1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How do I let her know?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by RedLight, Apr 20, 2013.

  1. RedLight

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2013
    Messages:
    115
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NEW YORK, NEW YORK
    I met this girl in the begining of this school year. She sits with me and a group of friends at lunch and a few days ago I came out to her as Gay and she came out to me as Bisexual. She's funny, smart, and a great conversation starter. Not to mention she's hot. So, how on earth do I let her know I'm interested? :kiss:
     
  2. Hexagon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2011
    Messages:
    8,558
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Earth
    I'm no expert, but since you know she's open to romantic advances from women, I'd say something along the lines of: "I really like you, [insert reasons], and I wonder if you'd like to go on a date or something"
     
  3. FemCasanova

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2012
    Messages:
    1,113
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Oslo
    Yeah, it`s hard, but I really also recommend that you be a bit direct about it, because it`s easier for both parties. You can ask her if she wants to get a cup of coffee some time, and add a smile at the end off it. If you fiddle a bit with your hair while doing it, she`ll probably pick up that you are a bit nervous about asking, and should help her get the right idea about what you are asking. You could also check her out, and pretend to be overt about it (but do it when you know she`s bound to notice). Only problem is, if she`s like me, she might not notice regardless if you do it in an obvious way. I am terrible with picking up these things, but if someone had asked me to go take a coffee with them, and had that nervous look, I`d have added two and two, probably.

    You could also throw it out there, "So, what would you have said if I had asked you out sometime?" or "So, what kind of girl are you looking for?" and followed up with "Do I fit the bill?" That last one is a scary one though, lol!

    But yeah, as direct as you can, the better :wink:
     
  4. RedLight

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2013
    Messages:
    115
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NEW YORK, NEW YORK
    I don't know, the thing is she's kind of that "I don't need anyone" type; not stand-offish just kind of independent. So it's a bit intimidating to just go up and be like "Hey dude, wanna hang out sometime?" You know what I mean?

    And sure I know the cliche of "the worst that can happen is she says no." But that's a pretty big deal just getting shot down like that. So I will definitely be nervous, I just have to start a litlle more discretely I guess? Maybe like a "hanging out as friends" type thing, just to see what we would be like alone?
     
  5. OutwardSmiles

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2013
    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Arkansas
    People like that are kind of difficult.:/ Well don't call me an expert on this dating stuff—I'm not—but I do tend to know how people think. If she's that independent, I-don't-need-anybody type and you're going to try and do this slowly then just try to always be there for her, be that one person she can go to for anything even if she doesn't feel like she can (or needs to) rely on anyone else. But don't make it obvious that you're trying to do it on purpose and make sure not to smother her. Independent people are normally pretty, well independent, but they normally like to have someone to rely on. People like this normally base a lot of their opinion about someone off of loyalty and trust. Most of them feel anywhere from uncomfortable to frustrated or even angry if they think someone else thinks they need to be taken care of though.

    That's pretty much all the advice I can give you. If you're going to use this advice, though, compare it with her personality first to make sure I'm talking about the right type of person. I think we're talking about the same personality type, but you know her better than I do, so make sure I'm not wrong first.
     
  6. LD579

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2013
    Messages:
    236
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Canada
    Well... You could do 1 of 3 things.

    1. Ask her out blatantly
    2. Ask if she'd like to hang out with you
    3. Keep it to yourself, and see how things evolve

    I will say, though, that (1) or (2) is the most likely to yield results. At the very least, you'd get some form of closure on your crush, whether it's advancement or the start of the end.

    I've asked 3 guys out so far in my life. The first guy said yes, and then it ended just 3 months later. The second guy had been asked out just 2 days before, so it was fruitless. The third guy turned me down in a round-about way.

    That may not sound... encouraging, but it's what happened. Asking someone out is inherently risky on a certain level. You've just got to keep looking forward if you get turned down. There are lots of fish in the sea, and I'm sure you'll meet some who'll ask you out in the future =)
     
  7. FemCasanova

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2012
    Messages:
    1,113
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Oslo
    There`s a perfect drawing that I really wanted to find, but couldn`t, of two lesbians sitting on a bench, one waiting for the other to make a move. The next sequence shows the other lesbian having left, and the waiting one having turned to a cob webbed skeleton.

    :wink: