Would you remain friends with someone who is against homosexuality?

Personally, I wouldn't be able to remain friends with someone who thought the way I am is sinful. Others may be more tolerant, but I tend to insist that my friends accept me as I am or get out of my life.

 

She has her beliefs and if yours and hers do not coincide respectably, I would say sayonara!

I have many Christian friends and I am Christian myself and they are my friends BECAUSE they are nonjudgmental. I don't care if they consider it a sin as long as they are supportive and respectful. They have been nothing but supportive of my attractions and I believe everyone deserves friends like that otherwise, kick 'em to the curb! They aren't going to change and neither will you and that's just life.

 

This happened to me once. I did not have feelings for the guy in question, and I hadn't even come out to him, though there was some suggestion that I was bi, not on my part, but based on my refusal to answer questions about my sexuality while in his presence. We got onto talking about homosexuality, and he turned out to be one of the most homophobic people I've ever met. I really didn't feel comfortable being friends with him, and I didn't think it was the right thing to do. I didn't remain friends with him.

Don't say that you should have kept your mouth shut. You only told her the truth about you, you shouldn't be expected to hide a fundamental part of yourself to satisfy someone's bigotry. After all, if you hadn't come out, you would have been friends with a homophobic person - all that has changed is that you know about it.

From an ethical point of view, if you were to remain friends with her, do you think you might be able to help her modify her beliefs? Or do you think that ending the friendship might be more likely to make her see things differently.

And from a more personal point of view, how much does she mean to you? Do you think you'd be able to cope without her? And how would you feel about yourself if you continued being friends with her?

 

Hexagon's right. You can't lie about your sexuality because she is uncomfortable about it. If she drops you for your sexuality, then I wouldn't say she was ever a true friend. You are the same person you were before you came out. If you want to stay friends, set up a clear boundary of what you will tolerate and what you won't, because these people often treat non-heterosexuals with a lot less respect once they find out.

 

No, considering their argument is bullshit. Read my latest blog for more details, actually.

 

We only have so much time in life; I don't see why we should waste it around people who don't accept us. If you otherwise like her enough as a person to keep her around, it might be worth remaining casual friends. However, her reaction raises some serious red flags. It's probably not a good idea to get too emotionally close to someone who thinks that way, since the probability of you being severely hurt by them is high. Besides, there are, what, 7 billion people on this planet? Why settle for someone who rejects a fundamental part of you when there are countless others who won't?

 

If someone doesn't accept for who I am, then so be it.

 

All my friends are straight and against homosexuality so I suppose yeah I will

 

The first time it happened to me, I remember thinking "well, cya!" It was one of the only things that came naturally to me. Granted, I didn't really like her that well, but I was totally fine. I saw her again, years later, and I thought "thank god." I don't need that negativity.

Your friends must accept you. There's a reason YOU ARE FRIENDS! Good acquaintances don't really need to - they just need to tolerate you I guess. But friends? Drop em, I say!

 

I sort of disagree. One of my best friends recently moved and she was really religious. But her religiousness made her REALLY nice--she never did anything mean at all and was just so caring and selfless because that is what her religion said to do. However she had also been taught that homosexuality was a sin (she didn't hate gay people, she just thought sex had to be procreative. She's big on abstinence/not having a relationship unless you think it will end in marriage). While I never came out to her, I knew that if I did she wouldn't hate me, just try to change me. Even though she was such a good friend I was almost glad that she moved because I was so scared of what she would think of me if I ever came out.
Being homophobic doesn't necessarily mean they are a bad person. If she is a good friend, give her time because knowing you might help her see that it isn't so bad after all.

 

I'd drop the friend. There isn't a reason to stay friends with someone who is bigoted.

 

It depends on how they express their issues with homosexuality.
I'm friends with a fair few people who believe homosexuality is wrong, that gay marriage is a sign of a morally corrupt society and all of that. However they have never been vicious about those who are gay, they explain their beliefs, I explain mine, and we have heated discussions over Christianity, sexuality and whether or not it's appropriate to try and impose religious convictions onto those who are not religious.

They're not shy in letting me know they think I have let myself down, and in a way it's worse seeing as they believe I have a choice in the matter due to my bisexuality, but they're never rude. I know full well what they think, and that's fine. I have my views, they have theirs, I think those friendships work because we do discuss our views and are happy to accept that on this topic we disagree. They think I am sinning, I think they should look a little closer to home regarding their own sins rather than waving their sin sticks at others. We all agree the only way forward is to discuss why we have an issue with the views of the other and have a jolly good Bible session.

If people can be polite and respect that ultimately it is my life and my decision, then I do not mind them thinking I'm going to hell or that they'll win me round one day. If I snipped all of my friends who disagree with homosexuality, I'd have no friends left seeing as many of my close friends are either Muslim or Christian. N and I had a lengthy talk the other day about homosexuality, and she commented on how I made her see if from a different point of view. We came to the conclusion that each person must make their own decisions in life, and each must do as they see right providing what is right does not harm another. We're very different in many ways, and that is part of what makes our friendship wonderful.

I only snip the friendship cord when they show themselves to be vicious in their remarks and far more interested in punishment than talking to those they disagree with.

 

I've slowly started distancing myself from openly homophobic friends and family, and leaving a huge part of my private life out of conversations with those uncomfortable with the idea. Seriously, an acquaintance of mine yesterday outright said she thought gay sex was disgusting, fully aware of my orientation; she's probably going to have to go, sooner or later.

 

Certainly, but we wouldn't be best friends! I've had some conservative Christian friends who were very rigid in their beliefs but they didn't talk about them much so it wasn't an issue between us. If they had continually brought up my lack of religion (or my sexuality, if I was out to them), then I would drop them.

 

Personally, I don't care what others think but at the same time I would NOT be friends with someone hateful.

There is nothing good to come from a friendship like that. You know they will talk about you behind your back. Life is way too short to hang around idiots.

 

Nope. If they're homophobic or against homosexuality, they're most likely transphobic. People like that don't like people like me. I don't care for them either, so I'm not missing out.

 

I have remained friends with people who were against homosexuality, but they weren't hateful about it.

 

I already am!

 

First off I want to applaud you for your courage in telling your friend especially when you knew they had a negative view of homosexuality. I have a friend who lives across the state from me. We met when I was 7 and she was 9 so we've been friends for a long time. Our beliefs have definitely diverged from each other's since her moving away five years ago but we've kept in contact. She is extremely homophobic and christian and I haven't come out to her because I don't want her to reject me. The only reason I'm hanging on is that she is my longest standing friend even if we aren't as close as we used to be. It's not healthy in my case though with her. It's either hide a piece of yourself or have them never be able to really accept who you are if you stay friends with them. I see you've chosen the latter. I don't think you should stay friends with her because now that she knows she made hurt you, but it all depends on how easy it is to change her mind about things.