As you can tell by my name, I'm confused. Here's my thread to see my story: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexua...ntity-support/85236-confused-am-i-gay-bi.html Anyway... I thought MAYBE some answers to these question may help clear things up... or may confuse me even more. Idk. 1. When did you know you were gay/bi? If you were in denial until you were 30, but had a feeling that you were gay/bi at 12. say 12. 2. Dreams. If you are gay/bi, did you have sexual dreams of people of the same sex for as long as you remember? Any dreams of the opposite sex? [not for bi people, because that's obvious]. Also, did you start having gay dreams after you knew you were gay, or were they happening before you really knew? 3. Masturbation with and without porn. Was it to people of the same or opposite sex? Was the porn hetero or homo? Thanks guys!
I started thinking I might be gay around 12/13, knew for sure at 17. I've had sex dreams about the opposite sex but that was years ago, maybe around 14. Masturbated to girls and straight porn until ~15. I still watch straight porn on occasion, but not regularly.
1. I'm not sure when I "knew." The first time I seriously thought I might be gay was probably my mid 20s. But I know I had same sex interest at least as early as 13, when I saw a guy my age nude the first time. 2. As for dreams, I don't recall any sexual dreams. (Making me some sort of freak, I suppose!) However, since I started this current questioning process, I have had one dream of telling a woman interested in me that I was not interested in her because I'm not straight. 3. I never saw porn that I can recall as a teenager. I never had any interest in seeing the Playboy magazines that some guys I knew had. (This is probably telling.) I did, however, have an old Sears catalog from 1940-something. (They used to have a very active catalog business.) Sometimes I masturbated while looking at pictures of guys showing off the latest 1940-something fashion in underwear. I have seen porn since I was a teenager. Straight porn leaves me feeling cold. It's only interesting intellectually. Gay porn is the only porn I have any interest in. I have used fantasy and imagination while masturbating, quite possibly from Day #1, whenever that was. And those fantasies often involved guys. Earliest example was about 13 when I saw a guy my age nude the first time (as mentioned above). The next time I masturbated, all I could do was think about his body. Sometimes the fantasies have involved straight sex, but my interest was on the guy, not the girl. Although, at the same time, I have to admit trouble imagining myself in a gay sexual situation. Even now. I have had fantasies about being with a woman, but I think those come from denial/society pressure. ---------- Post added 3rd Apr 2013 at 04:01 PM ---------- A couple of small corrections to the above: When I say I have seen porn since I was a teenager, I mean since that era of my life ended, not starting as a teenager. (I think I first saw porn in my 20s.) And when I say I have trouble imagining myself in a sexual relationship, I mean that as a masturbation fantasy.
1: I started to think I was gay at about age 11 and knew for certain at age 13, but I denied and hid it for a decade. 2: I have never had a dream about being with a woman, but have had several dreams about being with a man. The earliest one I can remember was about age 15 and in my dream I was giving a guy head and because I didn't want to get caught, fear took over and I woke up to find my head bobbing up and down, lol. 3: On and off both with and without porn. But I didn't start fantasizing about and watching gay porn until I was about 20. It's slowly been gravitating towards gay porn and fantisizing about men, and about four months ago it turned strictly gay porn and fantasies. That helped me to finally accept it about a month and a half ago. I would say this is too personal, but we've already crossed that line, lol. But I have noticed in the past week that since I have accepted myself and no longer feel shame and guilt while I beat off to gay porn, my orgasms are far more intense.
1. About fourteen 2. I've only ever dreamt of same sex encounters 3. Rather not say...:icon_redf but gun to head.... only ever really seen some fragmented straight porn,and it did nothing for me. My fantasies are exclusively girls.
Thanks to the people that replied so far! I'd like to get as many as I possibly can Also, I forgot to mention that if you for whatever reason feel uncomfortable answering one of the Q's, don't.
Knew (actually thought it out and came to the conclusion) when I was 21 and initiated a hookup with a guy for the second time. Before that I just didn't think about it much nor did it really concern me. My roommate my freshmen year in college asked me if I was gay or straight. My answer was 'I don't know yet'. My first experience with a guy was at 19 (I just treated is 'well, this is interesting and feels good', but didn't really think about it much beyond that). After a few hookups with him, I basically took a break for about a year because even the idea of any sort of relationship (gay, straight, whatever) while dealing with school and other issues wasn't something I wanted to deal with. Don't recall going through any sort of denial re being gay (at least of the consciously thinking about it or emotional distress at the thought kind), possibly some re being human. Almost never remember my dreams and don't recall more than maybe two dreams in my entire life that had any kind of sexual feeling to them. Don't remember any details about those, just woke up turned on and with the sense that I had been dreaming about something sexual. From a purely fantasy perspective it was opposite sex if doing anything along the lines of oral, intercourse, etc. Same sex fantasies were more of a circle jerk kind of thing. I pretty much didn't know that anything like gay sex existed nor did it occur to me that it might. Porn was all straight until college when I discovered the local adult bookstore and that hardcore porn and then later gay porn existed. Hope this helps, Todd
19 was the first time I put 2 + 2 together. Most of my sexy dreams are about sex with the same sex. That being said, I have had opposite sex sexy dreams I don't use porn all that often, but when I do it's usually of the gay variety. When it's to people, it's both sexes. I'm dealing with trying to accept myself too, so :goodluck:
