after coming out...

Like I said in my coming out story, there aren't words that can describe the feeling of getting the weight of years of living a lie off your chest and having a positive reaction. Few feelings in my life have topped me coming out the very first time. And it DOES get better!

 

Yes. I'm still closeted for the most part, but the relief you get in telling friends is just enormous! You do not want to spend all your teenage years hiding your attractions/gender. You can't flourish when you live a lie, you can't be yourself if you hide behind a permanent mask.

 

my fear in coming out is that i will have to start all over... i'd loose my friends, and i cant even get any LGBT friends now so if i were to loose my current friends then im just a gonner... and my family would probably disown me

no family + no friends = no hope

**please note this is my personal opinion if i were to come out..**

 

I don't have any friends, no phone calls to ask how I am, or if I want to go out. My family is huge, but as far as I know, all are homophobic and my parents are strictly religious and extremely homophobic.
I know that if I were to come out, I'd have no family, but, even though I do love them, it wouldn't bother me too much. Other people's bigoted reactions would probably drive me over the edge, so it's best to keep it all to myself.

 

My life is definitively a bit better now that I've come out. I don't have to hide myself anymore so that's a lot of weight off my shoulders.

 

I certainly feel different after coming out. I became more comfortable with myself, which is always a good thing. Were it not for other - totally unrelated - issues, I'd say my life got much better once I finally mustered the courage to come out.

 

Sure your life will be much different by coming out. People who thought they knew everything about out will be surprised/shocked that they really didn't. Best case scenario the person you come out to accepts this new information and continues to treat you the same; worst case they flip out and go all religious nut-job. And most people will have questions, so you better be prepared for people asking you "why" quite a bit. It's also best to expect losing some friends and family over coming out. Some people will just never be accepting. However, I found that those who now condemn me were always jerks that I never really liked to begin with.

I would say my first 2 months after coming out as a Transsexual woman was complete hell. Almost everyone was convinced that I was really coming out as a gay male drag queen. :dry: By the 3rd month though people started to realize that it really wasn't a big deal; they saw I was still the same person on the inside and started to mellow out. Now most of my relationships are back to the way they used to be. Even though the initial coming out was rough I'm much happier now. And after 27 years I finally get to wear dresses in public! >w<

 

From outward appearances I haven't changed a bit (except for that pair of colourful sailing socks I just bought - inner Fabulous thing coming out too!)

But on the inside...I am just not the same person, and I am much, much happier (despite upcoming divorce, etc.)

 

It's nice being open....but I really want people to realize it isn't necessarily "diamonds and rosé" after coming out. Often, you become the target for harassment because you're out and able to be seen. If you're lucky enough to find a relationship (if you want one) it's definitely nice, or you end up feeling quite lonely because no one seems to give two shits about dating you.
so, yes, it's less stressful but it is not perfect. Even though I mentioned that it can be bad, it's still better than being stuck in the closet.

 

My life definitely got better, because I can finally live my life. It feels like half of my life is gone, I was in the closet for almost fourteen years, so I was living a lie and not living as myself. I'm more comfortable with myself and more confident.

 

Yes! Everyone has something about them that they fear will cause them pain and rejection. Some cant hide that, whether if its because of their body, their race, their disability, and so on. Sometimes gay people are able to hide our sexuality, what we fear may separate from others.

But people who hide and try to pretend they are not what they are will always live with that anxiety of what if.... The people who I have met who are the most happy are the people who own what makes them different, who are the first to say it about themselves, who realize this is who they are, thats not changing anytime soon and others need to get over it. To stay in the closet may be to be comfortable and to feel safe. But to come out is to embrace yourself, to accept yourself, and to begin to learn to love yourself for who you are. When people see you love yourself, they react in usually two ways - either to tear you down because you are different, or to love you too for the confidence and positive energy you are able to give off. Haters always going to hate. No changing that. Not just gay people have to face that kind of blanket negativity.

But to feel loved for who you are, is a greater feeling that to be loved for who you pretend to be. Not everyones going to love you, but obviously, you are not alone. I remember hearing somewhere that gay and trans people get to chose their family. If you love yourself and have love to give, you will find people who will accept you and love you back.