Transgender

A transwoman (MtF) who is sexually attracted to women would be labeled as lesbian, and a transman (FtM) who is sexually attracted to men would be labeled as gay. Hope that answers your question.

 

Yes. Gender and sexual orientation are typically viewed as separate traits. So, a person born male with a brain coded as "female" can be (as the female they were meant to be) straight, gay, bisexual, asexual, etc. One does not necessarily have any bearing on the other.

 

Yup, I know a MtF who is in a relationship with her girlfriend.

They are a really sweet couple

 

Yeah, transwomen can be lesbians, and transguys can be gay. Or bisexual. Or straight. Or asexual. Gender identity isn't the same as sexuality.

 

I think there are a few lesbian transwomen and gay transmen here on EC.

 

Totally possible!

 

I have no idea why this was a revelation for you--or for anyone, honestly. People also tend to find it hard to believe that I struggled with being gay for nearly a decade.

A lesbian once told me, "It's not the same as a cisgender lesbian struggling with her sexual orientation." Her thought process was that since my body was born male, I didn't have any social problems with dating women. It was expected of me; therefore, I couldn't have any struggle with it at all.

This logic is flawed because it also assumes my gender identity was male until recently and it wasn't. I've been female all my life. Some of us figure out that we're female at a young age and we never really question it or anything. It's just something we are. As a young girl, I was attracted to other girls when everything around me told me I shouldn't be. Even if I was encouraged by society, due to my body, it still was difficult because I knew it wasn't fair to me or any girl I dated because she wouldn't know she was dating a lesbian. Perhaps I thought about it more than most, but the anxiety kept me from dating women until I came out of the closet at 26.

So, yeah, I am a lesbian. The thought that this can be surprising in the LGBT community of all things really shows how everyone sorely needs more education about transsexual people.

Edit: Keep in mind that at 26 I came out as both trans AND a lesbian at the same time.

 

Of course we can! Lol. If you identify as female, and date someone else who identifies as female, it's a lesbian relationship.

 

Transwomen who are only attracted to other women are lesbians, Transmen who are only attracted to other men are gay
Many Trans* people are also Bisexual

 

Lol, oh brother. I can't believe that this is something that needs to be covered.

A transman is male, and if he's attracted to other males, then yes, he is gay.
Same as how transwomen are women, and if she's attracted to other females, then yes, she is gay/lesbian.
As a transguy, I'm mainly attracted to chicks. That doesn't make me a lesbian.

 

I think what other people have said is right. There's a lot about being trans* that just doesn't show up on most people's radar and it sucks. So thanks Dublin Boy for making this thread and giving us a chance to shed some light.

I'm done being mopey like I was in the "later in life" thread I swear Things are tentatively better. But being a trans woman in a relationship with a woman isn't really as great as it sounds. It's not a magic way to be with your straight crushes. The attraction is still very one way, me for her. That's not to say that she can't see my body and get turned on. She can. And weird as it sounds it sucks ass. She is attracted to and, although letting go, still very much in love with the man she thought I was. We're getting along better and there is hope. She's heteroflexible for me and Catherine Zeta Jones :lol: But for a very long time, the feeling was exactly like being in love and a relationship with someone that's openly in love with, and seeing, someone else. That someone else might be Catwoman to my Selina Kyle so to speak, maybe Samus in and out of her armor would be better, but it's still someone else, and it still hurts being constantly compared to this person and pushed and changed to be more like them, like who I am is something to be ashamed of and mourned. Like she's settling for me because she feels trapped or like she can't do better. I know how it sounds, but when you're living it, it pretty much destroys your self esteem every day. Every reason you have for wanting to be with someone, this situation at least at first, and without so much hell and work that it stops being worth it, will pretty much get you the exact opposite.

So yeah, my point is, it really isn't more acceptable to go after other girls for us trans women. If we're read as men, well see the above paragraph. Not want. If we're read as women, and we're still going through the process of transition, we're going after a minority within a minority. If we're done transitioning, we have a secret that shouldn't, but potentially could, destroy any relationship we get into. And a lot of us, having come out in relationships with all the scars that situation leaves, are once bitten and twice smart and won't just settle for the first person we come across that happens to be compatible even then.

I think another challenge is that, honestly, people are a lot less accepting on the whole when you seek out therapy than you'd think they would be. It's too exhausting to even get into here. But when you're gay after transition instead of before, it can become another "not trans enough" obstacle between you and out, proud, and not miserable about being a member of your true gender. I'm kind of torn here. I mean, it's awesome that being gay for a lot of people opens doors as far as gender expression and other things people get bent out of shape about. In fact that fact alone makes what I'm about to say so worth it. Please keep letting your freak flags fly. But at the same time, it kinda pisses me off that being gay makes you somehow "less" of a member of your gender.

 

yeeep.

 

Even though it's reverse for me, I get what you're saying, and it's a very over-looked part of transgender relationships.

When I was as my girlfriend's house last night, we were talking and happened to get on the topic of my transition and when I'm starting T, all that stuff. But she expressed to me that it's going to definitely be a change for her, because she was initially attracted to the girl she knew me as, and was very much infatuated with the fact that I had a very rugged, tomboy vibe to me, while still resuming my roll as a female. Though she accepts me as her boyfriend, refers to me as her boyfriend, uses the correct pronouns and even has her mum view me as a boy, it's.. quite the change for her. She wouldn't want to admit it to me for the sake of my feelings and related dysphoria, but she most likely still views me as the girl she met and eventually fell in love with. She's asked me how much my appearance is going to change with my transition, and if my personality will change. There's a lingering fear in the back of her mind, that perhaps she won't be attracted to me anymore due to me, fully becoming the man that I am, internally.

I've expressed to her that my personality won't change, but I'll ultimately become a lot more hairy and I'll develop an appetite from hell. :lol: But it's definitely a drastic change. I'm going from a lesbian to a straight male, though I've always felt like a guy and wanted to consider myself straight (but due to gender stereotypes and my questioning, I couldn't announce it as so). We're shifting from a relationship which started out homosexual, to heterosexual. It's quite draining, to say the least. I'm a little apprehensive of what's going to happen in our relationship, and if we do break up, I have a fear that it's going to take me a very long time to find somebody else who'll love me, regardless of my genitals or gender identity. I'm young, though, so I shouldn't worry all too much, but it's definitely going to create some future problems for me. Mainly focusing on my current relationship, I'm sure my girlfriend will try to become "homoflexible" (though she identifies as bisexual, with a preference for women).

I would imagine that this a thing that happens for a lot of transgendered individuals in relationships.. starting out from either a straight or gay relationship, and making the 180 switch. It's a very complicated process and it sucks. A lot.

Ah, somewhat rambled there. My bad.

I do see where you're coming from, though, Cassie29.

 

Ahh rambling's good sometimes.It's kind of interesting that we're going literally the opposite direction here. But yeah it's exactly the same problem. And I mean, my partner's identity is just as valid as mine, which makes things way hard.

I'm glad you found someone awesome oddish

I know even if my partner and me eventually decide we can't do this, I don't regret a second I've spent with her. Well maybe some of it :lol: Probably her too. But that's life. I'm still really glad I took the plunge and asked her out forever ago even if things are hard now.

I think a huge problem for our partners is, you get used to being identified as one kind of couple in public, and then with the switch it's completely different. I mean, my partner has really mixed feelings about us presenting as a lesbian couple. That's really the biggest understatement too. We've got a lot of gay friends but we also have some people in our lives who probably won't be too accepting. Although we're looking forward to pissing off her ultraconservative cousin :lol:

I've heard from people in your shoes that they really hate giving that up after coming to terms with who they are and accepting their role as a gay couple. I can really only imagine that because I don't have any firsthand experience. I'm pretty sure at least some of the people in my life quietly assume I'm a gay man just because I'm getting a little more bold with being gender variant in public. Gotta work on that voice right? But I'm not a gay completely out of the closet woman yet. But I would think, after fighting so hard for some acceptance in your life, it would be hard to give it up and go back to being straight.

 

I'm a FTM who is attracted to males. Therefore I'm gay.
If I liked girls I'd be straight. Same thing goes for MTFs only opposite, if they like girls they're lesbian, but if they like guys they're straight.