So i've known i was gay for like well forever, I was looking at guys at age 4 , but thought it was normal(awkward). So i'm in my teenage years now, and i've been coming out slowly. I obviously don;t go out to the world and shout " IM GAY!!!(!)" but if anyone asked me i would tell them, which is pretty often, considering how urm, feminine i am? So i'm guessing its part of the growing up years and hormones and stuff, but for awhile now every time i come out to someone, it feels like a part of me is sort left out or given away. recently my friend, who new i was gay, sort of questioned the idea of me being gay, which made me wonder, especially considering how i never bothered to question m sexuality at any point of time. I'm not emotionally or sexually attracted to women- i see them as friends, since i relate to them waaaaaaaaaaay better than i do to guys. So i'd love them as a friend-platonic. Meanwhile I have always been attracted in both aspects to guys, and I've always imagined myself marrying a guy(if you haven't figured out yet i'm a guy too...). So when she began questioning it it didn't really affect how i felt about the opposite gender, but it did sort of instil some sort of strange OCD questioning faze, whereby i know that i'm gay, but my brain consistently won't stop wondering " OMG what if you're not? what if you are attracted to females" which really makes no sense in my mind since i'm not..... So i guess I'm pretty much just curious as to how a straight couple would differentiate from a gay couple, although i have no intention of trying out having a "beard". And before you say that I should explore in that sense- I don't really want to? Like when I was younger a girl asked me out( i dunno0 and i had to turn her down in a really awkward manner... so what i'm trying to say is- I know i don't have feelings for the opposite gender and don't plan to explore that side, since I'd want to be able to give my (eventual ) husband or what not my maximum, while in that same respect, I'd be afraid that I might not be able to, since my brain is on a rampage to confuse me even though i'm not confused. (wtf)
Welcome to EC Bruz, I think i may be dumb or something. what is your question? ive read your post over and over again and still clueless to what you wanna know...
Don't worry, it's completely normal. Immediately after I told my mother my first thought was "Oh Sh*t, maybe I'm not actually gay". I have no idea why, because I am about as straight as a roundabout. I think it's possibly because we automatically know our sexualities without ever thinking about them and then when we are forced to do so we kind of start thinking "Is it possible...", "could I ever...", etc. But if you're gay, you're gay. No amount of thinking and questioning is going to change it. Regarding your curiousity about how straight couples differentiate from gay couples - I can't really answer that because I've only ever been in a straight relationship and it was kind of weird because I'm gay and she obviously wasn't a guy so there was no real connection.
Thats really reassuring! thanks! To winfield- I guess sort of _ why was I confused even though I was at the same time, sure of my sexuality?
lol i get it... sorry bud im a bit slow at times... . i realised i was into guys when i was 20 and thought i was gay but kept hooking up with girls so knew i wasnt totally gay. and not once with a dude untill this year... just turns out that im bi coz i still like chicks too in fact a bit more than guys i was right all along anywho.... dont know where i was going with that short story of my life ... but yeah JPC nailed it... its normal to question your sexualtiy even though your certain of it ...could be because of your upbriging, people's views etc...
hahaha, that makes sense. Thanks! Maybe its just cos I'm easily affected by my surroundings... like i would over think something IE "omg my chocolate milk spilled.. WHY DID IT SPILL" rather than attempting to clean up the spill.... terrible analogy...
