe that their intellect is a gift from God (or perhaps genetics since a majority are atheists), who gloat, and gloat, and gloat. They irk me.

    I just want a nice, tolerant, compassionate human being to spend a good sum of my time with.
     
    #12 Oddish, Mar 31, 2013
  13. fairlyfey

    fairlyfey
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    Actually, I think I'm too forgiving.
    I mean, if I saw them murder like 20 people on the evening news I might take that as a red flag, but maybe I have to be more willing to dump someone who's a selfish jerk. :dry:
     
    #13 fairlyfey, Mar 31, 2013
  14. Acobi

    Acobi Guest

    Heavy drug use and smoking tobacco. Also their choice on if they want kids or not, since I want a family.
     
    #14 Acobi, Mar 31, 2013
  15. justinf

    justinf
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    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Aggressiveness
    Cheating
    Unhealthy amounts of jealousy
    Dependancy/clingyness
    Arrogance/pretentiousness/cockiness

    Anything else I can deal with.
     
    #15 justinf, Mar 31, 2013
  16. Bolin

    Bolin
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    ~Cheating
    ~Drugs/the smoking of anything (even weed)
    ~Excessive drinking (including getting drunk; self-control, especially over your senses, is very important to me.)
    ~Abusiveness (both verbally and physically)
    ~Deeply religious and/or political people - Politics and religion are two subjects I'd rather not talk about too much since they both trigger me and cause me to feel very stressed, so I could not be with anyone who was deeply entrenched in one or both.
    ~Wanting kids (I don't want children)

    ~Furry pets (like dogs and cats): Not a deal-breaker, per se, but I have very bad pet allergies. I already have to pop in allergy pills whenever spring and autumn roll around. I don't want to pop pills 365 days out of the year... If he wants a reptile or fish or something, I'd be okay with that.
     
    #16 Bolin, Mar 31, 2013
  17. Chip

    Chip
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    Out to everyone
    That usually comes about when you, deep down, don't feel like you deserve better. As you learn to love and believe in yourself, and believe you deserve someone who is kind, loving, and caring... then it becomes easier to stand up and say "Sorry, but this isn't working for me" and (to yourself), "I deserve better."
     
    #17 Chip, Apr 1, 2013
  18. ok455

    ok455
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    Location:
    Can't tell L!O!L
    Tattoos- One or two decent sized tattoo is fine i don't like sleeves
    Piercings besides the ears
    Drugs
    Liars
    Doesn't have a job or always broke
    The "Me" First attitude
    Smoking Weed
    Alcoholic- I'm fine with going out and having a few drinks but getting wasted is a turn off and embarrassing
    Can't hold a conversation and not good at keeping in touch
     
    #18 ok455, Apr 1, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2013
  19. Beware Of You

    Beware Of You
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    For me

    Current Drug use
    Objectifying Me (Only calling me a cute twink)
    Trying to make the relationship all about sex
    Being judgmental to others
    Drinking too much
    Any form of threats or forcefulness
    Expecting me to dump all my friends, or have nothing to do with other LGBT people
    Cruelty to others
     
    #19 Beware Of You, Apr 1, 2013
  20. falsereading

    falsereading Guest

    drugs, smoking, criminality, overly controlling/abusive
     
    #20 falsereading, Apr 1, 2013
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