college relationships??

IDK, I'm just going to be out and hook up with guys I know for a while; relationships will kind of be on the back-burner since I have to ace my classes or I'm out. It's going to be difficult for me being out since my school is local and everyone knows me as the diesel toting, game runner, whom is presumably straight :/.

I'm going to hit up social media and things like that, they aren't always the safest (Be safe, follow proper precautions) but there are a lot of young guys just out there just as confused/hoping to be active as you.

I wouldn't worry bout relationships, cause if things work they do and if they don't the effort isn't always worth the impact that a bad relationship can have on someone (Relationships come and go, worst thing I see is when people won't let them go).

 

yeah i couldnt do anything when i was in college coz i had a reputation from school which went to uni with me...

just a pointer, maybe relationship aint good as you need to focus on them grades but maybe the ocassional hook up wouldnt hurt...

 

This is not necessarily the case. Go to a GSA meeting. I think you'll find that there's more diversity in personality type than you initially expected. I can tell you from our QSA group on college, well, can't really put a gendered label on it but they're really all just a bunch of nerds. :lol:. Definitely not all "overtly feminine" (and not that that's a bad thing either, but it just wasn't the case with mine and I bet the same for UVA).


Anyways, aside from that - like some people are telling you, you may not have any time for relationships! I sure don't - or not fully-fledged one's anyways. But I suppose it just depends on who you are. For example my sister maintains a 3.8-3.9ish GPA with a full credit load and still manages to find time for boyfriends... (lucky...)


As far as finding people, I may be wrong in this but I always assume that more people = better LGBT dating pool. Maybe I'm wrong in that assumption, though (someone correct me if they think there are cases to the contrary?). So any relatively small college town is going to restrict your options somewhat. So I'm not going to tell you it'll be easy. But for all I know you're a social extrovert that's good at finding and meeting people, who knows? For what it's worth, I'm in a small college town and I do know a decent amount of same-sex couples - and that's given that I don't even get out that much.

If you do find someone, honestly there's not many large state universities where you're going to have much of a problem. Don't worry about it.

Ohh, hookups, eh? Well, I imagine you could find those anywhere, if you lower your standards enough. Just beware that that scene is essentially a meat market, and be sure and stay safe.

 

I hate to tell you, but this has been the most disappointing part of college for me. I've come to find out that most of the guys that are my type hang out in the closet for a few more years. I met one guy that turned out to be a dud. I've checked out a few of the LGBT organizations and events, and they're nice people, I just don't relate to any of them. Otherwise, I use the gay social networking apps/websites, and nothing fruitful has come of it despite going to a fairly liberal school with over 50,000 students.

Your experience may very well turn out to be different from mine, but I might suggest not getting your hopes up about college dating, and I wouldn't suggest hooking up either. There's so much schoolwork, socializing, professional networking, and general experiences to be had beyond relationships. That said, I still highly recommend coming out. It'll make you a much happier person.

Relationships can come later when you have a nice job in a big city with a good dating pool. Focus on getting good grades, joining organizations, taking on a new sport, saving up for a study abroad semester, etc.

 

You should definitely check the GSA out and see if it works for you. I'm at UT-Austin, which has a completely different LGBT vibe for all I know. I'm an ambivert, I'm pretty busy most of the time, and I don't exactly broadcast my orientation, so I'm likely gay networking all wrong haha. Also, you want your first time with a guy to be special. It'll be worth the wait.

Don't underestimate the schoolwork. UVA is a competitive school as I'm sure you know, so even if you transition seamlessly, the schoolwork will still a noticeable step up in difficulty, even if you did something like IB. You'll be competing to stay ahead of the curve with people who are of similar academic talent. I notice that people here assume that because they did well in high school, it'll automatically translate to doing well in college. They don't realize that everyone else that's in the room was also in the top 10% of their class.

I'm not trying to burst your bubble or anything. Just go into college with cautious expectations. I was in your situation two years ago, and it's definitely been a crazy, but fun ride.

 

This isn't just a UT thing, it is Austin in general. The gay community here, well dosen't really exist. The town is gay friendly, and there are lots of gay folk. Everyone just seems to be tied up doing their own stuff.

 

Freshmen: I had a several worst dating experiences.

Sophomore: I met my amazing girlfriend, and then I came out to my mom. My mom wasn't surprised about it, but she was upsetting about it. We are getting at there although, I'm totally happy and madly in love with my currently girlfriend.:icon_bigg

 

I don't know what major you're in.

I don't know what is your course load.

I don't know if you are being bound by scholarships or whatever to maintain a certain GPA.

I don't know if you are dorming or commuting.

But.

If you will be a college freshman, don't start dating to soon. Just see how you will fare with your classes, your interest, your experience. At least for the first semester, you know lol.

I know that there are people who can do so many things during college, since yo know, college is kind of building your career... but anyways, i am sure there are people who can handle a lot of pressure and still date. But whether they enjoy their life or not IDK

 

College is a time to explore and build your social circle. In my opinion, the last thing you want to do is tie yourself to one person.

It's awesome if you happen to meet someone and sparks fly, but you'll be miserable if you spend four+ years searching for a relationship. I've been on both sides of the relationship spectrum in college: A guy who was just as busy and was cool with a casual relationship, and another guy who wanted to spend every minute together. I am happiest when I am single, and when I'm able to go out with friends without feeling like I'm ditching someone.

You have the rest of your life to be chained to someone! Take the next few years to take risks, make mistakes, and focus on yourself.

 

Opps! I haven't finish to write down it.

First, congratulations on your acceptance to college (!)

My best suggestions is just don't be rush and take your time. Learn your time management before you start to have a relationship with a guy. Find for the settled in with a solid group of people, and it tends to take a while. I don't think you will have a hard time to find a person as long as you aren't picky or "play hard to get". However, we are luck because we attend at college in "almost perfect time" due to the fact that many people fight for marriage equality now. Many people start get accept and aware about the LGBT community. If I start attend to college in 30 years ago, I would consider about my gay lifestyle. Also, I must admit that I had to deal with homophobia comments from my friends or classmate. Most of time, I hang out with right people who accept who I am. Learn from my experience and use my common sense. Life is learn. I hope you enjoy your first year in University of Virginia. I bet you will :icon_bigg