Bad Coming Out Responses?

I am also very interested in bad coming out experiences .... I have had some good responses but I have to prepare myself for my Father's response and it won't be good :-(

 

My best friend, who had a crush on me, told all of my friends that I'm lying, and a large amount of them stopped talking to me, but whatever

 

¨I wish you never told me¨~ Best Friend after a couple days. Glad he's cool with it now.

 

One of my cousins "Did your mom expose you to radioactivity or dropped you as a baby?"

However, this was last year, he's perfectly cool with it and regretted saying that.

 

"No you're not. You've just been hanging around so many people like that, you think you are." My mom. Yeah, she still has yet to apologize for it. Good news is i'm not holding my breathe anymore. :icon_bigg

 

I've only had bad responses from guys who are coming on to me. Pretty much every guy who I've told after he's flirted with me has either refused to believe it or claimed he could cure me. I'm tempted to buy a fake wedding ring to discourage them. (And I know it won't discourage some guys, but anyone who'd come on to a girl they believe is married or engaged is someone I'd be glad to reject.)

 

I met my best friend in 5th grade. In 8th grade, I told her I was gay. She said, "I'm not sure if we can be friends anymore." We never talked about it again and I didn't even think about my sexuality until I was in college. 11 years later, she and I are still best friends, and she ended up being the most supportive person during my coming out process.

Some people react poorly due to ignorance, while some are just hateful. There's always a risk of losing the person you come out to, but in the end, you have to trust that the people that truly love you stay.

 

Honestly, I don't feel I could ever come out to my parents, whatever I turn out to be. They love me, I love them, but just a few days ago we got into a heavy--but not loud--argument about gay marriage. It was my parents against me, and somehow it turned to anyone who isn't straight having a baby. My mom said, "If you don't want a baby, just become gay." And I asked but what if they want a baby, and she said then they should be straight, so I rebutted with IVF, surrogates, etc. She just sputtered out nonsense about becoming straight, and I found it really annoying. Both parents don't hate gay people, but don't support it. They say that we were put on this earth to make babies, so homosexuals, transgender, etc. do not fit into the mix. I'm most afraid of coming out to my parents, everyone else is basically collateral after that. Maybe when I'm 21 and moved out, I'll come out.... :/

 

I haven't had a bad response, but one that was funny comes to mind.
I told my friend I was transgender and didn't specify which way, so she thought I was FtM, and she's like "So wait. The whole time I've known you, did you have a penis?"
And then was completely cool with it.

 

"Well what exactly do you want me to do with that information?" - Mom
(It's now the elephant in the room, and never talked about, about 3 months later)

"Well I don't agree with your choice to be gay, I mean do you know how much this is going to hurt your parents?" - good friend
(He's totally cool with it and wants to meet the bf)

 

Two females, one my ex and the other the sister of my best friend's girlfriend, basically started hurling every and any derogatory term my way after we fell out. They were totally cool with it, until things went sour, so either they were faking acceptance or simply speaking out of anger and didn't mean it.

 

My Dad didn't have to be told he guessed which say me one hell of a conversation and he is cool with it - I am so relieved xxx

 

Over a period of three months, I've had my phone seized, been pushed around, forbidden from presenting male, slapped, cut off from my friends and support group. Been told "I don't want a son, I want a daughter" that being transgender is bullshit, "normal people don't feel this way" "I'm not going to have you mutilate yourself" "I know you're going to go through with this no matter what I say but I'm trying to save you. You're setting yourself up on a path to suicide."

 

Well just today someone asked me if I was gay during my science class at school. When I said yes, they shouted at the top of their lungs "Tylers Gay!". I wanted to punch him.

 

My mother burst into tears and my father told me I was nasty but they both have turned around and fully support me now.

 

I will go ahead and say that I came out as trans initially, before I came out as bi. So this is her reaction to me being trans.

"Why does this have to happen to me"
"Being trans is a choice" -Mother

After which she proposed seeing a psychologist and trying some kind of bio-feedback therapy to get rid of it. She said a number of very negative things on top of that. I can't un-remember that. I was at a really shitty point in my life. I wasn't suicidal but after a year of unemployment, a lifetime of loneliness, being dumped by the girl I was seeing at the time, and other bad things happening, it all sort of cascaded and I couldn't get out of bed anymore. I just stopped doing things. Noticing this, she confronted me and I came out to her.

When I did tell her I was bi, the response for a month was
"Why don't you just date women"

I had a feeling she would react this way, based on her prior negative reactions when I told her the girl I was dating was bi (which was true), as a litmus test, and the way she talked about an unnamed relative who was also queer, who she used as an example to denounce everyone else who was. Basically I was afraid of her for a long time, and she confirmed those fears.

My dad by comparison was cool with it. He had shitty bedside manner, as he often did. So he didn't offer much useful in the way of support. Not a great one with emotions, but at the very least he said he was totally fine with whatever I ended up doing.

So, gradually over the course of a year, after that conversation, I ended up changing my mind about it, saying I'm just genderqueer at this point with no plans to act on it. After that conversation I ended up having a good hetero relationship, which convinced me that I could enjoy being male and that I wasn't totally worthless to the world as one. My current gay relationship has helped to reinforce that.

She's gotten a lot better about it though and I've even taken my boyfriend on trips with her. In some ways I feel guilty highlighting her initial really bad reaction because in the years since she's been very sweet and supportive. But then, I can't help but think she's just very supportive about my being bi, and that the idea she could still have grandkids is what softened her up, and that beneath the facade she's still very transphobic.

 

I haven't had any bad ones. The only thing that left a bad taste in my mouth was a relative dropping the "d word" on me and another queer person saying it was hard to remember my name/pronouns because he always knew me "as a girl".