Conversations About Homosexuality...

Yeah, I guess...

The day after I came out to my best friend, he started saying things like 'Don't worry! We can change you!' and 'Ask that girl out, it'll prevent this from happening.'

I told him that I can't be changed. Halfway my explanation he butts in 'yes you can!'

My eyes never stopped rolling at him.

 

I had an extended unconformable conversation about gender roles in gay relationships with someone (Whom I wasn't out to) which I eventually walked away from.

It just astonished me how much the person thought they knew about gay relationships when in reality just about everything they said was wrong :eusa_doh:.

How would I know, well, I'm gay .

But yeah the misinformation out there can be difficult to combat especially when coming out and having to face it.

 

I've never talked with friends about sexuality. I'd probably be just as ignorant if not more ignorant than them, though, on homosexuality :icon_redf.

I imagine if they asked me questions, I'd just be responding "I have no idea" to everything.

 

I had a really awkward one recently with a group of friends (none of whom know I'm gay) while we were at a bar sitting across the room from a lesbian couple.

One of them (a pretty crude guy) kept saying that he was sure he could convince them into having a threesome with him because "they have to be wondering what they're missing" and they just haven't been able to find a guy yet who could "show them a good time"

I kept trying to explain that that wasn't how it worked, but then I think he started getting suspicious so I quickly dropped it. I think people who aren't gay generally can't understand it so it makes the conversations really awkward and I usually prefer to avoid them.

 

I don't mean to offend, but that friend of yours is a pig. It's men like him that spawned feminism.

 

Well Ever seance I came out to my friend , all he ever does is ask me what my favorite positions are , what kind of porn do I watch , If i'm top or bottom ... Yeah , very inappropriate stuff that , on his side , thinks is funny , but to me , I think it's just a bit.. awkward... :icon_redf:icon_redf:icon_redf:icon_redf:icon_redf:icon_redf:icon_redf

 

Wow I guess I'm lucky haha because I have never experienced any awkward conversations. So far 4 friends know, but I only really talk about it often with my best guy friend. And he is just so amazing. He is really playful/joking about it without being offensive, it just confirms to me that he still loves me and my coming out hasn't changed any of that. I always thought he would be the friend who I would just not talk to about this, but oddly enough the opposite happened. Whenever I wanna talk about guys or whatever he is pretty much the only one I tell lol. Then again, he is pretty open-minded about things and definitely not a bigot, so I guess it makes sense that he wouldn't be obnoxious or rude about it.

 

He definitely is. Thankfully he is more of an acquaintance that I know through other friends within the group

 

I've has so, so many with my mother. She has soo many misconceptions about sexual minorities.

She once told me "I know you'll be with a butch because you're so feminine" which is awkward because 1). I'm not really feminine at all and 2) it obviously doesn't work like that. When I tried to explain that to her, that relationships don't have to conform to society's image, she just gave me a look that said "I know more than you"..... lol really?! Because I'm not a sexual minority or anything... ugh

She also referred to a gay cousin of ours as a girl. And, since I came out to her as gay, she has treated me as less of a women. As if all straight women are all dresses and makeup. She makes comments like "oh well a woman would understand"... I've honestly given up trying to talk to her about it because she doesn't listen. She just gives me that look.

 

Back in college, I had a co-worker who was somewhat wigged out for a while after I came out to him (which I did because he kept making homophobic comments and I was in a 'ok then, let's see how you deal with the real thing' mood). I had great fun watching him twist in the wind for a week or three.

He also tried to 'fix' me by saying he was going to take me to a strip club or topless bar or something. I told him I'd only go if he went with me to a gay bar. Because I was going to have to waste an evening, so was he. He didn't like that option at all. Funnily enough, we actually got along better after I came out to him than before.

I also had a housemate who would constantly ask if I found him attractive (or sexy, depending on the day), if I thought he had a nice body, etc. in front of all the other guys in the house (there were six of us, it wasn't a 'friends all renting a house' situation, and I was out to everyone). He also said that when I first came out to him he was afraid I was going to come into his room some night and rape him (since I wasn't small and effeminate like the gay guys he claimed he was 'used to' seeing back home). I tended to take a very clinical and (appallingly?) honest approach to this along the lines of:

"No, I don't find you attractive, you're not my type. You have a good body, but I like hairy guys and you aren't so it really doesn't do anything for me, sorry. Why on Earth would I want to rape you? If I want to have sex with a guy, a big chunk of my enjoyment comes from making him feel good and empathizing with those feelings. Rape isn't going to do that. Anyway, even if you were my type and I wanted you, I'm not going to mess around with a straight guy and could just go to the bar to find 20 guys with similar features who would be happy to see me. etc.'

At one point, I offered to try and set him up with a guy to experiment with if he wanted, but he declined. I also told him once that I thought that if it wasn't for his religion, he'd probably try something with a guy just to see what it was like. He agreed with me.

In hindsight I suspect he was bi-curious or questioning, but at the time I wasn't even thinking along those lines.

The only more recent (maybe 8yrs ago?) conversation was with a co-worker who tried to get me to go to conversion therapy. I just found him amusing. He wasn't at all happy with the way the conversation turned out (I have a bad(?) habit of poking the bear and will try to deliberately cause distress when presented with this sort of stuff).

Anyway.

Todd

 

Excerpts from few funny conversations I had with my conspiracy theorist, neo nazi worshiper brother:
He: I hate homosexuals...
Me: Then you hate me too.
He: You are the only homosexual I like.
Me: That's hypocritical, you hate us all, or you love us all, there's no middle.
He: Argghh O.K, O.K, I love you all.

This is another funny(touching) thing that happened while we were watching Brokeback mountain.
Me: Are you crying?
He: This is so f***ing heartbreaking.
Me: That's so cute.

This happened while we were watching How I met your mother.
Me: Barney is gay.
He:In real life?!
Me: Yesss.....
He: Everything I love is gay...
Me: That might be a clue.
He: :eusa_naug
There are so many others, but I must admit that he surprised me with a change of heart, and maturity he showed. He's not neo nazi anymore, and he urges our parents to accept my sexuality.
I have an awesome brother.

 

It's sad what people often say, but sometimes hilariously so. My mother actually believes that the lesbianism of her friend's daughter was caused by the fact that she played rugby as a girl.:roflmao: I wonder what she'll think caused my gayness.

 

No, I can't say I understand this. I've never met anyone who I feel misunderstands even one aspect of homosexuality. This is possibly because I've never spoken to a homophobic person in my life.

 

Alot of people think too much into stereotypes

The amount of times I have been told that I am not "gay looking" since i dont act like Louis Spence (infamous gay hyperactive but loveable celebrity in the UK)

 

Me: Mom, why do you hate gay people?
Mom: I don't hate gay people! It's just every time I see a gay guy, I think of the way they have sex and that is just disgusting!
Me: What about lesbians?
Mom: I don't even want to know what they do!
:bang:

 

It depends on the person I'm talking to, but I feel really awkward with most of people. At least in person. But I also feel very uncomfortable when I watch TV (for example) and people are talking about homosexuality and when I'm in a room with my mum or anyone else from my family (I've come out to my mum in February).