Ok, so I decided to look for some new gay friends online. Most of my friends are straight, to be honest, when Im around my straight contacts I just get that feeling sometimes, I just feel like "that girl"(dont know if anybody can relate?). You know how, when you´re straight you can just walk into the convenience store and feel like a group, like you´re like everybody else and that you belong? When you´re gay its like all of that changes somehow. I don´t know how to explain it. I just felt like befriending some people online that could probably relate, like a simple friendship between fellow gays.
Well, when you're the only LGBT person in a group of straight people, unless there's something more pertinent (ex. you're the only Asian in a group of white people), that becomes the most salient information. It's really easy to feel like a third wheel (or seventh, ninth, eleventh...). It also might be a little different based on how far along you are in accepting yourself. Back when I was first coming out, being gay was constantly on my mind - it was the most important facet of my existence. Now that I'm out and have more-or-less accepted it, it's not as important to me, and isn't always on my mind.
Tbh that's exactly how I'm feeling right now. If I'm with all my straight friends, I always find myself thinking "I don't fit in" or "I'm not like these people." Feel free to talk to me any time you want x x
I've never felt part of my friend groups. I had great friends up to 6th grade but then people started to pay more attention to the whole social label things and who you were started to be so important. Over the three coming years my "friends" slowly rejected me. I never really felt part of that circle of friends at the end like you describe. And now in 11th grade with a completely new group of friends I still feel kinda like I don't belong. Everyone is nice and friendly but I just never feel supercomfortable around other people in general, y'know. May have to do with me still being in the closet I guess my advice would be to find someone that you feel really comfortable around, and maybe have them introduce you to their friends. Or perhaps contact a LGBT group nearby. I don't know where you live, but if it is in Stockholm I am sure you'll be able to find one easily
I have the same problem. My best friend is a gay male and while i love him dearly I've never had any female lesbian or bi friends. I have straight guy friends but even then its not the same. I've also labeling issues and identity issues and thats a nono here for trying to join certain lgbtq groups.
I know exactly what u mean...i feel so out of place around my friends but i dont know anyone i can talk to that could relate to me. U are definately not alone in what ur feeling.
This is very similar to my issue, just in vice-versa. I have several lesbian and non-comformative friends but I have no male friends that are Gay or Bi that I can relate to. I have nothing against a feminine male but if you enjoy gossip, shopping and blasting Uber-pop songs all day, I don't see how this could work. Not to call myself Masculine or anything but I just wish I had more male friends like myself. Someone I could talk to about how I can't seem to find a boyfriend, someone who can relate to being a "unique" GBT Man, meaning very much out of the norm but not exactly a rebel either. I really need some non-hetero male companionship because I know my straight male friends are only playing when they say and make jokes about my orientation but it can be quite insulting when they joke about it but if I actually speak about it in a serious capacity, those Men revert to ignorant children.
Wow, this is so strange, but I truly have the same experience as nearly everyone else posting in this thread. I haven't had anyone I would consider a close friend ever. I have many people who I call friends, but I am a third wheel. I would love to have some gay friends. I just think I would finally fit into a group socially, which I am so ready for. I would love to have someone that I could connect to on any level. I just get so lonely.
Either I've been out so long I'm used to this/don't feel it anymore or my friends are just extra close. That said, for those of you who haven't experienced this yet, I can tell you that one of the most fun feelings I've ever had was being at a party at someones house (rather than a bar) and suddenly realizing that 'we' (the gay people) were in the majority and that the straights were a minority in the room. I really love my straight friends. But that was still a really nice feeling(!) Todd
It´s not that I haven´t accepted it, It´s just that I don´t feel that anyone can relate. Like, even when I´m in my group there´s always that distance between us because I´m not exactly the same. I was just wondering if there is anybody on the internet that feels the same way I do. Sure, thanks. I´ll add you. I understand what you mean. That whole alienation thing can be quite annoying, that´s why I started this thread, for people to find others that are experiencing the same kind of thing. I will try to find a LGBT group, only thing I found to far are nightclubs, but I guess I gotta keep looking. Thanks for your response and good luck with your friends. ---------- Post added 12th Apr 2013 at 12:26 PM ---------- I understand, I´m in a similar situation myself. Although I don´t understand why the lgbtq groups wont accept you because you´re questioning. Isn´t that one of all the reasons why people join these things to make sure? Thanks. Nice to meet others like me. Have you tried joining an lgbtq group? You´ll probably find lots of males there with similar interest. Whats your occupation? I know I´m going to study to become a mechanic soon where I´ll probably find - if not completely lesbian then at least - butch girls. Mabye you could try joining the fashion industry or something, I think many guys there will enjoy the same things as you and you´ll probably find some great friends to gossip with. You dont need to have all lesbian friends but my advice would be not to cut them off completely, for the sake of variety in your area of contacts. Nonetheless, this site doesnt seem to bad either, when it comes to finding friends, just explore your opportunities. Good luck! I hope I could help and that you´ll find great friends
Thanks for the reply, I understand what you mean completely, I´m in the same situation myself. I hope I can find some kind of circle soon with people like me. What I´ve learned is that you cant wait around for things to happen, you basically have to make it happen. I think the percentage of gay people in society are lower than straight, so the odds of finding a gay person in your neighborhood might not always be in your favor. Just try to join lgbtq circles, bars, clubs(if you´re 18+) or if you a femme go get a pedicure if you´re a butch join a racing competition, get to know people on forums or chat circles , just...do it!:icon_bigg best of luck to you Hahaha, sounds like fun to be in the majority for once! :lol: I´m happy for you. Thanks for sharing your experience.
