Hi all, So my situation is I have the opportunity to move to either Houston, Texas or Los Angeles, California for graduate school. Programs/school aside, I'm a little conflicted on what to do. Graduate school is about 6 years and I'm in my 20s and I want to meet someone, date, have fun being out and enjoy life in general. I want to feel safe being out and gay. Generally, L.A. on paper seems way more gay friendly and progressive. HRC quotes LA scoring a 100/100 on their Municipal Equality Index. Houston scored a 55/100. Other things I know, Houston does have an openly lesbian mayor (this is reassuring). Both are very large cities and will be diverse no matter what. I was wondering if anyone had insight into which place I should move to, or if people here on EC who live in these cities can speak to how great (or bad) they are for a 22 year old gay male. Thanks for the help! I am really interested to see what everyone's thoughts are!
Congratulations on grad school! I live in LA. I think that there are areas in which you can go that it is extremely safe and welcoming to be an out gay man. There is no shortage of nightlife. There are more conservative areas for sure, but its such a diverse place, there will be somewhere nearby that you can go and be yourself (West Hollywood, Silver Lake, Long Beach, etc.). Like anywhere though, you just have to use common sense about your surroundings. The other major highlight to me of choosing LA over Houston is, in addition to the cited HRC rating, California has a way better track record on LGBT rights than Texas does. There are housing and workplace discrimination protections here, among other things. Feel free to message me if you have any questions about LA. I have lived in many areas here.
Thanks so much for taking the time to help me out! So in your experience, you have not had issues with discrimination? The school is in between LA and Pasadena, which I know is really conservative as well-not that I would live in that area. But I'm not sure if that will affect anything. I do like that Cali has a much better track record on LGBT issues, and for the future that matters a lot!
Yes, and I don't know if you plan on having kids in the future if you were to stay in CA, but joint parental adoptions are legal here too, which it is not in Texas. I personally haven't experienced discrimination, but I am not very out yet and I am sure that things do happen. However, none of my past gay friends or acquaintances ever mentioned anything negative along those lines. I am not entirely sure on your interests, but I know that there would be a part of town that would have what you wanted.
Congratz in getting to Grad school... you must be a scholar huh? lolzzzz im oringally from California and the life there is awsome... great bars, cafes, and the people are laid back... aint sure bout gay life i never experienced it myself but im sure its better than Texas...
As an outsider who will also be moving away in the next few years, I really enjoy seeing what others have to say. If I were you, I'd totally go with LA. Houston may be more open, but the surroundings? Yikes. The governor is a complete moron. And you're a man.... In such a conservative area, a lesbian will fare better. I know it's stereotypical, but it's true.
Texas is a really backwards state on the whole. It is one of the states where someone got arrested on an antiquated statute against gay sex. (The statute was eventually struck down, but it took a Supreme Court battle to do so.) It's dirt cheap compared to almost anywhere else, but that's probably one of the only big plusses for it. There are some pretty hip places in Texas -- Austin is cool -- but Houston is not the prettiest or most pleasant place to live. And there are a lot of rednecks there... I would feel a lot more safe walking around the streets of LA holding hands with a boyfriend than I would in Houston. Los Angeles is sprawling, diverse, has a lot of pollution, but probably a pretty polar opposite in terms of safety and acceptance vs. Houston. Definitely more expensive. And California is far, far stronger in terms of rights and consumer protections, not just for gays, but for everyone. If all other factors were equal, LA would be the winner by far in terms of a good place for a gay man.
LOL yah, I saw more gay people holding hands when I was in San francisco recently (grand total of 3) than in Houston for who knows how long I am in here
Personally, I'd rather give a cactus a blowjob than live in Houston. I spent 5 days there once, and that was enough to last me a lifetime. Not sure how LGBT-friendly it is, but it basically struck me as one big suburb where people are really into having things. Texans like football a lot, so if you don't like it (especially as a dude -- I probably have some leeway on this cuz I'm a chick), they might think you're weird. Oh, and drivers there aren't very pedestrian friendly, at all. There seems to be this "why walk when you can drive?" mentality. But hey, that's just my 2 cents. What are you going to grad school for?
I have spent time in both Huston and LA, but if Portland Oregon were an option I would pick that. Not sure what kind of education you are pursuing but we have some great schools here. I also do not hesitate to walk down the street here holding my boyfriends hand along with an occasional kiss. Good luck and be safe.
It was, I had an interview for OHSU, I fell in love with everything Portland. Unfortunately it did not work out best for me there, but I assure you I will be back to Oregon soon! It was an amazing city, and I had a blast visiting! Thank you all for the help and insight. It has been incredibly helpful!
