Would you leave your partner if...

*NOTE: I AM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP. HOWEVER, THIS IS HOW I PREDICT MYSELF HANDLING A SITUATION LIKE THIS. ONLY SPECULATION, AS I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

If my partner, who I loved very much and spent years with ending up in a coma, I would be devastated, but through perserverance, I would stick with him, even if the prognosis was eventual death. They speak about miracles, and that is how I would see it. Maybe he could be a miracle patient. It would be hard to get through, but maybe it would be a miracle, and he'd come out of it and go through rehabilitation.

I wouldn't want to deal with just sitting there and talking to him with him not responding to me. Even though I am quiet as all getout in real life, I'd just want to talk to him constantly. I once read a story of this man who was in a coma, which was completely fictional, but he could hear EVERY word, but his body couldn't respond, nor could he speak. It was hard to read because I got very emotional. Stories like that get me. Especially since the ending was him hearing the doctor talking about something, and his wife was getting angry and mad at the doctor, and she was asked to leave. He stuck the needled in his arm, and the ending line was "the beeping stopped, and I cou-...."

This post seems to be getting a little babbly. I'll stop here.

If he was expected to never come out of it and die, I would only leave him after death and the mourning phase. I'd have to move on because that is how he would want me to.


It's really hard to see myself in this situation. >_< I feel bad.

 

I don't have a girlfriend, but if I did, I would never leave her if she were to become comatose. I would stand by her until her last breath.

 

I agree with the first few parts (that'd be how I see it, in theory, at least for a while).

As for the fictional story, that sounds heart-wrenching. I can't put myself through things like that, 'cause... I'd likely get quite upset for a while.

There's a story I read, which is allegedly true. The crux of it is that a patient was in a coma. He had a regular nurse. When he woke up, he knew her by name just by the sound of her voice, even though he'd never met her before his coma. Apparently, hearing is the last sense to go when someone is in a coma, if any senses are lost at all.

That was to illustrate a point, I guess, about how patients can hear things while in comas (at least some can, I mean). Also, diagnoses can be wrong, and people can get out of comas earlier than expected (if it was even expected or not).

It really depends, for me, about how long I've known the guy, how much we like each other, what the doctor says... I can't truly say what I'd do, but... For sure, I'd stay with the person for at least a month. The fact is that it can be truly daunting. It'd be a one-sided relationship for who-knows-how-long. Could I honestly handle that? I don't know.

I do know that I'd feel pretty torn up, no matter what, though. There's likely no right answer either way.

I'm not in a relationship, and I've never been in a deep one, as well. Therefore it might be best to take my thoughts with a cube of salt.

I'll say this to you, OP: You're taking what may be a harder path. Such devotion is respectable and admirable, and... I'm sure your boyfriend is / would be touched, to say the least.

 

I really don't know. If there is no chance of recovery, I don't suppose there is much logic in sticking by someone who will never wake up. If there is a chance of recovery, then I think I would stay.

I don't have a partner.

 

If there was a possibility that she would recover, I would stay by her side. If not, I don't know. I'd probably still stay because it would pain me to leave, but I'd have to let go eventually.

And yes, I have a girlfriend.

 

Boyfriend, I'm so sorry that you are in this situation. What happened to your partner is horrible and I can't even imagine how it felt for you

Well.. how to respond to this. I think we would all like to be people who would endure everything, who would be able to stay by the bed for months if needed, to be the first sight to him when he wakes up. I guess each of us would like to be the kind of person that never gives up. Sadly, or fortunately, we are not. Even if we stick around, we slowly give up.

I'm not in a relationship, but, knowing myself, I believe I would stick around, not being able to make a decision, all the time knowing I should, losing myself as much as losing him.

I really don't want to go on since I think it would potentially be hurtful.

 

I've never been in a relationship, but I know myself well enough to firmly say that I definitely would not leave my partner if she were to become comatose or even if she had some horrible accident that gave her some new disability. My love and loyalty would transcend any difficulties that may arise from the situation.

A few weeks ago for my Sex and Relationships class, I was reading a set of articles on how health affects relationships. There were all these studies done about how many people either leave their partners once they become diagnosed with some horrible disease (usually cancer) or stay with their partners but have affairs and become inattentive to their partners. The studies showed that men were six times more likely than women to take off once their partners became ill. Women are, in general, more willing to act as caregiver or to just stick around for love and/or loyalty. Men feel demoralized by having to care for someone, and they become more easily frustrated by the loss of sex. I'm not saying that this applies accurately to everyone or to gender stereotypes, but I just thought what I read in the article was interesting and pertained to this thread. If people are so quick to leave when their partners get cancer, I'll bet it's even more rare for people to stick around if their partner is in a coma.

 

If I am every lucky enough to have a boyfriend, I would stand by him through any medical condition. For me it is the vows you take when you commit yourself to another person. You take care of the other when they face sickness. I would try my best to be strong for him.....I know I would cry and be super worried for his well-being. I don't really want to think about what I would do if he wouldn't make it. Don't want to think about that.

 

It depends on whether you mean the hollywood/entertainment, "I'll just go to sleep for three years" coma, or a more realistic situation.

Modern medical practices have the capabilities to do things that go against the true boundaries of life. Many, if not most, individuals who are brain dead, or have suffered deterioration, are in vegetative states, or comas arent really fighting for their lifes, rather machines are working around the clock to do everything that their body would have done naturally. There is not as much this idea of "Taking their last breath" because they most likely wont be the ones doing the breathing anyway. Personally, I find it anything but loving to unnaturally perserve their body because I dont want to let go.

Miracles have happened in the past, but it hasnt been too long that we have been able to test brain waves and cellular health. Thoroughly chart improvement and deterioration. I'm not recommending that you throw in the towel the next day. Just that you be realistic.

 

I feel I would stick by my partner... I wouldn't expect that from anyone if I was in a coma, but I know myself, and Id stay.

 

if i really love this person (like really madly,deeply in love) then yeah with out a doubt i will have their back no matter what.... "love has no boundaries"

 

It depends on the prognosis, which depends on the cause and duration. As someone stays in a coma longer their likelihood of coming out of it drops quite significantly. Its not like in Hollywood where someone wakes up after 3 years, and can sit up and talk. I'm not exactly an expert on this, however at that point in the extraordinarily slim chance they "wake up" they would suffer from atrophy and many brain issues. Most comas only last a few weeks. If the prognosis was really low, I would probably give up hope after several months. I suppose it sounds pretty cruel of me; however, I'm a fairly big supporter of polyamory, so I don't really consider it that big of a deal. Eventually we just have to move on, and under the circumstances that they eventually wake I would presumably take them back into my life.

 

I have a partner and we've been together quite a while now. In the near future (later this year) we plan on setting up wills and various related documents As part of that I imagine we'll have this sort of discussion.

I will carry out his wishes on this matter, including discontinuing life support if that is what he says he wants.

On a more general note, I suppose I'm more in the camp of those who look at the circumstances (what sort of coma is this) and would base my decision on what the prognosis is.

Todd

 

Wow, that's pretty tough question. If I ended up in coma, I would rather my girlfriend move on because I love her so much. I want her to have a best life, and we all deserve the best. In realistic, if my currently gf ended up in coma, I would stay with her. She's so different from my previous girlfriends.

 

If my spouse was in a coma, I would stay. I am a super-die hard romantic so I would hang in there to the point of being obsessive-compulsive.

If I was in the coma, I would do my damndest to comeback but if I couldn't I would do my damndest to pull-off one of those "last moment dreams" and tell my lover that I love him with everything I have but we both need to be free, meaning he has to move on and allow me to do the same.

 

I most likely wouldn't. I am very much like Rory (from Doctor Who) when it comes to relationships.

I am very loyal to those I love, because it doesn't happen often. I would do whatever was best for my partner and love them through it all. I'm not the type of person to just give up. If my partner was comatose, you can bet I would be there everyday, no matter the prognosis. Even if there was absolutely no hope, I would still be there, no matter the time that passed. Even after she took her last breath, I would still be there, visiting every day.

However, if I was ever comatose, I would never want my partner to wait for me, even if it looked like I would recover. I just couldn't ever ask that of someone I loved.

I have had three people I loved go into comas so this isn't just me being idealistic.

 

I am in a relationship with a man named Mike. Lucky for me Mike knows how to fight so I feel I won't have this problem. So far since we have been together he has defended me twice to the extreme. If he ever has a major illness or such, I will NEVER leave his side not ever no matter the cost to me. Even if it meant my whole trust fund to fix him, I would spend every dime and sell my house and everything in it to the cloths on my back. See he is my soul mate, I mean so close I can read his mind and he mine. He gets a food craving at work and it pops in my head and I make it to find when he gets home he says "How did you know?". Stuff like that happens often with us. I have never had this happen before with another human. To give you the idea how close we are. If he was to become bed ridden lets say, I'd stick by him. I am a loyal woman to begin with, but this past week I found out how deeply he feels about me so I know his love for me is real. He is 37 and I am 40 so we are close in age too. June

 

I am no longer in a relationship. But, if I was still in a relationship with my ex boyfriend, and he fell into a coma, due to a serious accident, or due to any other cause; I would stay to the absolute end! I would fight with absolutely every means and resource in my power; to see him out of his coma!

 

I am not in a relationship. But if I had a girlfriend that I loved very much, I would never leave her side, even if she were in a coma.