I'd love to be in a gay marriage, and as Hexagon said, I'd imagine it to be quite similar to a straight marriage, complete with the arguing, disagreement, and reconciliation that comes with the territory. The one thing that's different is that your taxes are harder.
Yes, in fact my husband and I have been married for 1.5 years. We traveled to Iowa where it is legal. Having said that our home state of Wyoming, and the federal government do not recognize it still. I would agree that it is quite similar to being in a straight marriage except for the government benefits we don't get... Yet... Hopefully DOMA goes away in June.
Sounds like it will - in which case you'd get all the federal benefits, just not state recognition or benefits (since they'll likely drop the prop 8 part on a technicality) - right? Just wondering.
@ Lovely, That is correct as I understand it. Wyoming may have to change though since the state laws do not restrict marriage to one man and one woman, and in fact state that they will recognize marriages performed in any other state or country. They get around that via DOMA, but with DOMA gone they may have to recognize my marriage in Wyoming. Wyoming was even forced to recognize a lesbian marriage from Canada two years ago, just to be able to grant a divorce.
Actually, it depends on why they strike DOMA down. If they invalidate it on equal protection grounds, then yes, we get the sweeping victory that makes same sex marriage legal in all states and the federal gov't will have to recognize them. But while I think there are enough votes to strike it down, I do not think there are enough votes to strike it down on that basis. I think we will get the liberal justices voting to strike down on equal protection grounds, but the fifth (and maybe even sixth) vote to invalidate will be on federalism issues. If that's the case, then the federal gov't will have to recognize same sex marriages in the states that currently allow them, but states that do not currently allow same sex marriage will not be required to permit it. And for most things, whether the federal gov't considers you married is based on the law of the state in which you reside. So if you went to a state that allows same sex marriage to get married, but live in a state that does not recognize it, the fed gov't will not consider you married for most of the benefits accorded to married couples.
I am married to a man, have been for four years. I think it is exactly the same as a heterosexual marriage. However, when I talk to coworkers/acquaintances who are in heterosexual marriages, often their relationships sound a lot less egalitarian than mine. I know that there are egalitarian heterosexual marriages, but I think that due to sexism, tradition, and maybe religious factors, many people consciously or unconsciously believe that they have to fit a certain mold of how a "husband" and a "wife" must behave.
I am engaged if that counts. We are planning to wait a few years before getting hitched, so we go for a marriage not a partnership
