Platonic Relationships - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

CrimsonThunder · 2nd Apr 2008, 06:24 AM

Do platonic relationships between two people of the same sexuality (eg. two gay guys/girls (or gay/bi) or two straight people) exist?

beckyg · 2nd Apr 2008, 07:35 AM

Sometimes they do. Sometimes they do not. One of my best friends is Tim who has been on here and posted a few times. I am not attracted to Tim in the least. (if he's reading, sorry Timmy!) However, I totally depend on him to interact with intellectually and for support. I'm actually not quite sure what I give him.

He lives on the East Coast and I live on the West. We met online and have met face to face once but have been friends for years.

I think if you are going to keep your relationship platonic you have to have boundaries and it is a risk. If you are involved with somebody else too you have to think about how they are going to handle it. If they are the jealous type, it could get sticky.

Alexander · 2nd Apr 2008, 07:44 AM

Definitely

If they didn't, then there would be a biiiiiiig problem in the world

2nd Apr 2008, 08:19 AM

Of course they do, otherwise gay men/women would feel no need to be selective in choosing partners.

Psychedelic Bookmarks · 2nd Apr 2008, 10:02 AM

Yeah, I think they can and do exist. But sometimes they morph into the other kind.

pirateninja · 2nd Apr 2008, 11:27 AM

Yep, I have a load of lesbian and bi girl friends

abercrombieboi · 2nd Apr 2008, 11:42 AM

uhm i have plenty of gay friends who i hav no attraction for because theyre like brothers to me, but i have hooked up with many of my other gay friends

Bromptonrocks · 2nd Apr 2008, 02:50 PM

Yes..they do...I've gay friends who are just friends. I can't ever imagine wanting to do anything with them (with repsect where it's due, of course).

neverover · 2nd Apr 2008, 06:21 PM

i have many gay friends. in fact, i never got a huge crush on internet friends. i only liked my classmate

Vampyrecat · 2nd Apr 2008, 07:08 PM

I have many gay and lesbian friends, none of whom I'm attracted to. For some reason, I always fall for the "Not quite Bi but curious, no I've decided I'm straight now" girls.
GAH.

**Maddy** · 2nd Apr 2008, 09:18 PM

One of my best friends in the world is another queer girl. She's a couple of years older than I am and she was the one who helped me through accepting myself and coming out. I love her dearly but there's no attraction there at all - I think of her pretty much as a sister. (Also, she's been with her girlfriend for something like five years). So yes, it's definitely possible.

CrimsonThunder · 3rd Apr 2008, 05:17 PM

I find this strange, the same question got asked on a forum I go to and I answered that yes they can but almost everyone else said no they can't! (straight people btw =P)

CaptainTrips · 3rd Apr 2008, 05:36 PM

I would say, from general experience (consider that most of this is in relation with 16-yr-old testosterone driven idiots, and advice from adult men), that platonic relationships can always exist! from a woman's perspective, at least. Men (straight ones, at least. i cant speak for gay/bi guys) seem, somewhere buried deep in their heads, to have an ultimate goal, even if it never, ever comes close to being remotely possible. but hey, without that, the human race'd probably have died out by now.

justjoshoh · 3rd Apr 2008, 10:56 PM

Absolutely, like abercrombieboy there are some guys that I know that are like brothers to me. There is one, in particular, that I credit saving my life. Though I'll be his friend forevermore, there is not a sexual attraction.

**Jim1454** · 4th Apr 2008, 06:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrimsonThunder

I find this strange, the same question got asked on a forum I go to and I answered that yes they can but almost everyone else said no they can't! (straight people btw =P)

Ya, straight people! Go figure!

I have a male gay friend. It is strictly platonic. That was the intention all along. I wanted to have a friend that I could relate to, who knew what I was going through, someone that I could be open with - before I came out to my other friends.

It is difficult making time for any kind of friends when you have a significant other in your life. But I try to stay in touch. My bf knows that my relationship with this friend is strictly platonic - he's not threatened at all. (Perhaps because my bf is WAY hotter than the other guy!

)

Time · 4th Apr 2008, 06:55 AM

I have a lot of older gay friends that I can't date because...they're older.

The only gay friend I have around my age is my ex boyfriend who's actually bi.

Psychedelic Bookmarks · 4th Apr 2008, 02:26 PM

I think straight people say yes because they already have a big group that is no-go: their own sex. So they don't see why you would want strictly platnoic relationships with people you could be attracted to. Whereas we understand how attraction can go anywhere and understand better how sometimes it could go there but doesn't. (Did that make any sense?)

2nd Apr 2008, 06:24 AM	#1
CrimsonThunder Seventh Son of a Seventh Son Full Member Gender: Boy Orientation: Bi Out Status: Friends, Work, Whoever knows Location: South Australian! Posts: 3,536 Join Date: Jul 2007	Platonic Relationships Do platonic relationships between two people of the same sexuality (eg. two gay guys/girls (or gay/bi) or two straight people) exist? __________________ Biggest car buff around.

2nd Apr 2008, 07:35 AM	#2
beckyg PFLAG Mom Community Liaison Gender: Female Orientation: Straight Out Status: Out to everyone/Yes, parents come out too! Location: Middle of Oregon Age: 50 Posts: 7,572 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: Platonic Relationships Sometimes they do. Sometimes they do not. One of my best friends is Tim who has been on here and posted a few times. I am not attracted to Tim in the least. (if he's reading, sorry Timmy!) However, I totally depend on him to interact with intellectually and for support. I'm actually not quite sure what I give him. He lives on the East Coast and I live on the West. We met online and have met face to face once but have been friends for years. I think if you are going to keep your relationship platonic you have to have boundaries and it is a risk. If you are involved with somebody else too you have to think about how they are going to handle it. If they are the jealous type, it could get sticky. __________________ "When we're free to love anyone we choose, When this worlds big enough for all different views, When we're all free to worship from our own kind of pew, Then we shall be free" ~ Garth Brooks

2nd Apr 2008, 07:44 AM	#3
Alexander EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Red Hook NY Age: 19 Posts: 2,736 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Platonic Relationships Definitely If they didn't, then there would be a biiiiiiig problem in the world

2nd Apr 2008, 08:19 AM	#4
Connor Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Platonic Relationships Of course they do, otherwise gay men/women would feel no need to be selective in choosing partners.

2nd Apr 2008, 10:02 AM	#5
Psychedelic Bookmarks Helena Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Close family and quite a few friends Location: UK Age: 18 Posts: 2,195 Join Date: Oct 2007	Re: Platonic Relationships Yeah, I think they can and do exist. But sometimes they morph into the other kind. __________________ "I refuse to recognize the terms hetero-, bi-, and homo-sexual. Everybody has exactly the same sexual needs. People are just sexual, the prefix is immaterial." (Morissey)

2nd Apr 2008, 11:27 AM	#6
pirateninja EC's Sailor Uranus Full Member Gender: Biologically Female Orientation: Heterosexually Challenged Out Status: Most people Location: Bath, England Age: 21 Posts: 5,853 Join Date: Sep 2007	Re: Platonic Relationships Yep, I have a load of lesbian and bi girl friends __________________ Holly the Pirateninja Ars Longa, Vita Brevis.

2nd Apr 2008, 11:42 AM	#7
abercrombieboi Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I'm on fire people Out Status: Being as flaming as I am, the ? is who doesn't... Location: Miam-shizzle Age: 20 Posts: 135 Join Date: Aug 2007	Re: Platonic Relationships uhm i have plenty of gay friends who i hav no attraction for because theyre like brothers to me, but i have hooked up with many of my other gay friends

2nd Apr 2008, 02:50 PM	#8
Bromptonrocks Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: 1 family member only. Location: UK Age: 52 Posts: 2,211 Join Date: Sep 2007	Re: Platonic Relationships Yes..they do...I've gay friends who are just friends. I can't ever imagine wanting to do anything with them (with repsect where it's due, of course).

2nd Apr 2008, 06:21 PM	#9
neverover I Got Your Display of Affection Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I Kiss Men With Lust Out Status: I'm Afraid If I Tell You I Have to Kill You Location: jakarta, indonesia Age: 21 Posts: 829 Join Date: Sep 2007	Re: Platonic Relationships i have many gay friends. in fact, i never got a huge crush on internet friends. i only liked my classmate __________________ I have met myself. He is quite a gentleman. But I'm too scared to get to know him. Nah, maybe we should just forget about this. You know what? I wanna do another quantum leap. After all, we're just molecules that can talk.

2nd Apr 2008, 07:08 PM	#10
Vampyrecat "Meow" Said the Cat. Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Everybody who Matters to me. Location: 1 hour east of Portland, Vic. Age: 20 Posts: 1,622 Join Date: Jul 2007	Re: Platonic Relationships I have many gay and lesbian friends, none of whom I'm attracted to. For some reason, I always fall for the "Not quite Bi but curious, no I've decided I'm straight now" girls. GAH. __________________ Call me Tess. Hey lets all eat chocolate!!!!!!!!!! Nom nom nom. Is the EC Gf of Heatqueen. Telly forever

2nd Apr 2008, 09:18 PM	#11
Maddy Free Hugs EC Admin Gender: - Orientation: Into girls Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 21 Posts: 7,704 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: Platonic Relationships One of my best friends in the world is another queer girl. She's a couple of years older than I am and she was the one who helped me through accepting myself and coming out. I love her dearly but there's no attraction there at all - I think of her pretty much as a sister. (Also, she's been with her girlfriend for something like five years). So yes, it's definitely possible.

3rd Apr 2008, 05:17 PM	#12
CrimsonThunder Seventh Son of a Seventh Son Full Member Gender: Boy Orientation: Bi Out Status: Friends, Work, Whoever knows Location: South Australian! Posts: 3,536 Join Date: Jul 2007	Re: Platonic Relationships I find this strange, the same question got asked on a forum I go to and I answered that yes they can but almost everyone else said no they can't! (straight people btw =P) __________________ Biggest car buff around.

3rd Apr 2008, 05:36 PM	#13
CaptainTrips EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Straight Location: RI, center of the universe Age: 21 Posts: 547 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: Platonic Relationships I would say, from general experience (consider that most of this is in relation with 16-yr-old testosterone driven idiots, and advice from adult men), that platonic relationships can always exist! from a woman's perspective, at least. Men (straight ones, at least. i cant speak for gay/bi guys) seem, somewhere buried deep in their heads, to have an ultimate goal, even if it never, ever comes close to being remotely possible. but hey, without that, the human race'd probably have died out by now.

3rd Apr 2008, 10:56 PM	#14
justjoshoh EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: Dayton, OH Age: 32 Posts: 426 Join Date: Mar 2005	Re: Platonic Relationships Absolutely, like abercrombieboy there are some guys that I know that are like brothers to me. There is one, in particular, that I credit saving my life. Though I'll be his friend forevermore, there is not a sexual attraction.

4th Apr 2008, 06:55 AM	#16
Time EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Arkansas Age: 18 Posts: 437 Join Date: Jul 2007	Re: Platonic Relationships I have a lot of older gay friends that I can't date because...they're older. The only gay friend I have around my age is my ex boyfriend who's actually bi.

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4th Apr 2008, 02:26 PM	#17
Psychedelic Bookmarks Helena Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Close family and quite a few friends Location: UK Age: 18 Posts: 2,195 Join Date: Oct 2007	Re: Platonic Relationships I think straight people say yes because they already have a big group that is no-go: their own sex. So they don't see why you would want strictly platnoic relationships with people you could be attracted to. Whereas we understand how attraction can go anywhere and understand better how sometimes it could go there but doesn't. (Did that make any sense?) __________________ "I refuse to recognize the terms hetero-, bi-, and homo-sexual. Everybody has exactly the same sexual needs. People are just sexual, the prefix is immaterial." (Morissey)