One of those days today, I am afraid, I have got to attend a Family Occasion tonight, a special Birthday Bash & I have got to pretend to be Straight for the whole evening as I am not out to any of my family & there are members on this side that are really Homophobic :icon_sad: There will no doubt be some cute Guys there who are friends of the family & try as I must, to not check them out, will be quite hard, especially where alcohol is around :badgrin: I am in a dilemma as to whether I wear my Bracelets or not I hate not being myself, since coming out to myself, being Gay seems to be on my mind 24/7 I will no doubt have a good time & will pounce back out of the Closet tomorrow (!)
I have been in the exact same situation a few times lately. And the thing is that even if I come out to my parents at some point, hopefully soon, extended family won't probably know for a while longer, so all of us will have to pretend to be a nice hetero family :| It's really frustrating that I cannot enjoy family gatherings anymore, because I have to always be alert for questions such as "so did you find a girl yet?" and similar. And because I hate lying, I always have to come up with excuses why I don't have a girlfriend, rather than imply that I am seeing someone...
You just reminded me of something funny I once heard I hate weddings. Old people would poke me saying You're next. They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, You're next. :roflmao:
Oooh yeah :lol: Typical! Personally I hate weddings so much that I never attend them, so the one time per 3 years that I do all the relatives call me random names of people that they think are me. And I gladly accept those new identities, just to mess with them! Not a single f**k was given that day :eusa_liar
The interesting thing with family gatherings is that sometimes people don't see what they aren't expecting ( or perhaps, don't want) to see. I had a family occasion recently. I am the only person in the family who my brother is out to. At one point I noticed that he was blatantly ( and repeatedly) checking out one of the caterers . To the best of my knowledge not one other family member there noticed or commented on his behaviour at all. Since we are not a family noted for our subtlety I am forced to conclude that no one else noticed a thing. (or, if they did, they refused to acknowledge having noticed it).
Just be yourself. Relatives know you and usually hardly ask how you are and what you are doing... Shouldn´t worry too much. If questions do come up about girlfriends, just say that it would be a boyfriend in your case. That´s what I did at familygatherings (half my family is quite religious). And I shrugged a lot as if I didn´t care what their opinion was about it. If you act like it´s normal and don´t care, they will respond in the same way. It was a suprise for some, but they didn´t really comment other than "ow" and the girls all were like "I always knew" . Some people avoided me. Couldn´t be bothered. You don´t have to talk to everybody, right? Ofcourse it helped that I was out to my parents and felt safe with backup... But, on the other hand, I´m still not out to everybody in town, cause they are so homophobic, so I do realize it can feel awkward! Also, a few months ago I was in Milan with my boyfriend (at his friends´place) and there was this huge gala at her place where we had to pretend to be straight (all devoted Catholics). We spend most time eating and drinking from about every platter that came by, so we could avoid talking at all. Also you can just "suddenly remember something" when a question comes up and walk away, if you really want to avoid to drop the bomb... Anyway, Dublin Boy, if I were you, I would wear my bracelets, so they simply know if they know what they stand for, maybe it´s even a good converstationstarter, and just check out the cute guys... Who knows... Good luck! Let us know how it went!
What Boyfriend said above makes a lot of sense. I, (we!) think it's time for you to take that step (for your own sanity!). What Boyfriend said about parental support is also important...if you can come out to your mum at least before the event, it might help (although I can imagine that it could probably raise her anxiety level several notches before it happens). You would have to make it clear to her that you won't raise the issue about girlfriends, but you won't hide it either.... Not easy, I know. But I would suggest you wear the bracelets (and avoid drinking too much! You'll need your wits about you!)
Those kind of occasions suck. I hate having to answer the 'do you have a girlfriend yet?' question. NO I DO NOT AND NEVER WILL! -_-
Family occasions are such magical, fun times :dry: Full of aunts that I don't like and uncles I never see. The endless queue of obscure relatives saying "You've grown... Any sign of a girlfriend?". I can't wait until I am in a relationship and can say "No, no... but have you met my boyfriend?" They're old Catholics though, so they'd probably beat me with a cross and start throwing buckets of holy water at me. If they're normal bracelets, you'll probably be fine, I know a lot of straight guys who wear them. If they're like rainbow bracelets or something, be ready for a grilling. Have fun! (!)
Tell me about it. It becomes irritating after a while. It's not time to come out yet to my family. If you think you're ready for it, then by all means, go for it.
I know the feeling of having to hop back into the closet. Sometimes I just want to shout at my inquisitive family that I don't want a BOYFRIEND and I have a GIRLFRIEND. Those are of course my extended family members who love asking if I've found Mr Right yet. Nope, and I'm not likely to any time soon
