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Date Ideas....Making the first Move?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Rakkaus, Apr 6, 2013.

  1. Rakkaus

    Rakkaus Guest

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    Alright, so I've been on these apps everyone knows about (but we can't mention) a bit now, have chatted with a few guys but haven't really gotten any further. I've gone on a few dates from an online dating site, but that was because they asked me out.

    But now, yesterday this really cute boy messaged me, he's like a scene boy, kinda emoish and skinny (tho he's 6ft tall!) and we've been chatting a bit, and now we've kinda just been going back and forth saying we want to go out, but neither of us have been willing to get any more specific than that. Last thing I said to him was to ask him if he wants to go out with me and he responded "sure!". Now I'm very happy he said that, but I don't know how to proceed from here.

    As I said, the only time I've been on dates have pretty much been when the other person had an idea and asked me out somewhere. (Like 2 weeks ago, when a guy online asked me to accompany him to a drag show at a gay bar) I mean I've had a few ideas about what we could do, but I'm afraid he'll think they're lame or something. He's under 21, so I don't think a bar is a good option, plus I'd rather go some place we can talk to each other, and I don't want to get drunk.

    Although this boy says he likes dates better than hookups, this is still a hookup app, so I want to balance between seeming like some sex-obsessed creep versus some desperately clingy romantic. I would love for a relationship to blossom, but I don't want to make him uncomfortable if he's only looking for a fun date...if I ask him out to a romantic dinner, he might think I'm weird; if I say let's just meet up and have casual sex (which I don't want to do), then he might think I'm a creep. (I don't even respond to people who just message me "wanna fuck?" with a pic of their hairy balls. Like WTF?)

    Does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do or say? Any date ideas? I suck at making the first move on anything. Should I ask him what he likes to do? :help:
     
  2. castle walls

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    What kind of things does he like to do? If you can incorporate an interest of his into the date that would be great.

    First dates can be really fun. Personally, I like to keep things light and casual. I'd be kind of put off if someone I was with spent a lot of money on the first date. I suggest a coffee date for the following reasons:
    • convenient (coffee shops are pretty much everywhere)
    • usually pretty safe
    • cheap (if you spend a lot of money early on, your date may be less attracted to you. They may think they like the expensive dates and not you. Google "over-justification effect" if you want to know more)
    • gives you a chance to talk
    • your date should be able to find something on the menu that they like (coffee, tea, bagel, cake, etc.)
    • it is a low pressure setting so your date may be more comfortable and be able to focus on you more

    The caffeine would help you out as well. There are a lot of reasons why coffee dates are a good idea and I only scratched the surface. I'm not saying that the only thing you should do on the date is have coffee but it could be a nice way to wrap things up. Perhaps you could see a movie or a play and then go get coffee afterwards? Or you could just get coffee and talk?

    If you don't like any of the ideas above you could always try:
    • Bowling
    • Roller/ice skating
    • concert
    • tennis
    • mini golf
    • tours
    • picnic at a park
    • visit a public garden
    • play pool
    • sporting event
    • go karts
    • the mall
    • art gallery
    • zoo
    • amusement park
    • carnival
    • comedy show
    • ice cream parlor
    • dancing

    Those are just some ideas. I suggest you try to keep things light and casual. This is a first date after all. Let me know if you think I can help some more

    Good luck!
     
  3. Rakkaus

    Rakkaus Guest

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    Thanks for the advice! :slight_smile:

    Coffee was an idea, though I don't know if he likes coffee, I'll definitely ask him. Although I regretted wasting $5 on a 'tall' skinny vanilla latte last time I was at Starbucks, what a waste of money and calories. But a coffee shop is still a cool place for a meeting, as least as cool you're going to get without going to a bar.

    Unfortunately I'm not sure if I can swing most of the options on your list. It's still pretty chilly out, tomorrow it's supposed to finally warm up a bit, but still not sure about outdoor activites.

    The mall was definitely also on my mind as a possibility, I love walking the mall browsing and shopping even by myself, but I always see couples walking around and am jealous. Plus as I said he's kinda an emoish scene boy type, so he must love shopping at like Hot Topic and stuff right? But then I thought, asking him to go shopping might seem a lame idea.
     
  4. nikom87

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    I second the coffee shop and the mall. Even better, a coffee shop at a mall if there is something like that, or similar to that, near you. That way, if you guys don't feel like coffee/tea, you have back up options, like shopping. I don't think shopping is a lame idea at all. Its at a public place, with lots of options, and that way you can walk around and chat with each other without some intimate, intense environment that would make you feel like you had to go have sex afterwards if a hookup isn't what you want at the end of the night.
     
  5. redstormrising

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    coffee was always my favorite first date when i was using online dating sites. it's safe, public, and if things don't go well, there's a natural endpoint (when you finish your coffee). if things go well, you can always suggest going somewhere to get a bite to eat after.
     
  6. ChefJohnny

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    I agree with coffee shops. Thats been my "first time meeting someone" spot for a long time. Relatively quiet but has background noise to cut any awkward silence. Lots of people in case things get weird. If he doesn't like coffee, theres always hot chocolate or tea.
     
  7. Rakkaus

    Rakkaus Guest

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    K thanks guys.

    So I asked him what he would like to do for a fun date and he said "Ummmm surprise me lol".

    So I guess it's all up to me now to decide what to do.

    There's a Starbucks near the local mall, so I was thinking of trying the mall/coffee combined angle.

    I mean I'm not sure if he drinks coffee or likes to hang out at coffee shoppes. He's 18 and kinda emo, he looks like a scene boy. Anyone on this forum know what those kinds of people like?

    All the other dates I've been on have been with older guys who asked me out and just decided everything taking me along for the ride. However I got burned by that, so I'm hoping this works out instead.
     
  8. castle walls

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    Even if he doesn't drink coffee, coffee shops still have a lot to offer. They also serve tea, hot chocolate, pastries, and smoothies (depending on where you go). I'd be kinda shocked if he didn't like hanging out at a coffee shop at all. They serve so many different things there.

    Also, I get what you mean about Starbucks sizes. You don't have to limit yourself to Starbucks. Is there a locally owned coffee place by the mall?

    I don't know anyone like the guy you're describing but, if I had to guess, I'd say he probably likes music. Perhaps you could try to stop by a music store in the mall? But, like I said, I don't know any guys like that so that suggestion is worth a grain of salt :lol:
     
  9. Theagonist

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  10. Sully

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    Okay I've never been to New York but surely there's some little hidden gem coffee shops! Try to find cool little joints that have an awesome atmosphere, I guess you don't want to seem fake, but people that know of cool, lesser known places always appeal to me. In short, surely there has to be a cool part of New York that has some awesome hidden places! Starbucks...it's just a chain store :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Also if it were me, I'd avoid malls like the plague, I'd be bored out my brain, to me malls epitomise the filthy capitalist world we are constantly exposed to!
     
  11. Rakkaus

    Rakkaus Guest

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    Okay he hates the mall too, haha.
     
  12. Sully

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    That's a relief, if there's chemistry he's definately a keeper!

    I don't know what you're into but if there's any really cool art exhibits on that could be cool, and by cool I don't mean like renaissance portraits but something like this

    https://www.google.com.au/search?q=...oAQ&biw=320&bih=356#biv=i|8;d|OzyG2P7hptPk1M:

    One of the coolest exhibitions I've ever been to, I think EVERYONE would find stuff like that amazing!